I appreciate the straightforwardness of your answer, and I think you are 100% correct. My therapist has helped me to understand how and why revealing these things was harmful on my part, and I have apologized in earnest to him for it. Thank you for your response.Do you want this relationship to work out?
If so, stop treating each other like therapists.
IMHO it’s ok to get support from a partner, but it’s not ok to discuss trauma details. This, X 1000 if your partner has been traumatized, too.
He’s been telling you in his own way that he doesn’t want to hear about your sexual abuse, because he can’t handle it.
I think the only things that are ok to share with a partner are things that trigger you, so that you can have a good sexual experience with your partner. But, even so, it’s more like “please don’t do XYZ because it triggers me” and not “please don’t do XYZ because it triggers me since that’s what my abuser did to me every time he raped me and these are the details about what happened and....”
I found so much of your response helpful, thank you for taking the time to respond. I don't understand what you mean here, though, and I hope you will be willing to explain what you were trying to express in a different way? Thank you for your support!Have you ever been treated like a rapist? Or been physically assaulted, or verbally torn down, or recoiled from in disgust? By either a stranger or someone you care about? It’s often not a very pretty response, especially from people who haven’t been conditioned to accept being treated badly. And it’s really no wonder... living with someone with PTSD is often like livin with a drunk, or an abuser. All smiles one moment, lashing out or bursting into tears (over god only knows what) the next, and then all smiles again. Rages, crying storms, self hatred, apologies, smiles, impossible demands, constantly moving targets, expecting to be treated like a king/queen with all their bad behaviour forgiven and not even the good behavior of their partner keeps their partner “safe” from causing the next storm of tears or rage, mistrust or cold distance... it can get really brutal.
Which isn’t to say not to date. It IS to say that it’s not an irrational response by a caring person to NOT want to be treated badly. It’s a pretty legit gripe.