Medication For Sleep And Anxiety

[joeylittle]

It was doing nerve damage or something (I was using it every 2 or 3 nights out of desperation, and fear id become reliant) though because I developed an odd twitch and some weird vision problem.

Since it did work - you should look for something that is straight diphenhydramine - that's the stuff that makes you drowsy, minus all the other stuff that is going to deal with the side symptoms of an allergic reaction. In the US we can find it generic, or now re-branded as ZZZ-Quil (Nyquil without all the other stuff).

It's non-habit forming and actually pretty gentle.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I do use Sominex sometimes which is over the counter but expensive. I don't know where you are located but Cosrco had their Kirkland brand at a fraction of the cost and just as effective Someone else mentioned they have Valium to use as needed and I do too but I have had trouble sleeping my whole life so I use it more for stressful day moments, mostly at work and take a walk while I wait for it to hit.
My concern for you is drinking is more immediate and medication takes longer. In times of high stress it is easy for your mind to tell you the dose is not strong enough,take another, them bam your buzzed and so it goes.
I feel for you @mary1979 it sounds like you are going through a very tough time and have a lot of damage to clean up.
I don't know how old you daughter is but that will take time ( possibly years) if she is old enough and has a solid plan. It might be okay to let her go for a while. Only you know that. The hubby is a hard call but only you know if you have drained the emotional bank accounts of everyone around you.
Rarely is there only one person with a problem in this kind of dynamic .
You need to work on you. Do you go to meetings? Do you have other support?
Just some things to think about.

 

[mary1979]

I do use Sominex sometimes which is over the counter but expensive. I don't know where you...

Thank you for your thoughts and advice, very appreciated.

I went to the doctor, and chickened out completely, only asking for a sick certificate for the day I took off from work for a head cold.

I'm not ready for medication, I do know in myself I would become dependant and I don't want that.

I will stick this sobriety crap out a little longer and see how it goes.

My daughter is 20. It was time for her to move out, and she is employed, independent and

 

[mary1979]

And there goes my phone posting for me again lol

She is well prepared and in a lovely new home with her partner.
Its just the circumstances that I find intolerable, we have never been apart before and have always been close.

She just sees me taking my husband back after he left us as weak, I taught her this fiercly proud and independent streak so that's the greatest irony.

My heart is broken, and I'm trying so hard. Its just hard.

Thank you again x

 

[UnKnown-Self]

@mary1979

Do you mind me asking why did you take your husband back?

 

[mary1979]

@mary1979

Do you mind me asking why did you take your husband back?[/QU...

Because I never wanted him to leave.
It was the first time in mine and the kids lives that we had been cared for and nurtured RIGHT.
He is everything good you can imagine in a man and then some.
I went from door mat to princess over night.
And he would do anything for the kids. Literally.
We never argued (and this is where the trouble started) and there seemed to be no problems.

Underneath it all though was a torrential downpour of shit that we weren't dealing with.
I had major trust issues, I didn't quite believe he could be so amazing and was absolutely TERRIBLE at sharing my feelings, still am. I dont think id been EVEN HUGGED by anyone except my kids in the 34 years before I met him and my idea of love was making sure dinner was ready at 6. I didn't even know how to appreciate him.
He had an old drug habit (he was clean when we met, for 6 months before, and remained so for the duration of our relationship) I had a firm line for my kids, no one in our lives with that kind of addiction.

After we married I think he hoped my issues would settle, he didn't understand growing up in a family with no love, he'd had a wonderful mum and dad. My issues were alien to him, and I pretended they didn't exist anyway.

He thought the marriage would reassure my trust issues and that id be able to show him love back.

Wrong.

So 5 months after promising the kids and I he'd look after us forever, he gave up and left. I think he felt he had tried everything.
I thought I was being my normal me.
The kids never saw it coming and felt abandoned again (their Dad shut them out when we left him)
And he went back to his drugs.
I started drinking even more heavily than I already was.

We were both angry and resentful for a long time.
And my older children vowed never to trust a man again.

But we do love each other.
About 5 months ago a very old friend looked me in the eye and said 'mary, you are f*cked up. You dont even know what love is do you?'

It all started to dawn on me finally then. I'd pushed him away for fear.
When I told my husband that i realised this, and could now actually see and hear his side of it, he wanted to try again.
This time the right way, and with some outside support.
So here we are.

Ok that was way too long but answering why I took him back had to include why he left haha.
And I feel like I need a stiff drink now

Sorry for the novel @Alice.in.Wonderland

 

[UnKnown-Self]

@mary1979
No apology necessary and don't think you have to answer if it makes you too anxious.
If 1979 is your birth year, you are young enough to be my daughter. Not that it matters. We are both grown women walking through hell trying to find ourselves. But we have ages with certain stages. Dealing with teenage and young adult children who love us yet we feel the sting of their judgment. This passes Mary, just keep in touch, make regular calls. They can be short, it's the reaching that counts.
Is there a support group in your area like AA? Does your husband address his drug use? Are either of you in therapy?
It seems you both might be walking on a very long tight rope with no net. I know all too well the needed validation of feeling loved and loving in return.
Above all else, you need to be you number one priority right now.
How about a warm understanding hug:hug: from one who has been there instead of that drink. And while we're at it, really wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself that hug and feel the caring.

 

[Bigray79]

Thanks Alice, and I totally agree, I didn't want to go back down the self medicating route at all once...

Your an amazing person with so much strength i wish you seen what I see xo

 

[mary1979]

@mary1979
No apology necessary and don't think you have to answer if it...

You made me teary reading this at work today, thank you xxxx

I arranged a referal back to a psychiatrist at the onset of quitting drinking, I actually had almost 8 years under a psych in my late teens and early 20's, treatment isn't new to me, but things sure have changed since the 90's (yes 79 is my birth year) so far as treatment options go, there seems a lot more on offer that I can utilise.
Most of my previous therapy was CBT based back then.
But. I keep getting anxiety and backing out of my appointments. I'll be trying again soon though.

My husband and I have also commited to marriage counselling, I'm much less anxious about this, probably because I wont be the sole focus.

I attended AA support groups when I was with my kids Dad, he was the one with the drinking problem then (ahh the irony) the people were incredible!
I think group therapy is something I wont be ready to do until I can get this anxiety under control though, I feel exactly like you said, walking a tight rope with a free fall waiting right below.

And hubbys a tough nut, there's not a chance in hell he will seek help for his drug problem.
He's done it alone before, and is taking steps and making progress toward being clean again now.
I dont pressure him, half of what got us in this mess was my lack of faith in his strength and absolutely zero understanding of drugs.
He will be fine in no time, he just needs to be ready.

Baby steps right now with my daughter, I've reached out twice in the two weeks since she left but she's a stubborn shit like her Mum, the more i push, the more determined she becomes.
I'm trying to give her space, while reassuring her I'm not giving up on her.
As hard as this is, its all i can do.

I was always able to manage my anxiety in the past, and the minute i quit drinking, i was able to use those old techniques really well, my daughter leaving has thrown me though and right now I'm on the edge of total panic virtually all the time.
I need desperately to get a grip on this again NOW so that i can begin working toward the other goals.

I've learned a lot about myself here, this site is a god send.
I'm sure ill be tackling it all again like a pro soon.

Again, thank you for your support, i appreciate it, and ANY feedback immensely xxxx

I'm half glad I didn't get meds, and half totally terrified.
So overwhelming I dont know where to start, but meds are a crutch for me, not an aid, so if I can, I should try to kick this without them first.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I agree with @Bigray79

"You're an amazing person with so much strength @mary1979
I wished you'd see what I see"
:hug:

 

[Patrick44]

And there goes my phone posting for me again lol

She is well prepared and in a lovely new home with...

Dear Mary,
Several other replays mention Benadryl and it is effective to induce sleep. However, I have been dealing with PTSD and severe major depression for the past 15 yrs. Sleep has been allusive to say the least. In the past it would take 2 to 3 hours to fall asleep and would awake spontaneously with flashbacks and racing thoughts in 2 to 3 hours. My doctor prescribed a very low dose ( 25mg or 50 mg) of Seroquel an hour or so before bed. Problem solved, Seroquel has a mechanism that targets racing thoughts and induces sleep. It is much safer than ambien and lunesta as Seroquel,is non habit forming. Best wishes,I sincerely hope this helps you.
Patrick