Relationship My Husband Left Me

[Deleted member 12795]

I know the words to my subject are common in our world of PTSD/TBI. But this time I am mad!

He got mad at me for something misuderstanding and came into my daugher's room ( i slept with her that night because she was sick) and told me I had one week to get out of the house. I stayed that night, but he was pissed and told me he would kill me if I stayed. My daughter was sick, I was not leaving.

Anyways the next day I went to my parents and he told me to not come home he wanted to be left alone and that he was leaving town and that I could return when he came back. He was out of town for 5 days, I had no idea where he was. He ignored my once a day emails, so I packed lightly and stayed at my parents. He came back into town and talked thru text a little but was still done with me.

It was been about 7 days know and we are suppose to meet on Feb. 15 to discuss things. I am mad though!! I have a daughter, everything is that house belong to me! My job and parents live here, he wanted to break up he should get out!!

I want to go over there tonight adn say this is bullshit to throw me and my daughter out on the streets while he lives there cozy, but I am trying to be patients until Feb. 15. Should I be that patient?? It is really hard living with my parents, I am basically living out of my car. I have to sleep in a bed with my 2 year old daughter and go back to the car everyday to get clothes. Should I really be giving him time to "think"???Should I jsut go over there and tell him I am moving in and he can get out of he doesn't love me?

Should I wait till the 15?? On Feb. 15 I am certain I am telling him I am moving back in, but why am I waiting?

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[SimplyComplex]

Wow, nightmare. As far as I can tell as a sufferer and a supporter, none of this sounds like PTSD to me. Its abuse. A restraining order and a legal advocate are in order. Domestic Violence programs can often help you with this.

 

[CPTSD]

I agree with SimplyComplex, that sounds like abuse to me.

I have been abused in the way you describe, and it is horrible, crazy-making. It makes one feel all mixed up and confused, and so HURT and ANGRY. If that were happening to me right now, I would contact the nearest women's and children's abuse shelter.

Call information or even call the police and ask how to contact the shelter. The volunteers in those places are trained to help in these situations, and they should know where all the best resources are in your local area for legal and financial and other practical help.

Staying with parents during such a stressful time is probably going to add MORE stress to the situation... speaking from my own personal experience, that is!

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[ISupportHer]

I'll continue with the above responses.

First, I am so very sorry to hear that your relationship has come to this. I can't even imagine how you must feel.

Yes, you need to stay safe, so being at your parents' is the right thing short term. You DO have rights. If the marriage is over, I think that you need to get some sort of legal advice. I assume money is an issue but perhaps for a small fee you can at least have a consultation. Laws vary from place to place, I assume.

ISH

 

[Deleted member 12795]

Wait, I don't quite understand why everyone is saying I need to run to a domestic violence place, he has never hit me. He has never been phsycially abusive. I will admitt there has been verbal abuse at times, but that is when he is having a trigger point

 

[Deleted member 12795]

I am not worried about the aspects of getting a divorce. I know how that works in my state. I really was just wondering if I should leave him alone for now and wait till the 15 or not. I think he answered that question for me, as he has started texting me. I think he started texting me because I stopped contacting him. He was afraid I was out on the town last night. Why he thought that....I have no idea, probably insecurity.
But anyways, I got over my anger (kind of) and am working on my patients and I am just going to wait until Feb. 15 to talk to him. We'll see where things go from here. Even if I decide to stay it won't be for no reason. He is already signed up for therapy and we have couples counseling set up, those are both things we set up before the fight, but now we'll see if he follows through by showing up.

 

[SimplyComplex]

Abuse isn't always physical. He threatened to kill you. He tried to throw you out while your child was sick. He threw you out of your own home.

All of what you described is abuse and any advocate or DV program will see it as such and get you legal and emotional support.

 

[The Albatross]

I like the idea of a cooling off period, if you're comfortable with it. But I don't like the idea of you and your child being pushed out of your home. As you are the custodial parent at this point, he needs to be the one to have alternative accomidations until this is resolved.

I'm a firm believer in "mediating" disputes with a third party present... things don't get as far out of hand with an agreed upon third party. I have used this in my current marriage several times.