Interesting conversation. However, what strikes me as sort of confusing is one hand saying that a person needs a professional to diagnose- that self diagnosis is dangerous and not advisable; and the other hand is saying that doctors like to pile up separate diagnoses for reasons of personal gain such as pharma kickbacks, steady insurance billing, etc. I couldn't agree more with the second hand. I think -at least nowadays- most docs are quacks who listen, document, treat, and prescribe selectively- because they paid for a degree and they can. If only I'd been born with a silver spoon *sarcasm*
Personally- I know me better than anyone on this planet. I practice discernment when it comes to what I'm thinking, feeling, behaving- and come to my own conclusions about what is truly wrong with me and what my diagnosis/es are from my mental illness to physical health issues. I've heard everything from schizo NOS to Borderline.......and run away fast when these labels are suggested in my case.
I've had the unique experience of gathering all of my own medical records for disability. I was naturally dismayed that my GP failed to share with me serious cardiac issues, elevated liver enzymes, and other critical test/imaging results. I've also seen complete fabrications and incorrect notes in my psyche charts. I tried to cut my RIGHT wrist....it took six stitches to close it up. However- the shrink put down that it was a slight scratch on my LEFT wrist. I'm pretty sure a slight scratch is quite different than slicing into one's veins with a razor blade. Not to mention I also tried to cut my right carotid with a dull pocket knife. WTF? Did she get her degree from a gumball machine? How is my next provider to get an accurate picture of my mental landscape if the first guy doesn't do his/her job properly? How can my doctor imply that my SI/SA is not in any way a serious issue?
As for schizo tendencies? I don't have audio/visual hallucinations. I have NOT been visited by aliens, nor do I think the government is spying on me. I don't talk to people who aren't there- except when in my creative, fantasy mode. But, still, I can separate reality from BRAD PITT! Seriously? In my case, I don't get how the doc came to the delusional aspect of the schizo spectrum.
Isn't it natural to be paranoid about getting hit by another driver if every time you climb into a car you get in an accident that's not your fault? This is totally allegorical.....but, still, I've had a lot of people in my life treat me like $hit, so, naturally I have a slight persecution complex. But, to say my thoughts contain delusional material implies to me that sharing the horrors I have experienced are not taken seriously or as fact- therefore I can't trust my shrink to believe me. Great way to provide validation......right?
My strengths? I have proper social skills and try to put myself in the other person's shoes and see things from their point of view. I try to be positive, cheerful. I don't interrupt; but, strangely enough, I am constantly interrupted by others. As for unconventional behavior or beliefs? What may be culturally acceptable for one person or gender may be unacceptable to another. We need only look to Sharia Law v. Democracy to drive home THAT point.
As for PTSD, I'm not sure that this is the worst end of the spectrum. I think PTSD may be somewhere along a continuum of Anxiety Disorder w/wo dysfunctional affect Fx. By no means does PTSD alone necessarily manifest the disordered identity and self-esteem aspects as someone with say.....DID or Borderline Personality Disorder. Let's take Anthony for example: He has PTSD, by his own account. However, from my perspective, he seems to have no issues with his self esteem or identity. In fact, unless he says otherwise, he seems brilliant and very self assured. This is why I'm of the belief that mentally healthy adults cannot develop CPTSD, Borderline, or DID. It is just not possible. Yet- the latter, definitely have an anxiety component.
The defining criteria that separate CPTSD from PTSD are identity disturbance and self esteem issues. This naturally puts CPTSD more severe than PTSD on the spectrum just by virtue of its complexity. A singe traumatic or even several traumatic incidents as an adult are NOT going to be as severe as a child of trauma.....period.
An example: A happily married, successfully careered, emotionally well adjusted fireman isn't going to suddenly develop CPTSD from seeing too many burned bodies and death. He may have severe PTSD, but not CPTSD. His healthy identity and self esteem are established at the developmental level and are not destroyed- so the elements that define CPTSD should not apply.
The same can't be said for someone like me. Or, trafficked children, children born into poverty/gangs/bullying environments/war zones. I was traumatized just by being born premature and enduring painful procedures. Then came interpersonal violence from toddler hood on and continued until I was 39 by various different people. This destroyed my identity, self esteem and the ability to individuate and understand where I end and others begin.
Because of my protracted history of being victimized- my identity and beliefs about myself and the world around me have been been damaged to the point that DID would be a natural fit. My most recent therapist intuitively and empathically suggested it was MY decision if this Dx was to be applied. This would be a competent therapist- in my opinion. This is a therapist that allows the patient to participate in their own treatment and is not on some sort of power trip or has an agenda related to personal compensation
In no way do I want to come across as not understanding or minimizing another's suffering. Suffering is subjective anyway. But, criteria is criteria.....and empirical data is indisputable. I simply can't see an emotionally healthy child growing into an adult with DID or CPTSD. The genetic predisposition may be there, but the early childhood environmental mediator isn't.
