Sexual Assault My husband is making me feel like liar....

[mrsmegan]

Sorry, I have taken a bit to process my feelings more and consider the responses here.

Do I believe my husband had ill-intention, likely no. However, I am really struggling with the feelings it triggered in me, if he really heard me when I disclosed to him, and that he seems to be forgetting important things. If I would remind him of what happened to me - I am sure his opinion would change - but I don't know that I will be able to shake his gut reaction he just had....

 

[highwaybeauty]

I'm feeling crushed right now.

I was abused by boys who were 11-12, I was 5.

We went to dinner at a...

I am in a similar situation. Like you, I was 5 and my cousins were 12-15. My husband finds it difficult to understand what happened. The truth is I find it difficult to make sense of it as well. If you are anything like me, you probably questioned whether it actually happened or whether you interpreted the situation wrong. Regardless, you deserve a husband that is supportive and understanding. It must be awful to realize that your husband has such strong views on this, especially considering your experiences. Please keep posting and taking with the people here. There is only understanding and acceptance here :)

HB x

 

[agirls]

My husband has had a hard time with all of this. My PTSD diagnosis, understanding what triggers me, understanding my symptoms. It was a huge problem for me. My therapist finally referred him to a therapist who had extensive work with sexual abuse and assault victims. It's been tremendously helpful for him. Though it had taken awhile. And we have been in couples counseling for two years now. Also very helpful. I know how defeating it is and I'm sorry.

 

[Scarlet13]

Thank you for this post. I was sexually abused by a 13 year old girl from ages 4 to 5. She was a monster (from my perspective). She was extremely manipulative and VERY narcissistic. At one point another, older woman became involved. So, this girl obviously was also a victim herself. I do not struggle with being believed, but I do struggle with feeling like this abuse was some how not as bad as like an older man for example. This girl was pretty, a teen and I loved her. But, she was developed. My therapist says that it was like she was placing all of her shame onto me. It was very hard to be raped by a woman because when I got to the point when I became developed I felt a deep longing for my child body and a deep hatred of the woman body, it disgusted me. I was also victim blamed by narcissistic mother who said I brought the abuse upon myself because I was 'bad'.
My husband has often not said the right thing either. He is a great man for me though. I think your husband's comment underscores the trauma of it. If something is seemingly unbelievable then it is clear how terrible it is. It is unbelievable that a 13 year old girl could groom me and then cause PTSD at age 4. It is unbelievable that a mother could blame and punish her child. My mom said I brought it upon myself because I was 'different, creative, and misbehaved a lot.' This is unbelievable. But, it is important to have the 'unbelievable' believed. I would try talking to your husband and tell him that you were hurt. I can see why you are feeling invalidated, I would too.