My therapist says my fears and background don’t make sense?

Roland

Platinum Member
I was molested by my dad when I was three. He continued to be sexually harassing such as grabbing my butt, kissing, hugging, constant touching, making comments, etc.

To my knowledge, nothing else happened sexually besides that sort of thing. But I had and have an intense fear of being raped. When I was like 10 or 11 I watched a show at a neighbors house that was some kind of true crime thing where it was talking about women and children getting abducted, raped, and killed. It messed with my head so badly that I was terrified the rest of the summer that there would be men hiding in my room going to pop out and get me. I avoided going to bed. I was afraid my dad would rape me, and that if I started my period, I would get pregnant from rape and no one would believe me.

When my husband and I have sex, I sometimes get very afraid he would rape me (this one being completely just triggers, he would never, I always have the choice to say no or stop him). I don’t say anything when I get triggered though because with my dad if I said no he was more harassing. With my husband, and my ex, I feel almost like I should always consent so it would never be rape, or something like that, I can choose to say yes, where if I choose to say no I could still be violated…

My therapist basically said this doesn’t make sense. She said “Why would I be that afraid of something that hasn’t happened to me?” and implied that perhaps more shit happened that I blocked out (which is entirely possible since I don’t remember too much). But I’m kinda clapping back, because if your dad is essentially raping your mom everyday, and he molested you, and continuously to you and your sister crosses boundaries and sexualizes you, isn’t fearing he could rape you relatively understandable?? I’m taken aback by her reaction.
 
I also thought fingers weren’t enough, which that’s a hard one for me because sometimes I think that happened to me and sometimes I don’t. I don’t think most people understand these definitions thoroughly.
There's a whole class of preferential pedophiles whose thing is to digitally rape infants and toddlers through the leg hole of their diaper... in public / populated places. Christenings, holiday parties, birthdays, theaters, zoos, etc.

It's one of the things that drives me crazy about IDIOTS who bring their children around known pedophiles "But we never leave them ALONE with them!" <<< At which point I get far more graphic than I am, here. They can literally be standing right next to you, or be in front of a whole crowd/congregation >>> Although what's more alarming are the parents who don't want to "be rude", or whatever BS excuse. Some people aren't even fit to raise a fuss, much less raise children.



My therapist basically said this doesn’t make sense. She said “Why would I be that afraid of something that hasn’t happened to me?”
Apparently she's never heard of anxiety disorders, specific phobias, OCD, etc.??? None of which require there to have been any sexual abuse, at all. >.<

She mentioned that she may refer me because she knows someone that specializes in sexual abuse and those issues that go with it,
That's great!
 
There's a whole class of preferential pedophiles whose thing is to digitally rape infants and toddlers through the leg hole of their diaper... in public / populated places. Christenings, holiday parties, birthdays, theaters, zoos, etc.

It's one of the things that drives me crazy about IDIOTS who bring their children around known pedophiles "But we never leave them ALONE with them!" <<< At which point I get far more graphic than I am, here. They can literally be standing right next to you, or be in front of a whole crowd/congregation >>> Although what's more alarming are the parents who don't want to "be rude", or whatever BS excuse. Some people aren't even fit to raise a fuss, much less raise children.




Apparently she's never heard of anxiety disorders, specific phobias, OCD, etc.??? None of which require there to have been any sexual abuse, at all. >.<


That's great!
Oh yeah, I can’t believe that too. Especially people that were abused by their dad and then “forgive him” and allow their kids around him. Like yikes.

I guess she really pidgeon holes herself into single incident ptsd xD

I’ll update this post, but my concern is the other therapist doesn’t do emdr. I’m not really interested in talk therapy, because I’m just not much of a talker.
 
"Why would I be that afraid of something that hasn’t happened to me?"
This is very silly. Something bad and sexual happened to you, it is natural to be scared of other bad and sexual things happening to you.

If I was in a car and had a car crash, I'd be scared of getting on a plane and having a plane crash. They are very different things, likelihoods and mechanics, but not so dissimilar. Both have people responsible for the vehicle who, if they do the wrong thing, can result in harm coming to you: from being very shaken up and minorly injured, to dead and destroyed.

If I got in a car crash and escaped only injured, I'd probably be scared of getting in a car crash and the car exploding too, even if the driver was my brother, who I trust, who won a medal for best and safest driving in the country and never had any road mishap in his life.

If I get bit by dog would I be an unreasonable fool for being scared it might maul me, or that other dogs could do the same? I think reasonable people would understand that I'm automatically wary of their dog, even if it is gentle and has never seemed threatening to me. I might even like that dog, but I know the teeth would hurt.

I could go on forever.
 
This is very silly. Something bad and sexual happened to you, it is natural to be scared of other bad and sexual things happening to you.

If I was in a car and had a car crash, I'd be scared of getting on a plane and having a plane crash. They are very different things, likelihoods and mechanics, but not so dissimilar. Both have people responsible for the vehicle who, if they do the wrong thing, can result in harm coming to you: from being very shaken up and minorly injured, to dead and destroyed.

If I got in a car crash and escaped only injured, I'd probably be scared of getting in a car crash and the car exploding too, even if the driver was my brother, who I trust, who won a medal for best and safest driving in the country and never had any road mishap in his life.

If I get bit by dog would I be an unreasonable fool for being scared it might maul me, or that other dogs could do the same? I think reasonable people would understand that I'm automatically wary of their dog, even if it is gentle and has never seemed threatening to me. I might even like that dog, but I know the teeth would hurt.

I could go on forever.
Yeah it’s not really all that different
 
Update:

I had therapy today, she said that the reason why she said some of those things were more that maybe I was minimizing what happened to me. To her what I said and what I’m afraid of/triggered by don’t add up, so it was either she doesn’t know something or I don’t know something OR that it’s a completely irrational fear. Which are dealt with differently.

But I realized my husband and I need to work on some things and lay some groundwork before I start EMDR. So I took her referral to do that and intend to go back to her after for EMDR. She said she does work with complex trauma but I’m think she sees mine as more single incident or something. Maybe I did minimize stuff idk.
 

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