Medication V No Medication

[Jimmy1]

Medication again

I started this thread about 5 months after ridding myself of a marijuana addiction as medication was screwing with my body. Well now I have proven a lot more.

In April 06, i just returned from Iraq. Was not coping with basic life skills. Could not handle going to work, could not handle anyone. I plodded along but was told by the Army Psych that all my problems were family orientated, not PTSD.

In Jan 07, I went back to Army Psych. Told him I no longer had a family or many friends, had a drinking problem and wanted to punch everyone who disagreed with me. He finally said I had PTSD.

Was referred to Dr John Rogers who was specialist in PTSD and was the head of the PTSD Unit. He placed me on medication and a PTSD course running 3 months later.

By this stage I was basically on permanent medical leave. I spent my time at the bar, or playing poker machines and in the evenings when my son came home from school, I spent my time smoking pot and drinking spirits.

This is the stage when my weight problem started. I went from 88 kg to 107 kg. Yes you could say that it was caused by alcohol, but I beg to differ, because, after bowel surgery in Jan 08, I stopped drinking alcohol but still smoked pot. I also took myself off all anti depressants and mood suppressants. My weight went back to 88 kg.

I gave up the pot in Oct 09. I was not coping with this, so they put me back on anti depressants. My weight started stacking on, so I signed up to the gym and go four days a week. My diet is healthy but the weight just piled on again.

I am now 108 kg again. This is more depressing than anything, so I am off the medication again and am going to persist.

Can't they invent an anti depressant with no weight gain as a side effect.

I was super fit when serving now its like everything has been taken from me, even my health. I am so over it.

Just sharing

Jimmy

 

[Nathan1]

I feel the same way you do all the time. what you have said is what I feel but can't express. thank you this is going to have to go in my journal or I will forget it.

Thank you

I feel like crap for the first 24 hours after, but the rest of the time I think is the medication screwing with me.
Don't get me wrong, when I hear the jets fly over, or the artillery on the range, or the choppers flying low, it still causes my hackles to rise. Most days I can go to the local shopping centre, I choose when though.
I still get hypervigilant and hate crowded places, but most times I can psych myself up.

These are just my thoughts mind you. I may be wrong.

Maybe I have enough of the process of CBT and it is being masked by the medication causing other side effects??

Yes, my self esteem is down and I still have no idea where I fit in society, other than being a dad, but that can be expected when the military was your life. I will eventually find something I am good at and somewhere I fit in.

Just having a blurt, would appreciate some comments.

Jimmy:confused:

 

[Jimmy1]

Your most welcome, it goes to show that we are not alone. And you know, if we were all in one room together, I don't think we would talk about it. Its just nice to know that there are other people like us.

Jimmy

 

[anthony]

Shit yer... more than we usually ever think could exist.

 

[Jimmy1]

I just finished watching X-Men, and disquietly I feel like one of the mutants. My mind has changed and I don't know how to control it. Yet.

I am off my meds, and am doing ok, but I feel a little erratic at the moment. I am not going back there. The medication made me feel worse than just dealing with the symptoms.

My worst part is loneliness. Its like I want someone to be around, but want to be left alone. Does anyone understand what I mean.

Just waffling

 

[Nathan1]

All the time!

 

[anthony]

Yep... med withdrawals suck arse, massively. It took my body and brain about six months to stabilise after being on them for years... and it was worse than any trauma therapy I did. Depression was all over the place until I finally stabilised. I do have to admit though... it is better not on meds for me, as atleast I can feel what is wrong and work on it, compared to just feeling dopey and dazed on meds, often wanting to drive my car into the next post or wall. They where some bad times...

 

[oscarmike]

Has anyone found anything other than medication to work for them in coping or reducing the effects. I don't like taking medication. Tried trazadone for a few days. Don't like the way it makes me feel. Don't want to go back to VA and try another. Has anyone one found a natural way...I tried going to school and I get overwhelmed. I tried working 6 days a week to keep myself busy enough to ignore it or keep my mind off of it. Seems like medication is always the answer. Also worried about getting hooked on some prescription. I have enough addictions as it is alreadly. Open to other alternatives and wondering if anyone has had any luck with anything other than medicine? Thanks.

 

[Jimmy1]

Mate, your damned if you do and your damned if you don't.

It's about finding a happy medium and the right medication for you. It took me a long time to find a good combination and then situations change.

There is no easy way to live with PTSD, but at least we are not dying.

The main point to remember is that you may find that after being on medication and getting therapy, you may not need to stay on the medication, but you have to start somewhere.

Colonel Charles Hoge who wrote the book 'Once a Warrior, Always a Warrior' Link Removed

said the main thing is that we don't go on any narcotic type drug like benzodiazapines.

You are going to have to do some research mate and experiment. Some medication will make you feel like crap at the start, but you will eventually get used to it.

I am on the following and it works for me.

1. An SNRI instead of an SSRI called 'Pristiq' in the mornings.
2. Catapres which is a blood pressure medication used for 'Anxiety'
3. Lyrica an anti-psychotic,
4. Valdoxan, used for stabilising my sleep patterns, and
5. Avanza an antidepressant for which the sole purpose is sleep.

Some guys are on less and some are on more and new medication and therapy is coming out all the time.

Good luck

 

[JarHed]

My worst part is loneliness. Its like I want someone to be around, but want to be left alone. Does anyone understand what I mean.

Yup, it's due in part to being off the meds. Been there too, kinda' still am. You're now in the limbo of emotions. It'll take a while to adjust. Try to find stuff that you like to do to keep busy. It can help. It's an adjustment period.

Doing something that's good for ya' like exercise or walking is great. Make a change in your diet. Try to think healthy. I know it sounds simplistic but sometimes the most simple approach to a situations can be the best and most satisfying. Just be patient with yourself and as always, one day at a time.

 

[Sludge]

I have an anti-pill stance in general, but I have to admit that a few of the drugs they had me on over the years helped immensely. Currently, I am off the pills as my Doc is using my science geek ass as an experiment. Voluntarily, I'll add.

Jimmy's post sums it up perfectly. Do your research!

They had me on Zoloft, Prasosin and Xanax all at the same time. Turned me into a shuffling zombie, that mix did. Pissed me off more than it helped. Doc took me off the Prasosin and the Xanax at my request after two months. They tried Lithobid on a whim, that shit is worthless. They wanted me to take Prosac, but I informed them I would rather do bong loads naked on the courthouse steps than even touch that garbage. There was a seizure pill that worked really really well for me, but it turned out it tends to kill people at random for no apparent reason so they took me off that. Cannot remember what it was called anymore though save that it was bright yellow 50mg capsules.

The Zoloft worked pretty for me though. Leveled me out enough over time to get back on track and use my brain to battle the Beast rather than become a pill zombie for life as is so fashionably trendy here in the States.

Just a few months back, Doc started reducing doses and frequency of the Zoloft over time until I am the pill-free bastard I am now. I am hanging in, but I still have my days. The downside is Doc makes me e-mail him every other day and visit once a week to let him know what is going on. He lets me do this only because he made me promise that the first sign of of me slipping, or "new" issues developing, I would have to go right back to eating those damned pills again.

Silly really, but that sort of reinforcement was just the kick in the pants I need to stay focused on beating the beast down into a little hole and shitting on its head with pride. I'm slowly digging a really deep hole, and stocking up on cans of stewed prunes in preparation for that day, but I am fully aware it will be a long road of hard work to get to that point. One of these years though, I'mma take a crap so big it'll be on CNN International and then post the embarrasing pics of the filth covered Beast on its Facebook page. I'l probably be in my 90s when it happens, but one has to have something to look forward to...;)

 

[vikingr12]

I have had some luck with a some drugs that are over the counter health food stuff. One is SAM/e and the other is GABA. I use both during the day. One SAM/e in the moring and evening. GABA at lunch. That regimen is quite calming. I also use 900 mg of St. John's Wort right when I get up with lots of water. It does help for a while.

When I really get anxious of course I take an Rx drug -- Ativan. I use it sparingly so I don't get tolerant to it.

At night, a drink called Neuro-Sleep helps a lot. Make sure you are ready to sleep and a little rested. Drink it. Then turn the lights off. Don't eat too much before you sleep so it gets to your system fast. It has melatonin, l-trytophan, and some other homeopathic drugs that do work if you let them.

I have been on every other sleep drug known to man. I think part of the problem is you just have to let things work rather than fight them.

But I still have my bout. I try and watch the triggers but sometimes that does not work. Your own stress level has a lot to do with it. And sometimes too much rest, sleeping during the day, upsets your sleep rhythym ("circadian rhythym"). We are after all, still apes.