My C-ptsd Makes People Feel Uncomfortable

[PerfectlyFlawed]

People shy away from me and tell others that i am 'wierd'

this is embarassing because I cannot help it! :(

Then I tell them the reason why I act the way I do...And they run away! It scares people that I was victim of crime (domestic violence from 08-09 and attempted rape in 2012)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Yes, I've had this experience, too.

Sometimes I feel like I'm damned if I tell, I'm damned if I don't...(damned if I do, damned if I don't)

I wish I had some advice....

 

[PerfectlyFlawed]

Yeah, it's awful!

 

[Shellbell]

I've always called things like 'kooky', 'quirky', 'endearing', 'special' - all code for 'not normal'. And all I wanted was to just be 'normal', but clearly I never have been.

Now I've told people I have PTSD some people are avoiding me. I can't help feeling upset about it.

I agree with ScaredOfLonely that it is a risk telling people, but then if I don't people - they will wonder why I have changed in the last 6 months with all the severe PTSD symptoms.

It's definitely hard.

 

[Spiderallis]

Like Shellbell, I was never 'normal' either. Before I understood that the symptoms I worked so hard to hide were PTSD, I wasn't hiding what I'd been through to cause them. Somehow knowing the cause first seems to make it easier for those 'average' folks to understand and accept what makes us a little different. I've got my world divided in two- people who know, and those who I don't want to tell.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

And this is why I do not tell anyone I have Ptsd. Been there, done that, sick of it and choking on it. People just are uncomfortable with reality. Denial is rampant. It is a huge shame. But education takes 2 generations I heard to become effective.

 

[Zef]

I'm over 40 and my trauma started very young. I have spent most of my years trying to appear normal, sometimes quite well. It is my greatest regret. All of that time and energy hiding who I am will never be recovered.

While the hiding has provided me some good things, mostly material, it has also cost me my health, physically and emotionally. Being rejected and not normal is painful, but if I had a chance to do it all over again, I would gladly trade all the time I've spent hiding for that rejection and pain.

 

[saffy]

I have found that too.

I am 46 and wore this mask for so long now I do not know the real me anyway. I know I am doing something to make people shy away or not want to get closer than aquaintences but I cannot figure out what it is.

I am thinking that they can see this mask and think I am not genuine, which in a way is right. But I need this to appear emotionally stable. It normally ends with me looking like I am too nice, therefore there must be an alterior motive, or I end up a doormat and people take advantage.

Where in reality I want people to accept me and avoid any confrontation. I just want people to see me as caring and likeable adn someone worthy of their time and love.

It can be a vicious circle really especially when you do not know you are doing it until it was too late.

If I could change anything now is I wish I was more assertive about my own needs and feelings instead of brushing them aside and focusing on making the other person happy no matter what in the hope they might actually like me for the long run or see me as a worthy person. Normally any relationships last a few months then they are off. Or I develop a sudden rush of confidence, open up to them and then they run. No idea how to behave or think now. :(

Best wishes everyone

Saffy

 

[PerfectlyFlawed]

Apparently, my face changes...I get the look of death over me...And I guess most have never been through a traumatic experiene before.

 

[KatB]

Now I've told people I have PTSD some people are avoiding me. I can't help feeling upset about it.

I agree with ScaredOfLonely that it is a risk telling people, but then if I don't people - they will wonder why I have changed in the last 6 months with all the severe PTSD symptoms.

It's definitely hard.

It is difficult to explain to others what you have been through, esp. if they are your family members. My c-ptsd has been showing a lot lately and it has made me even more reserved because of the immediate idea of judgment and stigma.

 

[Shellbell]

It seems to be that really no matter what I do or don't tell people - the situation is awkward.

Those who do know a lot about the trauma and PTSD - don't understand it and feel awkward and don't want to upset me, but inevitably do, often unknowingly saying the wong things, and often invalidating how difficult this all is.

Those who know I have PTSD but don't know why - just avoid me, or inevitably awkwardly ask me 'how are you'. Which of course is the one thing I don't want them to ask me.

Those who don't know anything as I've chosen not to tell them - probably think I have just disappeared, as I no longer socialize, go to Church etc. And on the odd occasion I do see them, they avoid me too.

Plus, I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, or awkward, or get emotional in front of them, and I have anxiety issues, plus I struggle to talk to anyone, so I just avoid people all the more. And it just gets worse.

I understand why mental illness is isolating.

 

[saffy]

Those who don't know anything as I've chosen not to tell them - probably think I have just disappeared, as I no longer socialize, go to Church etc. And on the odd occasion I do see them, they avoid me too.


Hi shellbell
I havent told anyone, I feel they would never understand or think I was either making it up to get attention or exagerating. By not saying anything though they have no idea why I behave this way. Its a hard decision and sometimes I think I will but when it comes to it I have all these negative emotions. I also fear regection and abandonment.

I really hope things work out for you and hopefully you have at least one person you trust enough to confide in.

Best wishes
Saffy