My Dreams Are Trying To Tell Me Something

[Jnean]

Last night in my dream, I wanted so much to take this cat that I knew away from it's owner because she wasn't taking care of the cat well. Didn't even have food or litter. The owner wanted to give it away but instead of taking it like I wanted, I got food and litter for her. The owner was in a wheelchair and just couldn't take care of her cat anymore. Symbolizing feelings I have for my own disabled mom and questions I may need to ask to heal but I hope not. I'm scared to talk to my mom about having flashbacks about my father possibly sexually abusing me from age whenever to 7,8,or 9. And then her friend from age 9-13-14. I can't remember much. Wonder what tonight brings.

 

[Powder]

What if you don't need your mom's help to heal? If she was there and didn't protect you at the time, why would she help now? I'm not telling, I'm asking.

Even if she were not around at all, you'd still need to be in a position to heal without her.
Sometimes healing takes into the parts of ourselves that make the least sense, and I DO want validation, NEED it.

I know that with my first couple of years of flashbacks to child trauma, I cried and cried and waited for my mother to come rescue me. She never did. Even when real people came to help me, I initially rejected the idea of them helping because, I suppose, my inner/traumatized children wanted their mother's comfort--nobody else's.

My T. said that overally, I need to save myself. Nobody else.

But be vary careful who you share yourself with in a healing journey. Support is good, but unlike kids, we can rely on ourselves to do quite a bit for ourselves.

Take care, dreams for me signaled that trauma memories were about to surface. Get into some positive coping supports.
Here is one I have used: http://pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm
I hope something might help you.

 

[Whirlwind]

dreams for me signaled that trauma memories were about to surface.

Me too, the intensity and frequency are a big heads up that something is coming - some revelation. Do you have support in your life? I would caution you to look into outside/objective support (school counselor? Not sure your age) and coping mechanisms. Flashbacks and surfacing memories are not to be underestimated, they can really tear a person apart. I'm speaking from my own unfortunate experience, I fell into the rabbit hole and almost didn't find my way out. Some days, still not entirely certain I am out....

Take care, Whirlwind