Moving And Getting More And More Anxious That Was An Easy Fix.

[KwanYingirl]

my move is set for the 16th. If you recall, my neighbor put a curse on my house so it wouldn't sell. A lot of people said it was his way of telling me he liked me and I was a good neighbor, but I was shocked by it and just wonder WTF was his motivation for that. So it took forever to sell the house but since it's been under contract my basement flooded, last week it happened again and I had to have a new sewer drain put in. My front yard was dug up and it cost a lot of money. My neighbor was a jerk about the digging close to his driveway and he was just a total dolt. I was so anxious that the buyer would pull out, but she didn't. Then yesterday I woke up with no heat or hot water.

I also got fumed out by furniture stores off gassing formaldehyde and Fire retardant.

I'm am just getting more and more anxious. I try to pack and then I just get overwhelmed and go to bed. I need the next 10 days to fly by. What I notice the most is my hyper vigilance. Who will my neighbors be, is the area safe, how will it be meeting new people. I just want to go into a coma and then wake up when it's all over.

I swear I'm having a heart attack. My body is just so disconnected. Why does everything end up being a crisis? I should be packing but I just don't do it. I have this dread that I did my math wrong and settled for too little money and the sewer disaster ate up my contingency money and I'll be at my closing without enough money.

Annie knows something's up. She doesn't leave my side. Ugh, I just want it to be over.

 

[bell]

Start with an easy mindless task. Do it. Then move on to other tasks until you're done.

I.e., move, however slowly, so you can use the time you have instead of panicking to finish at the last minute.

And, if I remember correctly, you chose to do this. You chose to move. Therefore, do something productive and mindless so that you aren't paralyzed.

Spend your energy on that so you don't waste your energy trying to change things you cannot change.

Also, what are the chances you are making everything a crisis because you're addicted to the "drama" of it? It's easy to get addicted, but well worth it to stop the cycle, because fussing over what needs to be done robs you of the present and makes everything worse.

In my mind, from what you are sharing, you and you alone are creating drama out of things that happen to all of us. Stuff with houses happens, weird neighbors happen. It's life, not necessarily drama. I'm not trying to criticize, just saying that some serious reframing of things may fare you well.

 

[arfie]

Whether I am moving myself, my guitar and my little backpack to the next stop on a road trip or selling my house and dealing with the full ownership monty, moving is stressful. All the wonders of what could have been... What should have been... The angst of uncertainty of what is coming down the pike... The sheer exhaustion of the grind... Gonna use the "N-word" here, KwanYinGirl. Situation "Normal." All fouled up! SNAFU in US military speak.

And if your neighbor is that good at curses, can you send me his name and address? I have some business to discuss with him. Alas, my gut goes with the folks that are saying it is an emotionally retarded expression of his admiration for you. I know I sure hate losing people I like. I believe I have even teased one or two that I was going to put a curse on the enterprise that was taking them away from me. I wonder if you ought to go have a talk with him. Sounds like you could use a friend, emotionally retarded, or not.

The 16th... Less than 2 weeks before you get to move into the decompressing phase of decorating the new place.

 

[desiderata310]

@KwanYingirl Moving is stressful for people who DON'T have PTSD. For someone who does, well. It SUCKS. BIG TIME. Just remember to be gentle to yourself. It's going to work out and curses don't REALLY work. Not really. If they did, really bad things would have happened to a lot of bad people already. Don't fall for it. You have enough good energy to counteract any negativity from your neighbor anyway.

Deep breaths there, lady. You're doing fine. Just remember to keep it simple and easy and while I know it's not easy, don't think too terribly much. This stuff all has a way of working itself out.

Keep moving forward and remember that by this time next month you are going to be in a lovely place next to the beach. You've got this.

 

[StellaBlue]

I can't remember if you have done some DBT work or not...but VITALS is helpful for me when I need to plow through something.

 

[desiderata310]

@StellaBlue I just googled this. Interesting!

 

[KwanYingirl]

@StellaBlue i am learning DBT a little at a time. My therapist keeps my workbook at his office and he picks assignments for me that don't trigger me. I will look it up. Thank you.
@desiderata310 thank you for your confidence in me. I know how lucky I am to be living at the ocean. The air will be so healing for my chemical issues and out of six units in the building, I know four of us are single women. I was abused by a man I had a brief romantic relationship but ended that and allowed him to rent a room from me. He was just horrible just everything about this house has been difficult. Maria Taylor has a good song titled "Clean Getaway". It's my current theme song LOL. Just got home from yin yoga and my anxiety is much less now. My daughter will be Thursday. She is very organized and helpful.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@bell you have perceptive insight. My ex was always telling me to chill out, that if I didn't have a crisis to solve, I'd create one. So, yeah, I own all that. Repetition compulsion? Just a thought. My anxiety has chubby little legs that run circles around me. After yoga tonight I am more settled energetically. My therapy session today was me unable to tie two thoughts together. Thank you for the advice.

 

[Chava]

Moving would be so exciting, but I know I'd be a wreck too. I've thought of selling my house but it would take years (rural), so I feel trapped, even though it's like I'm trapped in a small, pretty monastery. Sorry for all the stress you're having with this. Whatever helps you keep the stress level below max. I'd help you pack if I was in your neighborhood because I'm a spatial geek. All of my neighbors are super introverts (perfect!). Do you know much about the area?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Yes Chava. It's only 5 minutes from where I currently live. I'll be at the beach which is awesome. There is much conservation land there and it's a small Chataqua community. Many opportunities to get involved but all the activity pivots on the church there So it doesn't help that I'm in an existential crisis. Regardless I tuck myself away. Even at yoga I get there early to set up in the corner of the studio.

 

[Chava]

It sounds beautiful! I can't get too involved in my rural community unless I go to the bar or church (neither work well for me). But where I'm at is beautiful and quiet, and sometimes I have to remind myself how important that is to me (the city rattles my nerves, though I'd love more opportunities to connect in my quirky ways). I love corners (facing exits).

 

[KwanYingirl]

@StellaBlue I studied the VITALS skills and I've been more effective in getting stuff done. I printed out the flash cards. So many useful strategies in DBT. You know, I've been rejected from joining two DBT groups. They say I don't fit in. So I'm limping along learning skills as I go. Thanks for the suggestion.