My sister's counselor says she needs to report my sexual abuse even though i'm over 18?

[GraceH]

Hello,

I'm new here and I don't usually talk about this part of my life but this just came up so I looked up some questions that came up today and found this forum.

My sister is in college and started going to counseling. I am older than her and obviously would not talk about my sexual abuse to my younger siblings, but my mom would bring it up whenever she was angry at me and yell about it in front of my three younger sisters which was mortifying and made me very uncomfortable.

It makes sense that this was traumatic for my sisters and left them with some complicated perspectives so my 20 year old sister brought it up to her counselor, who called me and said she's a mandatory reporter and needs to file a report. I'm 25 and worked as a case manager for years and I have never heard that it's required to file a report if the victim is over 18. He does still work with children so I understand why she wants to, but does she really have the legal right to? I am still considering my options and am not entirely against filing something, but I can't help but feel like she may be confused on what she legally has to do.

SUMMARY: Do some states require that you report sexual abuse even when the subject is now an adult? I'm not saying she shouldn't, I'm just confused that she legal has to.

 

[FauxLiz]

I don't know about the age issue but I would be more curious how she can report something third hand. If she is not now nor has ever been your counselor then what is she reporting? Your sister would have confided that your mother yelled at you about sexual abuse but your sister does not have first hand knowledge what happened to pass on to the counselor it has the potential by the time the counselor heard about fourth hand information because it would have come from you to your mother to your sister to the counselor. I am not in anyway saying what happened to you did not happen just that by the time the information got to the counselor it has had a lot of opportunity for interpretation.

 

[GraceH]

I don't know about the age issue but I would be more curious how she can report something third hand....

That was my thinking as well. My sister is reporting my mother's actions, since she didn't witness the sexual abuse.

 

[FauxLiz]

@GraceH was your mother your abuser? I thought in your first post it sounded like a man was the abuser so if your sister is reporting your mother yelling at you I am still stumped as to how the counselor has anyone to report. I guess the question here is do you want this abuser reported and to do you have the resources to support you, not your sister YOU once the report is made. While you have no expectation of privacy in relation to this therapist I am still shocked and confused how she can "mandatory report" a disclosure that was not made by either party in the abuse.

 

[Sideways]

It varies a lot as to what a person’s obligations are depending on where they are in the world.

Where there is a mandatory reporting requirement, the obligation is usually to make a report about the perpetrator, if they continue to pose a risk to children (rather than to report details of the victim).

 

[FauxLiz]

@Sideways wouldn't they have to name the victim though so that an investigation can take place?

 

[Teamwork]

You stated, he does still work with children. So yes she has to report that he is capable because he did it to you.

 

[EveHarrington]

Yes, if you were abused as a child, then it doesn’t matter if you are an adult now...a mandatory reporter must report abuse once they have enough details to identify an abuser. Every jurisdiction is different, but what you describe sounds pretty normal to me. This is to protect other children.

 

[whiteraven]

Yes, if you were abused as a child, then it doesn’t matter if you are an adult now...a mandator...

Just wondering, what happens if the person who was abused denies it or refuses to participate in the investigation?

 

[GraceH]

Yes, if you were abused as a child, then it doesn’t matter if you are an adult now...a mandator...

I guess that makes sense. Do you know what extent I need to participate in the investigation?

 

[GraceH]

@GraceH was your mother your abuser? I thought in your first post it sounded like a...

I don't have the resources currently. I have a very supportive husband and a fantastic circle of friends, but I would want to have a counselor that I trust in place before, during and after getting involved in this because I know it will bring up a lot of emotions. My mother did not sexually abuse me. My mother would just bring it up in front of my sisters and say pretty inappropriate things about it and took an inappropriate course of action in the years that followed. I'm not fully sure what my sister disclosed to her counselor but I can understand why it would come up.

 

[Sideways]

wouldn't they have to name the victim though so that an investigation can take place?

This depends on a lot on the laws of the individual jurisdiction. When something has to be reported changes as well as what information has to be reported.

Also - Mandatory reporting? Doesn’t necessarily mean mandatory investigations take place. And even in places where sufficient resources have been allocated to the relevant authorities to investigate every report, often that “investigation” doesn’t amount to much more than checking/adding to certain databases. The variation in both laws, and the resources available to do anything with reported information, is huge depending on where you are. Who the report is coming from, what evidence they have, and when the offence took place, are also things that may impact what happens when a ‘report’ is made.

Either way, and I’m happy to be corrected here, mandatory reporting laws do not require adult victims to cooperate with investigations, let alone potential victims to cooperate. A mandatory reporter contacting authorities to say “I’ve been told this...” is not the same as a person going to the police and filing a formal complaint against a person.

If you’re in the position where someone tells you that they need to make a report based what you’ve told them, because of mandatory reporting laws, it would be absolutely reasonable to ask that person:
1) what will happen with that report? and/or
2) who should I contact to find out what happens to that report?

For example, which authority is the report made to? Can you discuss the matter with them? What action are they obligated to take? And what action are they likely to take?

Sadly, in a lot of places? Mandatory reports, particularly for historical offences (as opposed to offences happening right now), are simply disappearing into an adminstrative black hole, because the resources simply aren’t there to do anything with those reports.