Well, that was very nice of you Gizmo. Please ( please... :) ) feel free to tell me to shush if any long posts start to fray your nerves ( ie get annoying or intrusive. ) No one here would possibly blame anyone for wishing to kind of withdraw a little into some SILENCE, or at least a little quiet. I'm quite serious when I say it's been awfully, awfully good for me to watch this 'revisionist' history of what was up for me in the past, replayed in your life with your daughter just plain keeping her head. I'm so sorry it's taking chunks out of her emotionally and no doubt physically. Just please know it would be much tougher without the support she has, bottom line.
Hmm, it really does sound as if there's some 'inside' support for you folks and this Richardhead will genuinely have a LOT tougher time getting his point across than he believes. Well heck, they always, always believe they have a 'case'. In the old days, the stupid system tended to listen. Mine? I can look at it and ( almost ) laugh since it was SOOO off-the- wall, but I had a judge tell me I had to ALSO sign the ' I promise not to abuse this person " order. You know why? Because the judge was worried this would be picked up by the local papers ( the ex was a very important person, just ask him. Oh wait, he's still dead, you can't. ) and the ex's career would suffer by the bad publicity. He was a surgeon, yes, I suppose the knowledge that he'd been tossing his wife down flights of stairs after drinking entire bottles of Jack Daniels might put a dent in things, huh? OR, could have saved some lives. I spent the next 10 years being contacted by malpractice attorneys, no lie, did I know where he was? Ohhh I don't know, go ask that judge.
JUST a story to lighten the day, since 'mine' ego-maniacaled himself right off the planet. I do not wish harm on anyone, it did make me feel better just because I do not have to look over my shoulder any more, ever. The point being, even if they don't use a coke-spoon and a Jack bottle to dig their grave ( he got ALS eventually, treated his body horribly, cocaine and a fifth of Jack a DAY ) these guys DO implode, give themselves an awful lot of problems to the point of having to fade out of your life.
Here's a wierd story, since you pray. I don't believe horrible folks go poof- right to Heaven without some kind of Nice-Dead-Person school, you know? No one had heard from this drip for a couple of years, just kept hoping he'd stay away. One day, I was working in my parent's attic, not thinking about him at ALL, all of a sudden ( this is completely, absolutely true ) I smelled VERY strongly, HIS aftershave/cologne, and cigar smoke. SO, so strong, freaked me OUT, gosh, I thought he'd gotten into the house, was a wreck. No one anywhere, it hung around for awhile, too. So, so upsetting at first then for some reason ( honest ) I got kind of peaceful, it was wierd. WELL. Not long after, a woman called me, she'd been trying to track me down to tell me he had died. She knew there was a daughter and ex-wife, she was a nurse from where he died. The day he died? The day I was working in the attic. I'd forgotten some of this until Mom reminded me.
My point is, that I'd actually been praying daily for this awful person to be just handed the heck over to God, body, soul, mind and spirit, please FIX him, set the re-set button, please turn this person into who he was supposed to be before whatever it is in him 'broke'. Something maybe worked, is the thing, for that person to have been able to come around peacefully that day. If you're too close to that Richard in your life, I'll have a shot at that prayer, handing him over to God, asking for a change in perspective. ( Not for a change in scenery, hee- do not mean asking God to please have him for a neighbor! ) Who knows what could make a difference, no harm in asking.
Plus, as ever, prayers for Peace for you and your husband and of course that lovely daughter and her children. XXOO
Calijean, do not mean to ignore you. It would be far too easy to say 'Kick him out', gosh, I know with that kind of violence it's not always possible. I hate to have anyone follow too much 'Pop' psychology, but he really isn't. I looked at it, and Dr. Phil has some links to awfully good resources plus an awful lot of really good advice in staying safe while making the break from these abusers. I actually wish I'd known, or thought of some of this, way-back-when.
Please let us know how you're doing, and if it's possible keep logging in here. There's just no better resource for information or support anywhere on the internet, bottom line. DO take care, and much hugs and prayers your way.
