Hi,
Id like to share my accident story here, because this might be my first chance to be understood about it.
I had been riding a 550cc for 2 years. I did a really long course and paid a lot for the lisencwe when I was 28. One evening I was riding home from work, it was raining but it rains a lot in my hometown, so im customed to taking it slower on circumstance.
I went on the highway, and immedietly after a tunnel there was a sign that said: Roadwork, 60 km speed limit.
The thing was that there was only one other car at this section when I approached, a few 100 meters behind. The car was driving a lot faster than 60 km, so i felt in controll of the situation.
Then suddenly, the car in front performes a critical brake, im pretty sure it was because they noticed the sign way to late.
Now the car is very close to me, so I start hitting the brakes but I was to hard. My front wheel sled bcause of the haevy rain. Right before, I though that now im either gonna hit this car or take the fall. So fall it was. and I sled down the highway with the bike over me for 150 m. I think my speed was around 60 km pr hour. I used my elbow in a panick, and permanently damaged it, without doubth. Then i freed myself from the bike, rolled over and watched the bike slide another 50 m. Some rode-workers actually saw me there.
I first got up and checked that my head was whole and that my arm werent broken. Silly, I know know because adrenaline will cheat you in accidents.
I was so shocked that I just laid out flat on the highway for about 5 min. Then I got up picked up my bike and secured it beside the road. Just at this moment the police arrived. They heard of a situation and would check it out. I was really confussede at the moment but used effort in explaining everything was ok, and that I was just gonna drive home. No need for medical exams, im fine! Look the bike is also fine...well it was not fine.
But they let me go home. So I went to a cabin and fell a sleep. since i dindt get a medical exam, i might say that I luckily woke up the next day. I had been sleeping 15 hours.
Thats the story, but the real story is how to cope.
And truth is, I dont cope. There was from the start a feeling that something had changed radicaly inside. Life was not the same. And know I hoped the world would understand. But my world didnt. Instead i alianated myself from everybody my age. Two reasons, the first is that I always hated the idea of being a burden, so therefore i have only shared a little of the experience with like 2-3 people. the second reason, I have strong need for understanding about this, but people dont and therefore I have a hopeless feeling of not being understood. And this is because of a very real situation not some general consern one could have, at all.
So I hate to have this expectation of others, and it keeps dissapointing me, and strengthens my isolation.
I think it is like this with rough experiences. Other people really cant relate. And then I start hating people for having a lot of insignificant problems. Of course I know that my problems are not the worst, and that there is a lot of people who really suffer , and deserve a lot better.
