My Daughter Got Beat Up By Her Husband Last Night While She Was Asleep

[Deleted member 12723]

Well it has been far too long since I was on the forum. I got my laptop back from the service center today and it cost a little less than the price they quoted me.

So far her husband has respected the order. She is getting sick alot from the stress she is going through even thought I spoke with her this morning and she was having a good day.

My daughter had to go to court yesterday to file the papers for the restraining order and to get her papers stamped. He is staying away from them and I am so thankful for that.

She went and applied to welfare for some help getting an income. The girls are doing well and the little one is not crying anymore like she was.

Tommorow my daughter will come and visit us and I am looking forward to that. It is so good to have my daughter back. I will go over to their house on Sunday afternoon and get to visit with the granddaughters.

I am feeling nervous about her upcoming court date on the fourth of March. This will be the first time she will see him since it all happeded. I hope she will be really strong and take good care of herself. She said the courthouse is very well guarded.

She still has to file for divorce. She has been very busy running around and is getting sick alot from the stress, but she is sleeping good.

I have been going crazy with my laptop in the service center, for so long. It has been very hard and I ended up watching alot of tv. I have been having her call me in the mornings every day so I do not worry. It is very hard to go through this experience. I never want to see him again ever.

I am guessing the judge will decide when he can come over to collect the rest of his personal belongings. She said she would pack him up and put it all in the garage. He has a junk car in their he was in the process of restoring. I hope he gets that out of there too. It is a huge mess in the garage.

So far he has not cut off her hospitalization, for her and the girls and as far as I know he has not cut off the phone bill. He is paying for my granddaughters phone to be on.

I have sure missed you all so very much. Next week is coming so fast. Hugs to all of you.

 

[safenow]

Girl, you have been so missed. Welcome back. I'm glad it didn't cost too much, and that you and yours are all safe and sound.

 

[71nothing]

Welcome back gizmo! So relieved to hear updates that continue to be positive! We've missed you around here!

 

[winterose]

Glad things are moving foreword. Welcome back, gizmo. Happy to see your again!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you guys for all of your wonderful support. I sure have missed all of you so very much. Your support has been keeping me going and I have been trying not to horrabilize. It is very hard. That is why I have my daughter call me every morning.

I will be so nervous on the day she has to see him in court. I am pretty sure he will have a lawyer. This guy is so scary.

Good for you anni in getting away. I am so amazed so many women go back to their abusive husbands. That is so messed up. They are the worst sort of control freaks and only get worse each time the woman goes back.

I cannot wait until my daughter files for divorce. It has been exactly two weeks today since he beat her up.

I hate the guy. He is very scary. I am really proud of my daughter and I need to tell her more about what a awesome woman she is for breaking away from him. Hugs to all of you. I sure missed you all and your wonderful support. It is so good to be back.

 

[anni]

Ditto on the Welcome Back, Gizmo! I have such a teeny amount of time I can carve out to be here every day, but gosh, it's awfully important time. " Horriblize ", SUCH a great term, gotcha! It's exactly what happens without others to balance the head, gosh.

I was only able to ascertain that being shoved down the stairs for the rest of my life was not the way it's supposed to be because of the solid childhood my parents provided. I can't personally claim an ounce of wisdom, proof of which is the majority of the idiotic decisions marking my path through life. The way OUT of all of them was always, 100% of the time, because something in my head said 'Um, those folks over there? Your parents? What THEY said, ninnie.' I was just plain lucky. I'm not saying your daughter was ever a ninnie ( that's just my part of the post ), but she was able to call on the dignity you gave her as a human being which told her that nope, this isn't going to happen. It's just nice, that's all.

We ALL hate the guy. Boy, would hate to see him wander in here looking for a sandwich huh? Wouldn't be enough left of him to make one. :D

 

[intothelight]

Giz,

I am so glad to hear that you and your family are doing well. Yes, you should be proud of your daughter for following through as leaving an abusive situation is so hard. Unfortunately, it is not something that a lot of people understand.

I hope your daughter has a lawyer as that will be critical when setting up maintenance and dealing with visitation and other issues pertaining to the children. Even though she will not have to deal with him as a husband, she will still have to deal with him as a parent and that is where it gets tricky. A good attorney will help her to protect her own interests while protecting the interests of the children.

It is a tough place to be in, but the further out she gets, the better it becomes. When you no longer have to walk on eggshells 24/7, just that relief can make all of the hassles worth it.

Deb

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you anni and Deb for your support.

Deb, the children are not his. There will be no visitation. He has no legal rights to the children.

My daughter came over. She said she does not know how much she will get from welfare. She has a alot of paperwork to fill out.
She said the bills are piling up and she just got her car registration. He is not paying the mortgage like he was court ordered to.

She is nervous about seeing him in court. I will be so worried on that day. She spoke to the lady from domestic violence and she offered to go to court with her. She gave her some tips on how to handle herself in court. She does not want to get a lawyer.

I found out that it costs five hundred dollars to file for the divorce. I guess I will pay for it. She seems to think that he is enraged over the loss of his guns. I sure hope he gets some jail time and gets convicted.

I will go to her house on Sunday.

My husband did fine when she was over here, but now he is having delusions. I think he got agitated and confused by what we were talking about. He is upset about the clothes in the dresser. He said someone was putting clothes in the closet so he also had an hallucination.

He is lost. He said he is sick of being confused. I do not blame him.

My daughter was completely controlled by him. It was really bad. She married a stranger. She is exhausted from the stress she is under.

Her best friend came over this morning and will go back this afternoon to borrow her printer. I am glad she has her. When I go over to her house on Sunday I will write her a check for her car registration and some spending money.

She has a job interview tommorow with the police department for a part time job as a dispatcher. I hope she gets the job, I do not know what she will do about the girls. It is going to take a long time to get her life back together.

It is going to take along time. I feel sick about what she is going through. She did say it is nice that she does not have to walk on egg shells anymore. I feel so sorry for her. She is doing what she can. I will feel better when I see her on Sunday. We can talk more freely when my husband is not around.

He is getting very attached to me now for help with so many things.

I hate her husband. The more she tells me about what was going on the sicker I feel. He had total control over her. I sure hope he gets convicted and does at least some jail time.

I am feeling pretty down today. This is all so overwhelmning. He still has not cut her daughters phone off yet. She said it is because he still wants to moniter her. This is going to be so expensive. I sure hope she gets the job. I will feel so much better if she is working with the police department.

My heart just breaks for her. She has all of the bills in her name and no income. The mortgage is in both of their names. I do not know if this guy wants revenge or not. There is so little we know about the real him. He is a complete stranger.

I will offer to pay for the divorce. I think that will be alot better for her. I cannot wait until the divorce is final. She seems to think that he will contest the division of property and she will have to go to mediation. She does not want to see him. She is afraid of him.

I need to lift my spirits. We are going through the money fast. I am glad we have it. She said welfare will not pay her enough to live. She said she still has food. She went food shopping right before this happened.

I will feel better when I see her on Sunday. I am really afraid of her husband. We know so little about what is going on with him. I am so grateful he is staying away. It is still a dangerous time.

 

[SweetPeaandSunBird]

(((Gizmo)))
I'm so pulling for you and your daughter. What strength it takes to push oneself away from a relationship like that. I'm so glad your daughter has you. Best for better days and continued perserverance.

 

[nursenurse]

Hi Gizmo,

I am so very sorry for what you are all going through. What a tangled web we weave with some of our choices. My daughter's biological father threatened us in every way, and had the capability of carrying out his threats. I finally told him one day I was no longer afraid of him during one of his many abusive phonecalls. That I knew my rights, and that I had sought legal counsel both from the police and a lawyer, all while shaking in my boots. When I finally eyeballed him in court some time later, I saw him for the slimeball weasel he really was, with all due apology to the 4 legged furry weasels in the world :)

Court is probably her safest place, I would hope, but honestly, I still think of the old saying that someone who represents themselves in court has a fool for a lawyer. I know your daughter is smart, but she needs some legal counsel on her side. If she can't afford someone, I would think that any woman's shelter would be able to refer her to one that would work for a discounted fee. I hope she reconsiders.

It is a long, hard road. But I remember the feeling of being free. Even though I was in debt up the whazoo and a single parent to boot. I would not trade that for anything. You guys have each other, that is the most important thing in the world. The majority of weasels, er, men, that are like your daughter's soon to be ex posture a lot, I hope this is all that he is doing. It is not surprising that he isn't paying the court ordered mortgage, being an angry little weasel, doing what weasels do best, weaseling out of obligations.

Easier said than done, but try not to worry too much. I doubt he will be able to do any physical harm in court. And the minute he violates any conditions or threatens your daughter, she needs to stand firm and involve the authorities.

Prayers and many hugs your way. It will work out. I hope yoour hubby settles as well, I bet the lion in him would be just itching to get out and nail the weasel. Hopefully the law will do it for you :)

 

[anni]

I know, Gizmo. It's a ton-load of a lot. The thing is, most of it really is already done, it just seems all the more overwhelming because there seems as if it's never-ending. I can just tell you ( as can others ) that you do eventually look back at this dreck with detachment. It hasn't been a matter of being able to make sense of any of it, or even really heal through some of it, more like unhooking the trailor. It gets further away in the rear-view mirror, too. This is just me, what 'worked' for me. After allll the terror, fear, trauma and outrage I did do therapy, am still there. But. After awhile you get awfully tired of engaging this stuff as a regular part of your universe, healing or no, and say 'Enough'. Your daughter will be free eventually, as will you. These hemmaroid wipes don't get to own us forever and ever and ever, swear.

Boy, the job as a police dispatcher would be awesome. Those folks are a little picky about anyone trying to push people around right under their noses. It'd be funny to see him try, huh?

Many prayers, much hugs and Peace sent your way for all.

 

[ISupportHer]

Just now seeing this. It's awesome when I see so much support extended to each other here. Sorry that you and your daughter have this to deal with but awesome that you have the support here.

Of course, I too wish you the best and will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

ISH