I'm so sorry! My therapist of 9 yrs is talking about retiremement in a year or so and that's a very scary thought. Though I maybe able to find a good therapist, I will never trust them like I trust him. I think, with the tools I have today I could get started with a new therapist but still, a scary thought.
My therapist in college told me she quit the very day that she left, but I was able to follow her into her private practice.
This is what I'm hoping to do. He's talking about opening a private practice and doing EMDR only and then taking his oldest clients only with him (which would include me and that's why he was telling me) to do traditional psychotherapy. I'm hoping this is the case as I'm not even at the point that I can reduce therapy sessions yet. I might be there in a year, might be, but still, I was hoping to reduce sessions. Not have a therapist one day and the next day not having one. That's a super scary thought and I'm sorry that happened
@BlackbirdSinging!
This:
I don't like the survey's at the beginning and end of every session. Especially at the end of the session. That's where I get to rate her work. No pressure. The survey at the beginning has me rating my overall feelings of myself or whatever. It creates a graph. She explained it makes it easier for her to monitor my progress weekly. Then she can see which areas are up or down and treat them accordingly. Except I'm not into the technical aspect. I'm not a car on a diagnostic machine. I'm trying to figure out how to talk to her about anything.
Would not fly with me. I would feel flustered and likely loose it on her. Tell her. Tell her you feel like you're being treated like a car in the shop and not like a real person and then flat out refuse to do the survery. That sounds rather ridiculous to me. I tend to struggle for words in therapy and talk in circles and riddles and not sure if I'm making sense at all and then my therapist will pick up the convo and either almost recap what I'm saying in other, with better wording, or direct the convo into a less of a circle. I would not be able to form thoughts enough to take any sort of survey or quiz. I would end up with "I don't know" and flustered and frustrated. Just talk to me. One on one. Like a human. You don't need me to rate you and you don't need a diagnostic graph no matter how analytical you are. I'm very analytical minded as well and would never ask that of anyone. If I need a graph, I would make one myself, alone after therapy, based off my notes. If you want to know how I am and how I'm doing and where I'm struggle, then f*cking ask me. No, no, no, that just wouldn't fly with me. And I used to go off on my therapist in the beginning and can see this as one thing that would send me into a rage of frustration very quickly!
I have to admit though. A big part of me wants to go find someone in a private practice and just start all over again. Since I'm already having to start again.
A big part of you is right in my view. It doesn't seem like a good fit from where I'm sitting. You are struggling to discuss even the simplest things with her. That sounds like not a good fit. I would for sure end thing with the new therapist and find someone else in private practice or find someone while seeing her then end it with her when you foind a new therapist or see them at the same time (if insurence allows) to see if their a better fit. I mean, forget all the "need to not compare and be fair" stuff. If you are struggling to find any topic that you feel safe to discuss with her, she isn't the right therapist for you. Just my opinion though.
