My Way To Fight Back

[Anarchy]

:hug:

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Thank you, @Anarchy . I needed that. Big hugs back! :hug:

 

[Anarchy]

Hi Snow,
Good to hear from you.

Sorry that you are feeling exhausted. Do you get time at the weekends for some gentle grounding and soothing?

More hugs
@

 

[Deleted member 19804]

No, I don't really get time at the weekends. I'm working during most of those days as well. I do have 2 days off during the week, but they're spread out and then I have plenty of other obligations to tend to. Right now I'm at home so I'm just watching some tv and listening to music. I think I'm gonna go to bed early tonight. I did stay with my boyfriend last night and that felt good. I'll just take things one day at a time.
Thank you for your support. :hug:

 

[Deleted member 19804]

I think I'm in trouble at uni. Again. They just emailed me they want me to redo some courses from last year and that until I finish them I cannot advance to next year. They have discussed my case separately, but they feel that I cannot handle moving on yet.

I hate this so much. I am so angry with myself and with ptsd. I really am a smart person, you know? At first I was planning to do srudy two things at once and now I have to do everything for one study in twice as much time. Every bit of stress seems to be too much for me. Or maybe I'm just lacking discipline. I honestly don't know. Perhaps it's a combinatiom of the two.

I'm going to speak with a student advisor next week. I really hope I'll be able to limit the damage

 

[RussH]

I am sorry to hear this snow, but don't be angry with yourself I know that you are a smart person, and I hope things work out ok In the mean time consider yourself wrapped in a really big hug.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Thank you, Russ. Your hug made me feel a little better. Hugs back :hug:

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Just talked to a student advisor. They won't let me enter next year no matter what. They're making me redo a large part of last year, even parts of a course that I've already passed.

I don't know what to do. I'm fighting back the tears right now. I feel like such a failure. Can't I do anything right the first time? All other people are doing fine. I'm getting desparate.

On my way to my parents, I hope they won't be too disappointed in me.

 

[RussH]

Abraham Lincoln, one of America's greatest Presidents lost, failed, at multiple elections before being elected to the most powerful office in our country, and he ended up preserving the Union. This Union would be instrumental in defeating Hitler and the Nazi's in WWII

Albert Einstein was a poor student, and struggled, if not outright failed as his school would, and became one of the greatest physicist the world has ever known.
Failure cannot be measured by the moment. It can only be seen as a single step on the path of success.

 

[Anarchy]

Hugs Snow.
Will send you a pm
Can you rationalise this as a temporary set back rather than something that is somehow due to you? You have far more to handle than most other students, and through absolutely no fault of yours.

I can't remember whether the college authorities are aware of your ongoing battle with PTSD? Making you repeat what you have already passed is grossly unfair.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

@RussH . I liked your perspective on this. I do not consider myself to be anywhere near the leagues of those legendary people, but it is true that they're an example that you can still achieve things even after heavy setbacks. I want to believe that will be the case for me, as well. It also helps me to think of a sentence in a Red Hot Chili Peppers song: "I'll make it to the moon if I have to crawl."
Maybe I will still achieve my goals.. eventually.
Right now, however, it is hard not to break down and give up.

@Anarchy yes, they know about my ptsd. The person I spoke to today, however, did not know me yet. I am hoping to speak with a student advisor that knows me better at some point this week. Perhaps that person will be more understanding and helpful.
I will try to rationalise this when I'm ready. Right now, I think it is important that I take my time to process all this and try to find a way to make next year more bearable. I am not just going to let this happen without a fight.

 

[RussH]

Right now, however, it is hard not to break down and give up.

Never give up, Never give up, Never give up.
Winston Churchill.
Snow, I believe in you.