Relationship My fiancé has c-ptsdi try so

[Hairboss]

hi there,
My fiancé (retired veteran) has recently had his diagnoses changed to cptsd..... we have been together for 9 months. Throughout this this time I have witnessed a wide arrange of emotions with him. Lately it has gotten bad, his triggers seem to be everything. We got a puppy in Feb in hopes of training him to be a therapy dog, however because he is not house broken (sadly my fiancé is not as attentive to the dog as I am) his fuse is short tempered and now want to get rid of the dog after a costly investment. He has said for the past few months that he is in a rut.... drinking more than “normal” and all sense of intimacy is lacking. I try so hard to defuse any potential stressful situations. I feel like a ghost and when I try to communicate my feelings he turns it on himself.

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi, and welcome!

I know I’ll get some flack for saying this, but getting a service dog at the beginning of treatment isn’t advisable IMHO. A dog takes a lot of time and effort to train, so it’s best if we work on ourselves at first, learning skills and such, before bringing a dog into the picture. Maybe a dog would help him....in the future. It’s probably a good idea to re-home the dog as the dog is just adding to his stress right now instead of relieving it.

Is he in regular therapy? Seeing a psychiatrist? Taking medication?

 

[littleoc]

Therapy dog? That takes quite a bit of training. (I assume you aren't meaning a service dog.) Very consistent training, and a stable environment.

Getting rid of the dog isn't very nice for the dog either, and what I'm seeing here is that both of you were desperate for him to have some symptom relief.

But a therapy dog can't cure, treat, or assist with PTSD (especially untrained and not housebroken) when the human hasn't been trained in any way. The human needs to go to therapy, get some type of exposure therapy, and learn how to manage his symptoms.

I have a fully trained service dog -- and she does not manage my symptoms. A therapy dog I was friends with in college didn't either. Dogs are there for you, but the human must know how to calm themselves down when the dog wants to help.

For example, my service dog might ask to be read to when I'm stressed. I decide to read to her to calm myself down. I decide to pet her Andrew concentrate on it to ground.

She licks me and leans on me to get me into reality, but I have to respond for it to work. I have to be okay enough to allow myself to receive help.

A puppy... can't be expected to help a man manage his own illness. Not this way. That poor puppy likely has too high expectations on him, JUST from inconsistency with bathroom training.

I know you didn't say service dog, but you did say therapy dog. I'm assuming you meant emotional support dog -- but still, i have strong feelings about getting rid of the dog, but also feel for the dog's stress in this situation as much as I feel for you.

I recommend getting him (the human) into therapy if he isn't already. I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with all this stress, and that you're trying to wear out literally any option -- but it's not on you either. He needs to learn to manage his symptoms to stop hurting you or himself.

Good luck

 

[Mytime]

Hi welcome to the forum. Is your SO in therapy at all. Seems like he needs some help on his symptoms.