Sufferer Medical Abuses

[katurian]

I just wanted to agree with this. You do have a say in where your medical records go, when. It tak...

Thank you. I'll talk to my therapist about that. And yeah, it was vindicating to finally get an accurate diagnosis.

 

[pixel]

The events surrounding your somatoform misdiagnosis was likely traumatic to you. Reading your comments tells me you felt violated and invalidated.
You appear to have a deep-seated mistrust of the medical profession, understandably, as they have not acted upon the medical principles of beneficence and doing no harm to you.

Naturally, by taking ownership of your autonomy and medical treatment, you are now reluctant to submit to further tests and examinations.

I would warn you the consequences may be life threatening in your circumstances, and urge you to consider this attitude is a form of self-harm.
Your therapist will be able to assist you in developing healthier coping strategies and in unpacking the issues surrounding your medical treatment.

 

[katurian]

The events surrounding your somatoform misdiagnosis was likely traumatic to you. Reading your comments te...

I agree the events when I was 12 were traumatic for me. I'm seeing my therapist one more time (either tomorrow or the day after) because I'll be returning to school in a different state in September. After that I won't have a therapist. I know I'm potentially not doing as well as I thought I was, even being on this site for a few days has shown me that. But I'm doing so much better and I don't want to go through the difficult process of finding a new therapist for a variety of reasons. I also want to feel independent. So I don't know how much time I'll have to unpack my aversion to medical tests.

I know this isn't rational, but I don't care if the consequences are life-threatening because if they are, at least I'll die on my own terms. The risk of dying was forced on me in the psych ward and it didn't matter. At the same time, it was taken from me when I tried to kill myself and was punished for that. So this tells me only what I don't decide is allowed. It's not about dying, it's about whether or not that's something I choose. If I choose it, it's wrong, but if other people choose it for me, it's right.

I know I have to move past this mindset but I have to do it in my own time. Feeling pressured will make things worse and increase the way I feel.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

That's just horrendous all you've been through smh I'm soo sorry.

I have to say the things you said about the psychiatric ward didn't surprise me, which is horrible in its self. I too knew someone who worked in a psychiatric hospital as a porter he had to quit because of the horrific things he saw. He couldn't even speak about it without crying. I also know a few people who've been in psychiatric wards and hospitals for long periods of time and having visited and spoken to them I know how bad it can be. I'm just so sorry you've been through all of this.

I too was quite poorly as a child and spent quite a bit of time in hospital so I know first hand how cold, cruel and dismissive some medical professionals can be. I remember one night on a ward a girl was crying and crying she was obviously in pain the night nurses just kept telling her to shut up and that she was being a big baby. She wouldn't stop crying they just ignored her. In the morning the doctor came round and she had stopped crying but she was just lying there whimpering god what a shame the poor thing. The doctor took a look at her and quietly asked to speak to the nurse. The went out of the ward but you could hear him screaming at her. I don't know what was wrong with the girl but the doctor was saying "you could've killed her why didn't you call me" I was moved out of that ward after that so I don't know what happened. But all this just to say yes I believe you I've seen how bad things can be.

I still even now hate going to the doctor and only when it's absolutely necessary do I go. Luckily for me now I keep reasonably good health well apart from the whole mental health bit. so I'm really sorry you're forced to go to the doctor because of your medical conditions.

 

[pixel]

Feeling pressured will make things worse and increase the way I feel.

I hope I didn't make you feel pressured! Im so sorry, I didn't mean to.

Absolutely. No. Pressure.

Of course you act when you're ready, we are here to support you :)

 

[katurian]

I hope I didn't make you feel pressured! Im so sorry, I didn't mean to.

Absolutely. No. Pressure.

Of co...

You didn't make me feel pressured. I just meant feeling pressured in general. No need to apologize.

 

[Texassam]

Yay to you for speaking your truth to the poster who suggested you were hurting yourself or risking your health by not wanting to go to a Dr or health care provider (HCP).

It seems reasonable for patients to have autonomy and choice. Your posts seem clear & coherent. What the HCPs did to you is horrible and you had no choice. Now you do. Follow your heart you will know what to do. I'm praying you decide to find compassionate HCPs. Not all of them are awful as you experienced.

Maybe starting over (moving & not forwarding any medical records) would help? Can you move & leave the area entirely? Consider maintaining relationships with 'anybody supporting your position'.

Prayers & Empathy for you.

 

[katurian]

Yay to you for speaking your truth to the poster who suggested you were hurting yourself or risking yo...

Thanks for your support and prayers.

My geneticist is really good so I'm okay with staying with them. They want me to go to a PCP for things like Chiari though, which I don't feel comfortable with. I am moving in so far as I'll be going back to school in another state in a few days. So I'll consider finding a PCP there, I suppose, and only forwarding records from the geneticist.