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More present now very depressed

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Sometimes things are worded way more complicated than they need to be. I’ve experienced both and an example is when I would get up in the morning and look in the mirror, it didn’t feel like me it was like I didn’t recognize myself and I didn’t feel real. It was weird, but that was during the worst of my trauma.
 
You are doing an awesome job of explaining.... and you ARE smart !! You are here, asking questions and trying to understand what is happening to you... not only are you smart, you are very brave. It's hard to open up and let others know what is going on.. especially when we just can't seem to get ahold of it... you are doing awesome... we understand. you are supported and you are not alone.
 
Pdoc?

Oh primary care lol

I go once a year for my meds. I was just at the doc for that danged uti.

I'm not explaining this very good. I wish I was better at finding the words.
 
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Oh primary care lol

I go once a year for my meds. I was just at the doc for that danged uti.
Are you on antidepressants or anything prescribed by a Psychiatrist? Whoever diagnosed your PTSD might be able to help you figure out what’s going on.

I'm not explaining this very good. I wish I was better at finding the words.
You’re doing great! I’m not super knowledgeable on all of this stuff so don’t be afraid to ask questions. We’re all learning on here and we’ve all had different experiences.
 
When you get down to where they talk about women and traumatic events it sounds familiar.

And fact is I have the amnesia too. I have blocked out quite a bit of my abuse.

Dead Link Removed

Here this one is alot better

Dissociation FAQ’s
 
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I had never heard of dissociation until I got diagnosed. I think of it as my emergency brake. I get too deep into something and screech! Suddenly I don't remember what I was talking about

The better I get at avoiding the break the harder it gets to face it and the more upset I become...So I feel ya!
 
When I'm more present, I think about the bad things in a different light. I feel embarrassment, shame, disgust, revulsion, distress, at the events that litter my past, in a very clear and aware sort of way. There's a lot of baggage to deal with, a lot of things to cope with.
 
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