Messy Symptoms Again

[Pauline]

I i had therapy the other day and asked my therapist if he thought i was hurt sexually in any way as I find it so hard to open up to men i am glad i asked him this as i have wanted to for a long time but was scared to open up he suggested maybe i see a female therapist but i don't want to leave him it took me ages to built up trust also i feel relieved that i told him this but i don't know how he wants to move forward with me i self harmed afterward and my symptoms are getting worse i feel just a bit of a mess at the moment

 

[NightSky]

I'm sorry your symptoms are worse. I think mine would be as well. It's so hard to be vulnerable like that. did his suggestion of a female therapist feel dismissive?

 

[Pauline]

Yes but I don't want to change therapist I have taken three years to trust this man and I feel comfortable with him I have told him a lot I don't know if I could cope with a new therapist at this moment I want him to help me but I told him I think I was sexually hurt but can't recall it I would just like to know how he could help me further I self harmed after the session as I was in distress about it it took a lot for me to tell him

 

[NightSky]

Can you ask him what he can do to help you and explain that you don't want to start with someone new?

 

[Neverthesame]

Why do you need to change therapists?

From the way you worded your post, it sounds like he was just giving you the option.

As for how to move forward with your therapist. Why not ask him?

 

[sun seeker]

Why did you self-harm? Was it connected with what you talked about, or about the suggestion of switching to another therapist? Just not sure if this is an issue about sexual abuse or about feeling rejected, or both.

I agree that it doesn't sound like he wants you to leave, he was just making a suggestion in case it was helpful.

I have a male therapist, and we do discuss sexual abuse, but I've found it is quite possible to talk about it without too much detail and still get the point across well enough so we can work on the trauma. But it sounds like you are not ready for that yet. Whatever the cause of the self-harm, it really sounds as if you need to slow down and work on stabilizing first. Maybe talk to him about that.

 

[Pauline]

I think I self harmed because I found it really difficult to tell him that and talk to him about it because I just said that I think I may have been but I am not sure it's just a feeling I have so I was wondering what he would do with the information and how he would help me with it I've been with him for a long time and I am scared to tell him a lot because when I finish therapy I will not see him again and I've too many people come into my life and leave me I have a huge fear of abondonment with anyone I let into my life

 

[Deleted member 37579]

Well, not all men are the same. Maybe you need a bit more time to fully trust him.