My Neighbors Give Me Nightmares

[piratelady]

I live in an apartment, with thin walls. I also live on the bottom floor of a two level apartment. I can hear everything. There have been a few times when my upstairs neighbors have dropped something or moved something and given me a panic attack.

Tonight however, is ridiculous. I had a dream that a group of people broke into my apartment and attacked me. I woke up when the got really bad, only to hear a group of people very loud outside my bedroom window. So, needless to say I woke up from a bad nightmare to those noises and now here I am trying to calm down from my panic attack. Unsuccessfully.

Well, they are back in their apartment now, noisy as ever. I get up to take something to calm down and someone falls...or drops something which just made me even worse.

It's 3 AM here - I've only had a couple hours of sleep and there is no sign of things calming down upstairs. It's going to be a long morning. I really wish I was brave enough to confront them and tell them how horribly loud and disturbing they are.

I started wearing headphones to help me sleep sometimes. But then there are nights like tonight that I start worrying...what if the headphones make it so I don't hear someone break into the house.... I really want to sleep :(

 

[intothelight]

HI Piratelady,

That is the hardest part about living in some apartment that don't have very good soundproofing. While you neighbors cannot help that they drop something and need to move things as that is their home also; perhaps they would be amendable to letting you know the next time they were having a party so it would scare you.

I don't know how well you know them, but sometimes just a polite request can resolve a lot of problems. But unfortunately, unless their are breaking a condition of the lease or causing a public nuisance, there sin't really much you can do about a late night party.

Wishing you the best.

Debbie

 

[Ted Moen]

Your neighbors may seem noisy, inconsiderate and obnoxious, but it's not your neighbors that give you nightmares. Things they do trigger stuff related to traumatic memories. Traumatic memories generate a set of PTSD symptoms, one of which is nightmares. If your neighbors are actually acting inappropiately, the appropriate response is to report the situation to the apartment manager.

More likely for us, they are probably more or less normal people doing the things more or less people do and some aspect of their more or less normal behavior is triggering our traumatic memories, which creates an intense situation for us that is way beyond the intensity appropriate to the real current situation. Our challenge when that happens is to manage our actual behavior so that we actually behave in a way appropriate to our current situation as opposed to acting out the intense feelings the current situation has triggered, and to explore the triggers and triggered memories with our therapist.

Ted

 

[piratelady]

Debbie: Well, they are breaking a condition of the lease - parties are not allowed and music isn't allowed after 10. I've considered leaving a note or emailing the apartment manager, but I haven't yet. I don't want to get on their bad side. I really hate confrontation. The neighbors are a little.... weird. One of them stands outside with binoculars staring at the school, looking for wild turkeys. I don't think the school as a flock of wild turkey and I've never seen them outside. I try not to talk to them.

Ted: I know you're right and I do need to figure out how to manage my symptoms. I was getting better. I used to just hear the loud noises, and freak out. Now I actually try to stop and think - logically what could that noise be? If I can identify it, I can usually calm down. I'm guessing last night was worse because of the nightmare.

 

[piratelady]

So, what do you guys do when you are too afraid to go to sleep? Last night I just couldn't make myself feel safe enough to actually sleep. I normally don't have nightmares as bad as Saturday and now I'm worried I'll have more. :(

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi I watch tv or read a book, reading before I go to bed is very relaxing. It helps me to go to sleep. I don't have nightmares either. It works like magic. I hope you find out what will work for you. Wishing you the best on your neighbor situation. That is a tough call. The only thing I can think of is reporting them to the manager. Or talking to them yourself. I know you do not want to be on anyones bad side but you have rights too. Bad neighbors can really create alot of bad stress. Hope it works out for you.