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Mother can’t talk or move suddenly after a major heart attack. Can you help me worry less? Or something?

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She’s still alive, if anyone’s wondering. They’re going to transfer her over to a rehabilitation center in a couple of days. She’s sad she can’t come home. She misses her cat. And being allowed to walk to the bathroom by herself (which she wouldn’t be able to do at home, either, but let’s ignore that).

The social worker person helped us discount the medical bill from $154,000 down to $17,000. And that might become nothing with more discounts and government charity. My mom hasn’t been told this and I’m going to keep it that way.

My mom’s bills are now my bills. She has over 600$ a month of bills. I get paid 600$ a month. So. That’s cool, I guess. I’ll figure it out.

My grandma told me to tell her if I need anything. I’m a little worried about that. I don’t feel like getting into it.

Accidentally canceled my therapy appointments without meaning to. I forgot about them. I’m not being fined by the organization because I have never missed an appointment before and also have a “good excuse.”

With extra time to myself, before my mom returns... I might gut the house.

I’ve discovered that most of the hoard is just trash. Scottie helped me realize that it looks like my mom literally organized and rinsed off trash for my brothers to take out, but they never did. They refused to care for her.

I showed messages from my diary to my therapist (not in person and not by sharing links) and she located exactly where I got triggered. It turns out that something someone said to me in my trauma diary triggered me to the point of literally believing that my mom was trying to hurt me. That’s why the feelings stopped when I took a break from this website. So I’ve edited my goals to include my mother.

Don’t feel like you need to stay in this thread or anything, @joeylittle, but I just wanted to thank you for your advice to clean spaces until I’m comfortable. It was the most realistic advice — not that anyone was trying to hurt me or that they were responsible for my reactions or anything. (I’m pretty sure it was good advice anyway, just that I was triggered. Not their problem.) And it made me realize that my mom was overwhelmed. Sucks that it involved us teenagers, though. But whatever.

I’m glad she’s getting a lot of visitors at the hospital. Although I really wish it was my dad who had a stroke and heart attack. I bet he even wishes he’d have one for the attention he’d get. I wouldn’t visit him everyday like I do my mom. Maybe once when my grandparents asked me too, maybe not though. I don’t really like that guy.
 
Sorry for rambling. I’m tired and I still haven’t finished my homework or that email about a professor’s fake service dog (don’t ask)
 
Depending on age... mom's 28-30 day rehab stay was 100% paid under her medicare. My brother was wise to make the decision cuz ultimately mom got a better outcome, and her transition back to home went easier. Glad you're posting and wishing for highest and best outcomes for you and your mom. It is good that you recognized your mom was rinsing and organizing trash/items to be discarded. That is encouraging!
 
She’s still alive, if anyone’s wondering. They’re going to transfer her over to a rehabilitation center in a couple of days. She’s sad she can’t come home. She misses her cat. And being allowed to walk to the bathroom by herself (which she wouldn’t be able to do at home, either, but let’s ignore that).

The social worker person helped us discount the medical bill from $154,000 down to $17,000. And that might become nothing with more discounts and government charity. My mom hasn’t been told this and I’m going to keep it that way.

My mom’s bills are now my bills. She has over 600$ a month of bills. I get paid 600$ a month. So. That’s cool, I guess. I’ll figure it out.

My grandma told me to tell her if I need anything. I’m a little worried about that. I don’t feel like getting into it.

Accidentally canceled my therapy appointments without meaning to. I forgot about them. I’m not being fined by the organization because I have never missed an appointment before and also have a “good excuse.”

With extra time to myself, before my mom returns... I might gut the house.

I’ve discovered that most of the hoard is just trash. Scottie helped me realize that it looks like my mom literally organized and rinsed off trash for my brothers to take out, but they never did. They refused to care for her.

I showed messages from my diary to my therapist (not in person and not by sharing links) and she located exactly where I got triggered. It turns out that something someone said to me in my trauma diary triggered me to the point of literally believing that my mom was trying to hurt me. That’s why the feelings stopped when I took a break from this website. So I’ve edited my goals to include my mother.

Don’t feel like you need to stay in this thread or anything, @joeylittle, but I just wanted to thank you for your advice to clean spaces until I’m comfortable. It was the most realistic advice — not that anyone was trying to hurt me or that they were responsible for my reactions or anything. (I’m pretty sure it was good advice anyway, just that I was triggered. Not their problem.) And it made me realize that my mom was overwhelmed. Sucks that it involved us teenagers, though. But whatever.

I’m glad she’s getting a lot of visitors at the hospital. Although I really wish it was my dad who had a stroke and heart attack. I bet he even wishes he’d have one for the attention he’d get. I wouldn’t visit him everyday like I do my mom. Maybe once when my grandparents asked me too, maybe not though. I don’t really like that guy.
Just curious but did they check her for blood clots?
 
Just curious but did they check her for blood clots?
Yeah, and they have her on medications to prevent them from what I understand.

She has been transferred to the rehabilitation center. We had a birthday party with her in the hospital room. It exhausted her but she managed to eat half a slice of cake (the nurses have regulated her blood sugar) and a good amount of her birthday dinner with one bite of each type of side.

She seems okay. My friend Scottie and I are cleaning out several rooms now so that she’ll be able to move around safely without too much effort (or danger), so she’ll be able to move around here too when she comes back. Previously she was using the piles of trash to hold onto to get around, but obviously that’s not very stable. We’re making sure she can use her walker to get around instead, and I’m making sure that things are low enough that she’ll be able get help if she falls.

I’d sort of really love to train a service dog for her, except that I really can’t train more than one at a time. My current dog is already trained to be alert and on-guard if someone falls, so I might just expand her training lightly to just helping people get up if needed? Since I leave her at home when I work now (I work in the food industry at the moment). But maybe not, I don’t want to confuse a service dog by having her do TOO MUCH work probably. ?‍♀️

I’m rambling because I’m tired, the point of this message is at the top though. You can ignore the rest probably lol
 
Little update

My mom is home now and I’m taking care of her.

She’s displaying all the symptoms of heart failure. My sister pointed out that her medications’ side effects explain the issues she’s having, but I’m not satisfied with that, so I’ve got her seeing a doctor tomorrow. My sister is taking her there. My bird is deathly ill and I’m taking her for a check-in appointment tomorrow.

Sucks because I can’t seem to sleep. Too much going on in my mind. I’m numbing it with internet videos but I don’t think dopamine bursts are gonna help. If anything they’re making me feel a little isolated.

My coworkers seem to be a little afraid to talk to me lately. I think I understand why but it is hard to convince my irrational brain. ?‍♀️

Anyway. I’m still emotionally prepared for my mom’s death, I guess? She’s hanging in there.

(Is that weird to say? I’ve seen a lot of people die, I’m just trying to accept that things are hard sometimes. She’s currently okay though. Sleeping in the other room. Her room. She’s having enough trouble breathing that it wakes her up occasionally, and her feet are swollen, etc (other symptoms of heart failure) but I was advised to not take her to the emergency room yet by the doc over the phone. I don’t trust that but apparently I do enough to play along.)

Does anyone want to go to the beach with me? At least Dorian didn’t take my house. That’s a plus going on right now.
 
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