Medication V No Medication

[Jimmy1]

Medication V No Medication

I was told by my psych that its trial and error trying to find the right medication, yet on the other hand am told that ultimately you are better to be on no medication. I don't understand.

Ultimately, medication screws with you liver and other bodily functions, as I am finding out more and more, but so does stress.

The last two and half years have been a roller-coaster ride for me with regards to medication.
I look back and sometimes think maybe I would be better off without any medication and just deal with the issues and symptoms as they appear.

I have been self analysing of late and have worked out that I am feeling worse changing medication, and being on medication than I do after a session of therapy.

So for a little background.

I lost my wife, was diagnosed with PTSD, then lost my career.

After just a 15 min session with my psychiatrist I was placed on Zoloft and Epilim.
This seemed to work, but only because I was masking it with alcohol and substance abuse. During therapy sessions, I would just agree and change the subject.

So I made life changes for me. Gave up alcohol 18 months ago, then gave up the substance only four months ago.
In the last four months, I have been on more medication and changes to medication than you can poke a stick at, and nothing seems to make me feel any better, realisticly, its made me worse.

I am in the middle of Exposure Therapy mixed with CBT, well that is how I understand it. She brings my SUDS levels up, we talk through the trauma, then break it down into thought structures and the logic behind it.
I feel like crap for the first 24 hours after, but the rest of the time I think is the medication screwing with me.
Don't get me wrong, when I hear the jets fly over, or the artillery on the range, or the choppers flying low, it still causes my hackles to rise. Most days I can go to the local shopping centre, I choose when though.
I still get hypervigilant and hate crowded places, but most times I can psych myself up.

These are just my thoughts mind you. I may be wrong.

Maybe I have enough of the process of CBT and it is being masked by the medication causing other side effects??

Yes, my self esteem is down and I still have no idea where I fit in society, other than being a dad, but that can be expected when the military was your life. I will eventually find something I am good at and somewhere I fit in.

Just having a blurt, would appreciate some comments.

Jimmy:confused:

 

[anthony]

Psychiatrists near only treatment option nowadays is a medication. They don't don't try and fix anything any more, they just medicate.

That doesn't mean medication is useless, as its not. Most anti-depressants will actually make you more depressed and worse than you where... go figure that one out, but the majority seem to sway upon this side of things. It is all trial and error and it may ultimately, likely even, screw with your other organs. Yes, stress does the same thing.

So... is it ok to live in a constant state of stress? No... not exactly living. I view medication like this. You use it during trauma therapy, then months after you finish trauma therapy and have stabilised, you begin weaning yourself off medication, which will then present another bout of instability.

Yes... it is often hard and even confusing to work out whether medication is screwing with you or PTSD. Coming off medication is a 2 - 3 month process in itself from the last pill taken. It takes that long before your system balances enough that you can think clearly to know what you often need to further work upon... but atleast you don't have medication screwing with you and hindering true thoughts, symptoms, etc.

Ultimate goal... no medication and PTSD managed. I still have a box of valium in my drawer, just in-case things ever get to much, but otherwise I have taught myself through education and experience how to manage myself. Every person will require slightly different methods to manage themselves, but it can be done. Every individual gets different outcomes... some will require medication for life, some will not, some will drink or smoke for life, others will give them away.... all individual choices.

 

[Jimmy1]

The other drama I suppose mate is that appointments for the psych are every couple of months, the counsellor weekly, and the GP every now and then. And the communications between them is shit.
They rely on me for debriefs and my memory is crap. haha.

Well I am determined now to lead a semi normal life and get off my meds and work on myself.

Its only when I am down and people kick me that it sucks.

 

[anthony]

Mate... you may as well get used to the reality of the entire shrink > GP > therapist communication line... because none of them pickup the phone and just talk to one another. I do get it... considering the amount of people they see though.

All you have to ever do is remain realistic and never see going backwards temporarily as the final outcome, because its not. Healing trauma and learning how to manage PTSD shifts backwards and forwards... though you will always end up more forwards than backwards longer. Usually when people have PTSD, the majority of their year is on a downwards motion. As you work on trauma and learn how to manage PTSD, yourself with PTSD, implement lifestyle changes and so forth, you begin to re-evaluate your year and review how much down you then have compared to ups.

 

[rmf3175]

Meds..........SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor)

I mean surely with all in medical advances, if the specific serotonin that is being selected acually can be selected, then why can't the one that needs to be selected (and treated) be identified, and thus eliminating the need for trial and error as far as SSRIs are concerned?

This has perplexed me for a while.

 

[anthony]

I believe it actually has to do with how the body manages it, not so much the chemical itself. The problem with dosage, is pharmaceutical companies take an average dose and apply that to everyone. Problem is, every single person is different. Whether small or large framed, tall or short, your body will require a different amount. The mentality is that the bigger the person the more drugs needed, and the smaller the less, but that is not true. A small framed person may produce more of a chemical than a large frame, and worst again, being PTSD imbalances the chemical, so how far out of balance is each person? This is what they cannot measure, hence the problem. The problem is also physician laziness.

A dose may be recommended for 300mg per day, but in fact for it actually work for x then they need only take 50mg per day. A physician though will start you on 100mg, a week later bump you up then a month later bump you up again in an attempt to put you on the pharmaceutical companies recommended dosage. Pharmaceutical companies are the last person any of us should trust.

So many people get far better results experimenting with SSRI's for themselves and going against the physicians guidelines, but instead finding what works best for them. If a drug is making you ill and the doctor keeps telling you to take it, it will pass... bullshit. No drug should be making you that ill with the premise to get better, ever. You should have minor to little side effects during the entire process going onto a drug, its coming off them you will go into withdrawals. Physicians are getting very lazy nowadays.

 

[Jimmy1]

Sorry, I have a funny story to add about medication.

Whilst deployed to Bougainville, we all had to take the standard doxycycline for malaria.
I came out one morning to find one of the females wearing a jumper and shivering when it was 30 deg C.
I asked her if she was taking her Doxy. She said yes. So I asked her how much. She said only one every two days. When I asked her why, she said 'I am not as fat as Private ..... and she has to take one every day'. Now I had a big belly laugh over that. Bloody women. hehe

As for my medication, I am glad I don't self medicate now, but I understand why people still do. They feel like shit on their prescribed medication. At least with self medication they know how much they are taking.
Yeah I know its not really logical, but I think its a good point.

Jimmy

 

[RangerB]

My meds have probably saved my life and my marriage(so far). My anger was to the point of being out of control. I was starting to worry that I was going to actually start punching all of the people that I wasnted to punch. I can actually relax every now and then, now. I was scared to start the meds so the Dr started my on an extrememly low dose. I love it now and am worried about when they try to take me off of the meds.

 

[anthony]

Ranger, meds are only a temporary solution, and should not be viewed long term. You're here, which is a damn good start to begin healing and then you may not require medication, depending on your lifestyle. If you work.... likely yes, you will require meds even after healing trauma. If not working... then you can absolutely get yourself to a point of self management without meds, without the anger, etc. You can work without the meds, but you need to do a whole bunch of work on personal skills to achieve that with PTSD, but it can be done if that is what you want. Personally, I usually advise anyone with PTSD who has to work, to be medicated for their own sake and that of their families. Healing, working and meds then typically equal a pretty good life without treating your partner like shit... which we all have at some point no doubt during uncontrolled PTSD.

 

[Jimmy1]

Ranger8,

I was officially diagnosed with PTSD only 3 years ago. Looking back now, I could safely say I displayed huge symptoms when I returned from East Timor in 2002. This went undiagnosed and was put down to marital issues and possible thyroid problems (go figure). My marriage failed and so did a lot of things in my life, but I thought the problem was with everyone else.
Once diagnosed and given a full understanding of what was involved, the medication they gave me probably saved me from making some really serious problems for myself.

At present I am off my medication and working on myself every day just to try and improve. Don't get me wrong though, it is hard and sometimes I question my decision but what is done is done for now, and there is light at the end of the tunnel, but its a long way off yet.

The hardest problem I am dealing with is ridding myself of some of the conditioning the military gave me over my years of service, and understanding that everyone else around me is not in the military and don't have to adhere to exact time frames.

Jimmy

 

[Lost kanuck]

Hey QLD,

I went through the Meds VS no Meds for almost 2 years. I have a lot of the same views as yourself, but I came to the relization that if I was not on meds, I would never leave my home! We have to remember that Psychaitrists are medical doctors, and Psychologists are councellors. It is frustrating going through the medication wheel of fortune, with all the side effects that make none of us happy. Keep marching forward, you will find something that helps!

 

[T.J.]

Wow, I thought I was going this alone. I have been on medications now for 9 years all different types to try and find the right one.
In the end they were bloody near killing me. I had become so shut off to the world including my wife, its no wonder she left.
I was only the shell of the man I used to be, the trouble is that because its happening to you- you cant see it!
My wife was treading on eggshells for so long I think she was to frightened to tell me what was happening.
I have been off the meds now for a month and a Bit, my heads clear again and Im thinking straight (I think) only time will tell.
The PTSD course I am currently on is helping me understand how and where I am in the healing process.