My Friend And I Think I Should Change Therapists

[qwyoey]

The idea of group therapy now does not seem too nice to me.

It may be tough to consider the other therapy options, but it is something you should. If you are having suicidal urges and are concerned about getting worse then mental health should come first.

I would suggest talking about outpatient programs with your therapist or additional resources for you to access immediately. She will best be able to describe what is available in your area.

I see myself and I watch as I try and get validation from other people because I doubt my own thoughts and don't have confidence in my own decisions, which I know needs to be ended. I think it's because that now I'm really going through a hard time with Depression and all of these pressures and stresses that I know my thinking is distorted so I'm looking for some sort of reality checker, and my friend is the easiest to access because she's right there. I find myself pathetic, really, that I have to feel validated by my friend. I didn't have to do that when I wasn't so depressed, but now I do and I don't really like it. It makes me feel weak that I'm having to rely on her so much and less dependent. I tried to stray from her but then I noticed things got worse, especially when physical interaction lessened greatly which I think is what really kicked my mood down, worsening my depression and stress levels.

I hope you can discuss this directly with your therapist. This would be very helpful for her to know.

 

[The Albatross]

Independent of your friend what do you think/feel after therapy. Her observations since she's not in your sessions is really damn near irrelevant. She a mental health professional? If she was your friend before therapy and you relied on her... why'd you need a shrink?

"If I feel I need to change therapists and it continues on for a long time, then my plan is that once I get medication and I've stuck with this therapist for some time, and I still want to change, then I will. But for now I'm thinking I'll stay with this therapist and continue rolling the ball, I guess."

Good decision. Another one might be to keep your "friend" out of your therapy unless you want to bring them all the way into to sessions. Definitely be thinking about a boundary there.

 

[Iyllsa]

Good decision. Another one might be to keep your "friend" out of your therapy unless you want to bring them all the way into to sessions. Definitely be thinking about a boundary there.

Yes. My friend suggested it and at the time I was unsure of what to think and was hesitant to say she could. I'm worried of what she might say to my therapist too (in the sense of tone). Now that I've given it a few days to think about, I really wouldn't want my friend to be there.

I think she is starting to get too involved and that's my fault because I didn't stop her and/or I would tell her a bit about my session when I shouldn't have.. I'll have to try and hold off from now on. I hope I don't makes her think I'm distancing myself from her in the bad sense.

If you have a defence of always trying to look calm and collected, and you say your body language doesn'...

Well my friend has seen me be more expressive before I went into therapy and I've opened up to her about things as well. But I can see how letting her get a bit more involved can sort of shock her..

She's more worried about the fact that I'm getting new symptoms or my symptoms are worsening. Which I expected in the beginning. I knew that opening up wounds would be causing depression and other symptoms to resurface.

 

[Iyllsa]

It may be tough to consider the other therapy options, but it is something you should. If you are havin...

That sounds like a good idea that I will bring up to my therapist. Maybe she'll be able to help me find resources that are a bit more in my "comfort zone"?

 

[qwyoey]

That sounds like a good idea that I will bring up to my therapist. Maybe she'll be able to help me find resources that are a bit more in my "comfort zone"?

If you build a team it will be easier to get to a comfort zone. If you are trying to choose based on your current comfort level it will be hard to progress much with your treatment for ptsd. However, you can make smaller steps before bigger ones.

I know from another post you mentioned you were 19? Take advantage of your young mind to rewire yourself early! I was diagnosed at your age but began treatment much later. I wish I could get back the 10 years I refused treatment.

 

[Abigail7]

It sounds like you're involved in a very bad case of triangulation.

She's worried that you're getting worse and getting new symptoms?

People familiar with PTSD know this is normal, to be expected actually.

Once I started therapy I ended up having near death experiences and severe spikes in symptoms. I think it's rare to enter therapy and just start getting better and stay in the getting better path with reduction in symptoms constantly.

When you rely on a friend so much as you are, your friend is actually starting fires. Her panic tells you that an increase in symptoms is a cause for concern as if it shouldn't be happening. I'd actually argue that therapy without pain isn't effective therapy when dealing with trauma.

I think that this friendship is overly enmeshed. I think you need to put considerable distance between yourself and this friend. I think you should make her a non-PTSD friend as right now your friendship revolves around your PTSD. If the friendship cans survive based on other activities and topics of conversation, I'd argue that it was an incredibly unhealthy friendship that bordered on toxicity and as such is best left in the past.

Best thing a friend ever told me was that I talk about my disorder too much. It hurt, but my life got so much better when my friendships stopped being bogged down by my PTSD.

 

[Iyllsa]

It sounds like you're involved in a very bad case of triangulation.

She's worried that you're getting worse and get...

I knew that starting therapy things would come back or worsen, but I didn't know it was a typical thing for PTSD. Now thinking back my therapist kept saying, "Oh it's normal with people in your situation," "This is normal," and to me it felt like she wasn't understanding my fear or worries, but now that I'm being told it is normal with PTSD particularly(or any other disorder) that actually makes me feel a bit better about my symptoms. They still suck, but now I'm seeing it in a better light..

Our friendship didn't start off our mental illnesses and it's base is not the mental illness. We actually don't spend much time talking about it unless it's a difficult time and the other brings it up.. I think she encourages me to talk about it more than I typically, or ever, would because she knows I sort of just shut down and isolate myself.. and she really encourages me to keep an open communication with people.

She is not like me, in that sense. She's a very social person while I'm not. I tend to keep more to myself.. so talking to another friend about all this is very new to me and I never would have thought I'd be having this issue.

I will try to not let myself get so consumed by her when she presents me with an issue. I've noticed that she'll sort of get nervous and I end up getting pulled in and we sort of.. feed off of each other almost in the panic. (We both have an anxiety disorder which probably doesn't help haha.)

 

[Iyllsa]

My friend suggested again today that I should change therapists. It's been a week since my therapist said she'd write letters to me for if I need them for school or to go to a doctor. All that.

I told her that I will try and get medication and stick with it for a bit longer, but I asked why she wanted me to change. These are her reasons:

"She's telling you to tell your abusive parents about therapy which they will go ballistic about."
"She thinks your abusive parents are safe and that you would reach out if things got bad."
"She doesn't believe you when you say you are seriously depressed."
"She puts your suicidal tendencies aside and excuses it "because of the holidays."
"She has taken almost a week to get you letters that are vital to your well being."
"She has only suggested one or two coping mechanisms for which either don't do anything to help you or make your symptoms worse, then has no other suggestions afterwards."

I'm still hesitant to agree with her because I'm not sure how serious or bad this is, or if the therapist is trying to get at something that I'm not understanding.. I don't know.

 

[The Albatross]

What are YOUR reasons? Here you are again, and your friend is still all up in you're Kool-Aid (therapy). You need a boundary and she needs something else to be concerned about.

 

[qwyoey]

My friend suggested again today that I should change therapists. It's been a week since my therapist sai...

I'd like to see you be able to "expand" on these thoughts. What do you feel about this list? Can you take this list and perhaps turn it into something you could bring into therapy to work on? It can take a while for you to be able to develop the skills to become a more independent thinker and to be able to ask for what you need.

 

[joeylittle]

My friend suggested again today that I should change therapists. It's been a week since my therapist said she'd write letters to me for if I need them for school or to go to a doctor. All that.

I told her that I will try and get medication and stick with it for a bit longer, but I asked why she wanted me to change.

Stop talking to your friend about this. Start talking to your therapist about whether or not you should continue with her.

 

[Nessa7]

I think when considering your own list of reasons that you might want to take into account that you're struggling with talking openly with your therapist.

My best friend doesn't like my current therapist, either. To an extent, it is understandable. They upset you and make your symptoms worse. They might have too many patients to do some of the things that we would like them to when we want them to. They try to talk you into doing stuff you don't want to do. I think in both of our cases, they suggest things that change the dynamics of our friendships, which is hard. No one wants their friendships to change. If they weren't trained medical professionals, therapists would seriously be bad news.

A big way that our situations differ is that my friend's suggestions were obviously terrible. Your friend's aren't, but they aren't necessarily good ones. This is a decision that you have to make on your own, even though it might be really hard to trust your own judgement.