I was diagnosed with PTSD when I was 16 years old, due to the emotional and physical abuse I suffered when i was a child. I began showing signs of depression when I was 15. I never really had flash backs to begin with, but I had a great deal of anxiety and was depressed. By 16 my parents took me to a psychologist. She was amazing, and that along with an anti-depressent did wonders. I stopped both within 7 months. She taught me how to cope. Other than small, rare panic attacks, I no longer battled with the symptoms of my PTSD.
When I was 21, my mother committed suicide. This was a very traumatizing event, my mother and I were very close. I again began showing symptoms of PTSD. This time however, along with extreme anxiety, i am having mood swings, irritability and have become extremely jumpy, almost on edge most days. I am 23 now.
I have never thought much about my having PTSD. I always just pretended it wasn't there. I think that was my way of handling it. But the older I get, the more time goes on, and the more I read on this website, the more i am beginning to realize that there might actually be something wrong and I may need help. I don't know how to go about getting help though. I do not have health insurance, and am a typical broke college student.
I am also afraid of going to a psychologist. I am getting married to my best friend in 4 months. He knows I have PTSD and was there when my mother died, so he knows mort of my history. He tells me all the time I am the strongest person he knows. I know it may sound stupid, but I don't want him to think any differently about me for needing to talk to a psychologist. I also don't want him to feel like any of it is his fault.
I just needed to get that out, thanks for reading.
When I was 21, my mother committed suicide. This was a very traumatizing event, my mother and I were very close. I again began showing symptoms of PTSD. This time however, along with extreme anxiety, i am having mood swings, irritability and have become extremely jumpy, almost on edge most days. I am 23 now.
I have never thought much about my having PTSD. I always just pretended it wasn't there. I think that was my way of handling it. But the older I get, the more time goes on, and the more I read on this website, the more i am beginning to realize that there might actually be something wrong and I may need help. I don't know how to go about getting help though. I do not have health insurance, and am a typical broke college student.
I am also afraid of going to a psychologist. I am getting married to my best friend in 4 months. He knows I have PTSD and was there when my mother died, so he knows mort of my history. He tells me all the time I am the strongest person he knows. I know it may sound stupid, but I don't want him to think any differently about me for needing to talk to a psychologist. I also don't want him to feel like any of it is his fault.
I just needed to get that out, thanks for reading.
