Music In The Background?

[ButterflyBean]

Short, sweet, and to the point. My therapist and I have reached an impass. I see her once a week for 90 minutes, and we have been trying to get in touch with my feelings. (You may remember my post about needing reassurance and the popsicle sticks). Because of my physical limitations, I need another outlet that does not involve words or writing, or anything physical (eg. drawing), to tackle the preverbal aspect of my trauma. We decided to try music in the background because I need something to break the silence, so I don't have to think about keeping the conversation going. I figured out that touch is a good form of reassuance for me, but that can only go so far due to the nature of the relationship and boundaries of course.

So, my question is, has anyone used music in their therapy sessions? Any ideas about what might be soothing? My therapist suggested a particular CD of lullabies, but I am having trouble purchasing them through Amazon directly. I have never been a big fan of classical or instrumental music, so I am trying to think outside the box. I usually listen to Christian or country, but that doesn't seem appropriate for connecting with feelings and slowing down the mind... I know what I don't like, which is why this is so difficult. I'm not a big fan of meditation or guided imagery either. I'm having a rough night for reasons that don't have to do with therapy, but any other suggestions are welcome!

 

[Friday]

I usually listen to Christian or country, but that doesn't seem appropriate for connecting with feelings and slowing down the mind...

Not only does it sound totally appropriate to me... But since those are your genres? Your music? Music you already connect to on an emotional level? You know the songs / know which songs inspire which moods.

My suggestion would be to make some playlists inspired by moods.

As a reminder... What's "soothing" depends on what mood you're already in. They tend to be (for me) either 180 degrees from my current mood, or just a few degrees over, instead of smack dab in the middle of the mood.

LOL there's a reason we listen to Kerosene, or Before He Cheats... (Get your anger up) when we're sad about a breakup & not just the tear jerking broken hearted songs!!

That might be strength songs if you're feeling crushed, hopeful songs if hopeless (180 degrees), or sad / wistful songs if you're wracked with grief (a few degrees over), or deeply _______ songs if you're trying to connect with that _________ emotion (smack dab in the middle of).

Having playlists by mood gives you some control in session as well. Flooded? Switch from that mood-list to a different one.

For some reason "The House That Built Me" (Miranda Lambert) & "Blown Away" (Carrie Underwood) are both springing to mind. Both about homes & childhood, in remembrance moods, but the oomph behind them is in very different ways. ((LOL. Although possibly because of the breakup songs above are the same artists!)).

 

[Seasounds]

Everyone is different. The best thing I know to do is to find pieces of music that evoke an emotional/feeling response FROM YOU. What works for you may not work for me.

If you remember, songs through your life may have brought you moments of joy or moments of sadness; there is a spectrum. There may be some feelings that need more support to be expressed: anger, sadness, joy.

You might try radio channel surfing on the radio, going to a movie, etc.

Especially when I have lost a love, most sappy music makes me cry. Can you remember moments like this?

Christian and country music spans the emotional expression, as do most styles.

Here is an experiement: just hang out with music and notice how it affects you; be open to what you notice. Opening to feelings is a process that takes time and safety.

 

[Kintsugi]

If you think lullabies might work well, you can try Pandora. I put a station on my phone for my niece, and I'm pretty sure I just typed in "lullabies" and chose one of the stations listed. I recommend buying a premium subscription, though, as commercials would be a big mood killer. ;)

I've recently gotten into looking up Chinese music for sleep to listen to when I want to try to Zen out a bit. They're very relaxing, even though I'm a fan of rock in general, and they're very... unassuming? They're quiet, undramatic, not over stimulating--you get the picture, I'd say.

Will you keep us updated about this? This is a very interesting idea to me.

 

[Chava]

You could look on youtube or somewhere else under "ambient" music, or possibly "minimal." Lots of crap, lots of good stuff. Some people like the sound of singing bowls (I do, but it's hard to find recordings I like...I prefer bringing a singing bowl with me!). Maybe you'll find something that feels right. I have a lot of pre-verbal or non-verbal stuff (like I just can't open my mouth or speak). Luckily for me, my therapy is body-psychotherapy for trauma, so touch is okay and there are sensible ways to make that okay. But also, I know sometimes bringing a very soft blanket or stuffed animal to hold helps. But music is calming and also structuring, and I understand how it could make the silences okay (I think great if your therapist is okay with some silence....I had one who seemed threatened or irritated that I would be so silent sometimes, and I felt like crap for it...current therapist and form of therapy works for not having to have words all the time). Sounds like a good thing to experiment with...I love searching for new music. Hope you find something that helps.

 

[DogwoodTree]

I usually listen to Christian or country, but that doesn't seem appropriate for connecting with feelings and slowing down the mind... I know what I don't like, which is why this is so difficult. I'm not a big fan of meditation or guided imagery either.

I was going to suggest some brain-waves type music (which you can find 8-hour segments on YouTube for free) until I read this part. You might still like it, though...here's one I like:

And here's a bubbling-water video I love to have in the background:

That said...along the lines of Christian music...there are some pretty good groups out there for slow-but-contemporary worship or connecting with emotions. A group like Tenth Avenue North or Sanctus Real might have songs with lyrics that help you connect with your feelings. Or maybe look into groups that do lengthy, meditative-type worship services, called "soaking". IHOP (Kansas City) and Bethel (Redding, CA) both have stuff like that, along with a bunch of other groups, either with or without lyrics.

 

[ButterflyBean]

Sorry I haven't gotten back to anyone! I'm having a very rough time right now. We haven't listened to music in session yet, but my T did give me a copy of her lullaby CD. Turns out my grandma used to sing one of the songs to me when I was very little. This is still very much an exploratory area for me, so I will keep you posted as much as I can. Thank you for all of the suggestions! I really appreciate it!

 

[Rosewater]

If you find piano sounds soothing, then I'd recommend both "Music for Airports" by Brian Eno (the original "ambient" music, but much more soulful than that indicates) and a cd of Chopin's Nocturnes.

There are plenty of times that each of these has kept me sane during the last year. A good pianist playing the Nocturnes can evoke so much beauty - there's an excellent and inexpensive collection by Elisabeth Leonskaja on iTunes.

 

[Gadgie]

I used to like listening to music, but every song I hear reminds me of my late wife, as we used to like the same kind of music, (oldies from the 50-60s)

So if I play it in the house now, I keep low, as background music, I tend to listen to the radio more often now, mostly radio2.

I've started listening to talking books now, as I find that very relaxing.