-
We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
-
Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.
My Mum Just Died At 3.36 Pm Today
- Post starter Sammyiam
- Start date
- Status
City Slicker
Platinum Member
Peace be with you @Sammyiam
Ellabella44
Diamond Member
sorry to hear sammy, hope you are well.
- Moderator
- #31
littlelostchild
Platinum Member
notsurewheretoturn
Platinum Member
Hugs to all that need it.
Remember to take care of yourself through this Sammy, cry if you need to and don't be ashamed to chuckle at the good memories.
Thinking of you.
Remember to take care of yourself through this Sammy, cry if you need to and don't be ashamed to chuckle at the good memories.
Thinking of you.
- Post starter
- #34
Sammyiam
Platinum Member
Thank you everyone for all your support, it has been 24 hours since my Mum died. I just had to check with my husband as it seems longer than that. I have been on this weird high and nothing seems to bother me. I feel nothing I should be sad and crying like my sister and brothers. My sister is really upset, she was my Mums favourite she never could do anything wrong. I have no problem with my sister or brothers we all get on fine with each other and they have been really good to me over the past 24 hours. I think because I am the baby of the family and seven years younger than the next one up, they have this weird sense of checking on me to see I am ok, which is nice of them.
We have never even had a fight as adults, the whole four of us just do our own things but are always there if you needed them, but we don't live in each other's pockets. We are very lucky that we get on ok with each other, as some family's have major problems between brothers and sisters. They are all a lot older than myself, so when growing up, they were pretty much out working and some had left home.
I just don't know what to feel at the moment I had a pyschaitrist and pyschologist appointment today, which it just happened to be the next day as they are made in advance. I walked in and he said how was your week, I said ok then he said how are you feeling I said fine after talking for 15 mins the lady I went with said are you going to tell him, I said no, he asked her what she meant and she told him that my Mum had just died yesterday. I don't think he could believe it. I wasn't going to say anything as I don't actually feel anything. He asked me loads of questions but I just keeped saying I don't feel anything.
Have I been a bad daughter and that is why I am not feeling what I am meant to be feeling. I told two people in town that asked what I was up to yesterday, and I said oh my mum died but it's ok and the look on their faces , I felt so bad for them I couldn't believe their reactions. I haven't told anyone else not even my next door neighbours as I don't want them coming to the funeral on Friday, I just don't want anyone to come that knows me. I just want it all finished and don't want to have to get dressed up to go ( which I hate ) I said to my friend can I just wear my track suit pants and black tee shirt, she won't be able to tell me off as she is in the box.
I'm not sure what to do as why am I the only one feeling like this ?
Have you ever felt this way or am I the only screwed up person on the planet that feels nothing when I should be upset, let's face it you only ever get one mum, and I blew it when she was alive , now I'm blowing it even when she is dead :(
Sammy. I am now an offical orphan
Mum and dad have both left
We have never even had a fight as adults, the whole four of us just do our own things but are always there if you needed them, but we don't live in each other's pockets. We are very lucky that we get on ok with each other, as some family's have major problems between brothers and sisters. They are all a lot older than myself, so when growing up, they were pretty much out working and some had left home.
I just don't know what to feel at the moment I had a pyschaitrist and pyschologist appointment today, which it just happened to be the next day as they are made in advance. I walked in and he said how was your week, I said ok then he said how are you feeling I said fine after talking for 15 mins the lady I went with said are you going to tell him, I said no, he asked her what she meant and she told him that my Mum had just died yesterday. I don't think he could believe it. I wasn't going to say anything as I don't actually feel anything. He asked me loads of questions but I just keeped saying I don't feel anything.
Have I been a bad daughter and that is why I am not feeling what I am meant to be feeling. I told two people in town that asked what I was up to yesterday, and I said oh my mum died but it's ok and the look on their faces , I felt so bad for them I couldn't believe their reactions. I haven't told anyone else not even my next door neighbours as I don't want them coming to the funeral on Friday, I just don't want anyone to come that knows me. I just want it all finished and don't want to have to get dressed up to go ( which I hate ) I said to my friend can I just wear my track suit pants and black tee shirt, she won't be able to tell me off as she is in the box.
I'm not sure what to do as why am I the only one feeling like this ?
Have you ever felt this way or am I the only screwed up person on the planet that feels nothing when I should be upset, let's face it you only ever get one mum, and I blew it when she was alive , now I'm blowing it even when she is dead :(
Sammy. I am now an offical orphan
Mum and dad have both left
Friday
Sponsor
Heya, Sammy. You're doing just fine. You're not blowing it. You're coping in your own way.
My emotions usually shut off completely around death, it's part of my standard 'good in crisis, fall apart later' scheme.
For me... It's generally as soon as everything is fine when all my emotions decide to come back and I fall to pieces. For loved ones deaths, that usually means wake & funeral have been arranged & had. Visitors & out of town family have gone home. And, if I'm working? People have stopped asking me if I'm okay, and there's no way in hell I could get a day off and not be fired for it (as opposed to weeks/months earlier, when everyone was trying to send me home). There we go. Things are normal now. And kaBoom! Get knocked over by the wave.
I've learned to expect (& plan for) the eventual crash. I get time off work arranged in advance. I get meals prepped and in the freezer because there's no way I could cook. I get my house cleaned to within an inch of its life. I pay bills a few months in advance.
While there may be 5 Stages of Grief, I have 6. It's not denial, I'm well aware they're gone. It's delay; I'll mourn later, I've got to survive right now. Even when there's nothing to survive, I'm still in survival mode.
My emotions usually shut off completely around death, it's part of my standard 'good in crisis, fall apart later' scheme.
For me... It's generally as soon as everything is fine when all my emotions decide to come back and I fall to pieces. For loved ones deaths, that usually means wake & funeral have been arranged & had. Visitors & out of town family have gone home. And, if I'm working? People have stopped asking me if I'm okay, and there's no way in hell I could get a day off and not be fired for it (as opposed to weeks/months earlier, when everyone was trying to send me home). There we go. Things are normal now. And kaBoom! Get knocked over by the wave.
I've learned to expect (& plan for) the eventual crash. I get time off work arranged in advance. I get meals prepped and in the freezer because there's no way I could cook. I get my house cleaned to within an inch of its life. I pay bills a few months in advance.
While there may be 5 Stages of Grief, I have 6. It's not denial, I'm well aware they're gone. It's delay; I'll mourn later, I've got to survive right now. Even when there's nothing to survive, I'm still in survival mode.
The Albatross
VIP Member
Not blowing it Sammy... it is your experience right now, that is all. There is no real standard for how people deal with their grief.
- Status
Similar posts
Donation drives
Trending content
-
-
What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
- goingonhope
Comments: 34K -
-
-
-
