i was diagnosed with ptsd about 4 years ago. it has only been within the last month that i began to be aware of its impact on my life. there are many times that my reactions to situations did not make sense and in reading about the symptoms of ptsd, i am recognizing them for what they are. i am glad i found this place and i am hoping to find myself through sharing the harsh toll of ptsd.
my ptsd comes from series of events that span a life time. rather than go into great detail of each one, it would be easier if i just listed them.
at the age of 10, physical abuse and incest began.
age 15, nearly died from encephalitis and menangitis
age 19 appendectomy while 7 months pregnant
age 20, menangitis again
age 21, divorced with 2 children ages 2 and 4
age 21, 2 year old daughter stricken with rare blood cancer, on chemo for 2 years
age 23, raped twice by exhusband
age 26, diagnosed with parkinsons disease
age 33, middle daughter hit me with a car while i was standing in driveway.
age 40, severly beat by husband no. 2
age 42, youngest daughter attempts suicide
age 43, husband no. 3 begins emotional/ mental abuse
age 43, misdxd with anxiety disorder instead of parkiknsons, locked in mental ward for 10 days without proper meds for parkinsons
age 45 thrown in jail for throwing a water bottle. not given parkinsons meds
age 45 had brain surgery
age 45 2 months after brain surgery, pushed down stairs by husband no. 3
age 45-49 many episodes of mental abuse by spouse
age 49, husband no. 3 arrested for domestic violence.
age 50, found that one of the wires of the brain surgery was misplaced in wrong area of brain.
that is where i am now. sitting here at the puter in the middle of a divorce with a unit in my body that is turned off. i moved across the country to go to the best hospital and was told that before they could do anything about the misplaced wiring, i had to get my anxiety under control. i dont know what to call "home" because at this time, my home is probably going to have to be sold in the divorce.
i am truly burnt out. i am seeking advice how to cope. thanks.
my ptsd comes from series of events that span a life time. rather than go into great detail of each one, it would be easier if i just listed them.
at the age of 10, physical abuse and incest began.
age 15, nearly died from encephalitis and menangitis
age 19 appendectomy while 7 months pregnant
age 20, menangitis again
age 21, divorced with 2 children ages 2 and 4
age 21, 2 year old daughter stricken with rare blood cancer, on chemo for 2 years
age 23, raped twice by exhusband
age 26, diagnosed with parkinsons disease
age 33, middle daughter hit me with a car while i was standing in driveway.
age 40, severly beat by husband no. 2
age 42, youngest daughter attempts suicide
age 43, husband no. 3 begins emotional/ mental abuse
age 43, misdxd with anxiety disorder instead of parkiknsons, locked in mental ward for 10 days without proper meds for parkinsons
age 45 thrown in jail for throwing a water bottle. not given parkinsons meds
age 45 had brain surgery
age 45 2 months after brain surgery, pushed down stairs by husband no. 3
age 45-49 many episodes of mental abuse by spouse
age 49, husband no. 3 arrested for domestic violence.
age 50, found that one of the wires of the brain surgery was misplaced in wrong area of brain.
that is where i am now. sitting here at the puter in the middle of a divorce with a unit in my body that is turned off. i moved across the country to go to the best hospital and was told that before they could do anything about the misplaced wiring, i had to get my anxiety under control. i dont know what to call "home" because at this time, my home is probably going to have to be sold in the divorce.
i am truly burnt out. i am seeking advice how to cope. thanks.
