My husband pushed me

[Suhifo]

Personally, I wouldn't class that as abuse. I'd class it as a fight.

Congratulations on winning it.

My condolences on...

When you put it this way - I kind of agree and it makes me re-think a lot of things. Thanks for your input.

 

[Onur]

You know that little movie called The Notebook? And there’s that soul mate couple? He’s my Noah.

Or if you’re more into the comedy thing - he’s the Jim to my Pam.

I could never let him do that... because I know that ultimately, that’s not what he wants.

 

[Suhifo]

I've been where you are. Slammed into a wall by my vet.

So here's my question for you: will your broken jaw hurt any l...

This hit hard. Never thought of it this way.

 

[Ijim]

PTSD IS NEVER A REASON TO ABUSE. He didn't just get like that because is the PTSD. Does he become aggressive with others when he goes out someplace? If not, then you've got an abuser on your hands and it isn't the PTSD. I suffer from Severe and Chronic PTSD, and when I have an episode, I turn my anger and rage on myself. I flip over tables, self harm, hate myself....etc. But I would never become aggressive towards others, or abuse others. Unless you are violent to begin with, you're not going to be violent after PTSD. Either way, get away from him before he kills you.

 

[Wobef]

I hope his ex finds out what he’s doing and he loses custody/visitation of the two kids that aren’t yours.

 

[Upuki]

Unless you are violent to begin with, you're not going to be violent after PTSD.

Going to just point out that if its combat PTSD we're talking about - soldiers are taught to be violent. It MUST be there only response when under threat. So for them, violence is their PTSD are all mixed together.

But it still won't make it hurt any less when he breaks your jaw.

 

[Fewis]

soldiers are taught to be violent.

They are not trained to be blindly violent. They are trained for combat. Also if they are a slave to their training then consider the fact that they're bombarded with training not to beat or rape women. Ask any military member about SHARP training or the speeches Top gives them on Fridays and before every leave.

If a military member is rapes or beats women it's because he's a woman beater or rapist who happens to be in the service.

Don't ever, ever excuse violence because somebody has combat PTSD. It's a stereotype that way too many people believe.

 

[Gulazi]

I've gotten into this discussion so many times here, especially when I first joined the forum and was particularly defensive of my relationship. PTSD is basically a broken stress response, yes? And there are three responses to stress -- flight, fight, or freeze. "Flight" can look like isolating, while "fight" tends to look like lashing out or bullying. I'm not justifying abuse. I left my abusive relationship with my combat vet ex. However, his stress response was "fight" every single time, while I tend to see much more "flight" responses in the stories I read here. Just a reminder that there is a link between combat PTSD and violence, even if PTSD doesn't excuse it.

 

[Ija]

Part of the reason I have PTSD was watching my parents "fight", my dad beating my mom with things, breaking furniture over her head, and telling me if I ran off to call the police as my mom asked he would kill her. I was 4. I believed him. He probably had some kind of mental illness, but that didn't diminish the trauma it caused.