My Damn Dog Died.

[Bill Dickerson]

I was doing pretty good doing repair work on my house then my dog finally got to where he couldn't get up anymore. Regretfully I had to put him down.

Unfortunately it was a set back for me. I only get along well with my dogs and kids. They both love you unconditionally and accept you for who you are warts and all.

It was real hard it felt as though I was betraying my friend. I also had some flashbacks sitting on the floor of the surgery of all of the kids I have seen die. He was a big dog so the vet was going to have trouble lifting him so I took into the next room and placed on the cold metal tray of the autopsy table.

That brought back bad memories of all of the kids I placed in the morgue. Never could shake the feeling of a small body still warm being abandoned on the tray in the cooler. It goes against all instincts.

It was bad enough I lost my friend I didn't need the flashbacks too. Makes me angry with G-d.

I made the mistake of watching the Jesse Stone movie where he has to put his dog down. I kind of relate to the character. Life has made him hard, unhappy, and unable or unwilling to share. The dog part just brought all those feeling that were hiding rushing back to the surface.

 

[Philippa]

Gosh, that's so sad Bill, and it must have been a hard decision to make. I guess he lived a good long life though.

Sorry it's causing bad memories to surface though. I don't know what it's like to leave a child at a morgue, though I did recently have to collect my cat who was only a bit over a year old from the vet morgue, after she died while I was on holiday in Bali. I'm also having lots of memories surface of her, so you're not alone there. The empty feeling and sorrow is something I am dealing with at the moment as well. I'm the same in that I prefer animals and kids to most supposed "adults".

I'm considering getting another cat at some point, though not just yet. Have you considered getting a new dog...when you are ready that is?

 

[cavy]

Am sorry to hear you had to have your dog put down. A lady once told
me "it is the last kind thing you can do for him".

Having flashbacks on top of that must be terrible. I am glad you posted on here, the support you get is really good.

Life can be harsh sometimes & it can be so overwhelming. Best wishes.

 

[cavy]

I have got another dog but I could not do it immediately. It was the right decision for me, my dog is so supportive. Knows when I have flashbacks etc. & gives unconditional love.

Take time to grieve & trust your instinct. You will know what to do when you are ready.

 

[Toria]

I'm so sorry Bill - it's the hardest, kindest and bravest decision that any dog owner had to make. A friend of mine had this under her profile on a forum once:

“We who choose to surround ourselves
with lives even more temporary than our
own, live within a fragile circle;
easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps,
we would still live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only
certain immortality, never fully
understanding the necessary plan.”

 

[Mlle. Victoria]

I'm so sorry to hear this . . . I can only repeat what others said, as I've not had this experience myself. My best thoughts.

 

[ms spock]

I really feel for your loss of your dog Bill. Big hugs if you want them. It is a hard time for you right now, as well as the other stuff.

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

I am so sorry for your loss and pain.

 

[Britt.f7]

So sorry for your loss. I've had to put down a few of my pets over the years so I understand how difficult it can be, especially when you are right in the room. They look so trustingly towards you. Just know that you did what was right for him.

I'm sorry about your flashbacks. I can't even imagine, especially at a time like that. My heart is with you.

 

[Flyaway]

Sorry to hear about this... I'm sure you need time to grieve, but I hope you take time to do some actions that support life (self care- eating fav. meal etc.) so you don't stay in a place where death is so prominent on your mind.

 

[Bill Dickerson]

The pain is still there but I have picked up another puppy. It was more for my other dog who was grieving and lonely.

She wouldn't stay outside for long when she didn't have company. She clung to me a lot which was OK but I couldn't replace the friend and playmate she had.

She would even stay outside with my cat and the cat doesn't even tolerate the dog very well. She was very lonely.

She has taken to the puppy like it was hers.

 

[mamachick]

I know the pain of having to chose this kind act and letting go. I lost my Max in 2007 and cried for months everytime someone mentioned him or I thought of him. He was a collie and still to this day, if I close my eyes and reach out, I can feel his long thick mane. I am so sorry for your loss. Having the flashbacks is awful on top of this grief. He has crossed the rainbow bridge to doggie heaven.