Modify Thinking To Change Emotions?

[PTSD_4Life]

Thanks everyone. I probably should tell her my thoughts about it all. And how I feel like I'm being pushed too fast because it's obviously not helping me. She does note my hypervigilence is unwarranted most of the time, but also says to me that it's due to my past experiences.

And I'm sure she doesn't realize she comes across as angry to me (at least I hope not - otherwise, that would make me mad, if that were her intentions).

I had brought up to her on my last session that 2 radiology techs were arguing in front of me & making me really uncomfortable. And I was wondering what was going to happen - if they were going to yell at me again, too, or if they continued, if it might lead to someone getting hit because they were raising their voices. They were arguing about me eating/drinking in my hospital room while I was waiting for my radioactive tracer to go into my body for my special PET scan. One of them had told me that I could run & get some food & bring it back to eat it while I was waiting (since I hadn't had lunch between my hospital appts - BTW, I have cancer). The other one had already spoken sternly to me and threw away my food since I wasn't supposed to have food back there. My therapist questioned me as to why it upset me - and she said that it's OK if people argue. I told her that it made me uncomfortable and it's not OK with me - it makes me very anxious whenever anyone argues. Then she asked if I ever argue with anyone and I told her that I didn't. So, she asked if I always agree with what everyone says. OMG, this is just getting to be too tiresome.... :-(

 

[The Albatross]

My therapist says that if I would just change the way that I think, then that will change my emotions and I should be fine. In fact, she seems to get angry with me when I tell her of my anxieties and what leads me to panic attacks. She said before it happens, just change the way I'm thinking of a situation and it won't happen. But for me, it seems like I can't control it - it's automatic and just happens. Any insights? She looks at me like she doesn't get it. Why can't I change the way I think. I tell her that it's all wrapped up together, the thinking, the emotions, the response, etc.

26-28 days creates a new habit, 6 months a new behavior. At a core level, I had to admit that my way wasn't working or giving me the results I wanted hand had to become willing to attempt and commit to something new.

I read a book that described the habitual thinking pattern / preference for the mind as a horse. By repetition, the horse "thinks" it knows where I want to go when I take it out of the stable and saddle up. It takes effort and practice to ride my "horse" to where I want to go. Especially (like the retelling of events or anxieties leading to panic attacks) when I turn it back toward "home" and it bolts off at breakneck speed toward the stable... even though that's not where I intend to go. Brains aim to please, it gives you more of what it thinks you want more of.

The skill set is challenging and changing the thinking pattern and exerting enough discipline over my own thought and feelings to get where I want to go on the "horse" without it bolting for the stable. It takes practice, patience, persistence and perseverance. Sustained effort eventually lessens as the "new" more beneficial thinking style/pattern becomes more habitually used. Eventually the old pattern is no longer the default one.

It can be done, and I concur with your therapist... I did it myself. Though I still have the odd reactions now and again... my life is much improved as a result of learning the skill of riding/steering my thinking/feeling mind to the more generally beneficial places, people, situations that I'd like to go.

I also had to learn how to create a pause. In the pause between situation/reaction... I learned how to do a quick assessment to mostly be able to choose consciously a response instead of defaulting to the instinctual fight/flee/freeze/faint. It can happen. Honest.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I agree and disagree with your therapist. Yes, thoughts CAN be changed, but at the same time, sometimes they can't.

I want to ask....how bad are these negative thoughts? Do they become obsessive? I ask because everyone told me to just change my way of thinking. Yes, that's akin to telling a depressed person "just think happy thoughts and you'll be ok!" That doesn't work with someone who has a chemical imbalance that causes depression. The same can go for obsessive thinking. If people with OCD, or even "pure O" take medications to help stop the thoughts, then maybe there's more to it than "just think away the negative thoughts". Right?

I'm not saying this is necessarily your issue, but I do want to challenge the notion that controlling these thoughts just takes CBT, and if it doesn't work then you're not doing it right.

As for me, no, I haven't been diagnosed with any form of OCD, but I've always thought that if OCD people have worse obsessions than mine, I'm surprised the OCD suicide rate isn't higher. Yes, it's the thoughts that push me to the edge. It's hard as hell to fight my way back.

Someone who is able to change their thoughts in 28 days just can't fully comprehend how bad the thoughts can be when there's something chemically imbalanced in the brain----and you try your hardest to change but just can't when the obsessions get that bad.

Anyway, as to the Klonopin----my doctor told me that class of medication won't help the thought process. I am on Ativan and he said he's not surprised that it doesn't help with anything other than numbing.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I have been diagnosed with OCD and the biggest way it affects me is with intrusive thought patterns that spiral out of control, that I cannot change and do their utmost best to not give me a moments peace. I am not medicated for it as I have an aversion to medication but I would say that there is no way in hell I could change my thoughts, some patterns pass on their own over time (for example I spent several years thinking I must be a pedophile for having changed my sisters nappy and applying rash cream, these thought became very intrusive and graphic and disturbed me deeply - this still comes back and I worry over it for weeks or months but less now than I used to) and some do not and I'd rather not talk about those but I just wanted to agree with Solara and to say you may find this very useful to bring up with your therapist or if nothing else simply your confusion at her comments.

Also, sometimes trauma specialist or not, some people just simply don't get on and it may be that your clashing over this is an example that perfect in theory doesn't always mean perfect in practice. Good luck

 

[intothelight]

If any of us could "just change" our thinking patterns, then their would be no need for therapists. :) However, with the right tools, practice and a lot of hard work, thinking patterns can be changed. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a means to learn to change thinking patterns and your therapist should be providing you with the tools and the encouragement you need to do this.

Changing thinking patterns does drastically reduce symptoms and improve the quality of life. Is it 100%, no....but even if it is 40%, 50%, 60% etc. that is a huge benefit. Each person has to find what works for them, but there are things that have a proven track record and work to some degree for everyone. Ask for the tools, put in the work, and then see what the results are.

Just my .02.

 

[Valentino]

I think this article below might offer a useful perspective of overwhelmed fight/flight survival instincts. Some techniques and therapies will work for some, but won't work for others. If your nervous system is still very sensitive and overwhelmed, it might be more useful to try more physical body techniques that are grounding, self-soothing, calming, relaxing, restorative, etc. Mental techniques that modify thoughts and thinking could be helpful, but only after the nervous system is in a more stabilized state.

This is from a recent post on the Autism Discussion Page on Facebook. Autistic brains are easily overwhelmed by stimulus, and have many commonalities to PTSD symptoms.
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Freeze, Flight, Fight Response to Overload!
You cannot force a brain to process faster than its wiring allows. Many children on the spectrum have delayed sensory and informational processing. Regardless of how bright the children are, they have difficulty processing multiple stimulation (information) simultaneously. This tends to (1) slow down the processing speed, and (2) overwhelms the brain if information is coming in too much or too fast. Our world tends to move way too fast for most of these children. Their brains are easily taxed and overwhelmed.

This is why we do not want to push, pressure, or force the child. More than likely they are still processing the information (demands) do not understand what is expected, or feel inadequate in performing what we are asking. When we "push" too hard the brain becomes overwhelmed and panics. The wiring cannot handle being pushed faster than it can process. We cannot force it to process faster. The brain shuts down and "freezes." For some children this is easy to see. They will stop, stare off, and sometimes get glassy eyed. The brain is trying to "halt" and process, before moving forward. We may see that and continue to prompt the child to move forward, often because we are in a hurry. If we continue to pressure, the brain usually attempts to escape and avoid, by further "shutting down" to rebound. We often consider this as being "noncompliant or oppositional". We then turn up the prompting, often physically guiding the child, or become louder and more demanding. At that time, if the brain is not allowed to escape, it may meltdown and the child acts out. Then we the blame the child for acting out and further label him as "defiant and oppositional."

Let the child pace the learning. We need to slow down, work with the child, and let them pace how fast we provide them information, and how fast they are expected to respond. Many children require 10-20 seconds or longer, to process information before ready to respond. Be respectful, slow down and allow them to process. If they "freeze" or do not respond, do not push or pressure, give time and support.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I was misdiagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder when younger because of dissociation and PTSD, the diagnosis has now been corrected but it helps me understand a lot of where it all comes from. Good article @Valentino!

 

[PTSD_4Life]

Thanks again everyone. She does say that I have OCD, as well.

Every time I drive, I go thru the same anxiety at lights.

However, the panic attacks/anxiety that I have just comes on randomly or I guess by triggers. For example, seeing someone acting aggressively or someone that always uses sexual sexual innuendos, or certain smells or the way someone carries themselves can tip me off.