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I am so sorry, Medic. I wish I was there to give you a tight hug.
You need your loved ones around you more than ever. If you don't have someone sitting with you, please call someone. A pastor, a friend, a neighbor or family member. You should not be alone.
Breathe. Keep breathing. That's all you really have to do right now. Yeah, I guess food will be useful at intervals. It's ok to drop everything. It's ok to be alone. It's ok to ask for help. It's ok to do whatever you need to do. The only really important part is breathing.
The rest can be handled some other day. I am so sorry.