Childhood Mums lawyer telling dads lawyer about sexual abuse perpetrated by him

[Star76]

Hi,

My mum left my sexually abusive farther 3 months ago and they are in the process of getting a divorce (I am 20 years old) My farther is a psychopath which is a term I don’t use this term lightly

Now my mums divorce lawyer wants to tell my dads lawyer that he sexually abused me and my dads lawyer will tell my dad. I don’t want him to know that I am talking because that puts me is so much danger from him that no one seems to be understanding mum says that it’s not just about me and so she will get her lawyer to tell his just to get what in reality will be a bit more money from him.

Another big concern of mine is I’m worried he will take me civilly for slander if he knows I’m talking because long story short I disclosed he was sexually abusing me last year and then my mother didn’t believe me and I perceived I was in to much danger from dad so I retracted. So although social services and police do and always have believed me I’m still concerned because of the initial retraction

I would really appreciate someone else’s input especially into whether I’m being unreasonable by not wanting dads lawyer to know? and about whether my concerns re him taking me civilly are valid

 

[Teamwork]

No you’re not unreasonable. Tell police and social services that the lawyer will be told. Both should give you good safety measures. If they don’t, then outright ask them.

 

[scout86]

mum says that it’s not just about me and so she will get her lawyer to tell his just to get what in reality will be a bit more money from him

Some of this depends on where you live. Laws differ, as does the odds of being believed.

I don't know how much actual danger you're in. It's pretty common to feel like disclosing this kind thing is super dangerous. Usually, it's not, literally, dangerous. But it can be. For sure, talk to the police and social services. It's about more than your mother getting additional money too. It's about your father paying for his crimes. It's about other potential victims too. But it's also about you, and your safety and welfare.