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- #193
Changing4Best
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My boss did a weird thing this week. We had the October birthday party for everyone with an October birthday, and it was the bully's birthday this month. Normally she gives a piece of cake to each birthday person and it has a candle on it and the person makes a wish and blows out the candle. Then she usually asks the guy who leads exercise to lead the HAPPY BIRTHDAY song, but since he was out delivering Meals on Wheels, she asked ME to lead it! Like is she crazy, or what? She knows that the bully is not willing to speak with me. She knows that I have been upset by his bullying, teasing and picking on me (before he wrote me off and stopped speaking with me) and I have also told her that I was told that he hates me. WHAT WAS SHE THINKING!?!
Well, I did what I had to do. She is my boss, and even though she used a sarcastic voice when she spoke my name when she asked me to sing it, I did so. I thought the word BULLY in my mind, as I said his name in the song though, because his name is Bill and BULLY is so similar that it occurred to me that Billy and Bully only have one letter difference in their spellings.
One friend of mine, when I told her this story, thought that my boss had malicious intent by asking me to do this. Another thought that maybe she was hoping that he and I might reconcile. I have no clue what she was thinking, but since she called me "Miss" Sheila when she asked me to sing it, and she has never called me that before, I had to wonder, especially since she said the word "Miss" with a bit of sarcasm in her voice. Just a bit. Not dripping with it or anything, just enough so I would catch it and maybe no one else would. I am not sure. I have not discussed it with anyone who was there, and I won't be discussing it there or outside there either with anyone who was there either.
However, my therapist told me that writing is a great tool and to use it often, so that is what I am doing here. Writing this! I am curious as to my boss's intent upon doing this. CURIOUS at a 9 or so! I just don't understand it. If she had malicious intent, I forgive her. If she was hoping for a reconciliation, well, we sang the HAPPY BIRTHDAY song for me too, and I got my candle to blow out, but the bully sits right behind me, like maybe 3 feet away from me. He did NOT sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me. I did NOT hear his voice. So if she was hoping for reconciliation, it did not happen is all I can say.
Well, I did what I had to do. She is my boss, and even though she used a sarcastic voice when she spoke my name when she asked me to sing it, I did so. I thought the word BULLY in my mind, as I said his name in the song though, because his name is Bill and BULLY is so similar that it occurred to me that Billy and Bully only have one letter difference in their spellings.
One friend of mine, when I told her this story, thought that my boss had malicious intent by asking me to do this. Another thought that maybe she was hoping that he and I might reconcile. I have no clue what she was thinking, but since she called me "Miss" Sheila when she asked me to sing it, and she has never called me that before, I had to wonder, especially since she said the word "Miss" with a bit of sarcasm in her voice. Just a bit. Not dripping with it or anything, just enough so I would catch it and maybe no one else would. I am not sure. I have not discussed it with anyone who was there, and I won't be discussing it there or outside there either with anyone who was there either.
However, my therapist told me that writing is a great tool and to use it often, so that is what I am doing here. Writing this! I am curious as to my boss's intent upon doing this. CURIOUS at a 9 or so! I just don't understand it. If she had malicious intent, I forgive her. If she was hoping for a reconciliation, well, we sang the HAPPY BIRTHDAY song for me too, and I got my candle to blow out, but the bully sits right behind me, like maybe 3 feet away from me. He did NOT sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me. I did NOT hear his voice. So if she was hoping for reconciliation, it did not happen is all I can say.
