Mother

[Star76]

My mum left my sexually abusive dad 6 weeks ago. Today she tells me that because I won’t tell her details of my abuse that we don’t have a real relationship. This really hurts as I have tried so so hard to nurture our relationship with her despite that fact she stayed and didn’t believe my allegation against my dad when I told her a year ago it also feels as though our “relationship” has strings attached. She then goes on to say that it would’ve be easier for her to go back to dad when I tell her fine do that I won’t have anything to do with you she says “you don’t care then” and when I do give her a example of my abuse e.g location she says “that can’t be true and that it seems contrived” I love her so much and this feels like a massive kick in the gut. Just to add my dad has also been domestically abusive towards her. I just feel so so alone as though I have no one.

 

[blackemerald1]

Hey Star - it sounds like you are having a really tough time right now and so is your mother.

Do you have anyone in your life that can help you, support you and talk through what has and is currently going on?

 

[Friday]

It might help to try and think of her not as your mom right now, but someone who is completely f*cked in the head. A hot-mess of a battered woman who has just left her abuser and is alternatingly lashing out in displaced anger and attempting to deny anything ever happened / it wasn’t that bad... all tangled up in grief, abuse, and trauma.

The whole “don’t take it personally & don’t try and talk sense & don’t take shit” Supporter-Anthem when sufferers are symptomatic and acting badly.

It’s almost impossible not to do all 3, but it will save you a lot of grief when you can manage it.

 

[grit]

Maybe she wants to use your experience against him now that she is out of the relationship.