My world just exploded!

[Deleted member 541]

@lostforgottensoul One other service I just thought about....... Do you or can you google for your area Elder Services? She would also be approved for Meals on Wheels ( if our lovely government hasn't axed it) Elder Services do a lot for the elderly, including setting up services for food, house cleaning, help with paying bills. They have a huge amount of resources and can direct you to many others that may help......

I know this is hard, and I know that she hasn't been the "nicest" person towards you either in the past, so I give you kudos for doing what you're doing!!!! When I took my daughter in, right after she got out of jail for possession of heroin, she wouldn't follow my simple rules. No drugs, and no smoking. She broke both rules within a month. I told her to pack her shit, and I drove her to a homeless shelter and dropped her off. She lived at the shelter for 18 months. Have no clue where she is now, accept that she is going to marry a drug dealer. Oh what a joyous thing!!!!! NOT!!!!!

Hang in there!!!!!!! And huge hugs!!!!!!

 

[scout86]

Meals on Wheels ( if our lovely government hasn't axed it)

They haven't axed it yet, but the proposed budget suggests cutting federal funding.

Is she old enough? Seems like there should be LOTS of programs to help old people in Florida.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Dead Link Removed. Oh and do they have any senior centers around where you live???? Here the elderly can go for the day, and they do all sorts of stuff to keep the busy and watched after....

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Her situation has changed quite a bit. So has your household situation, since you don't have any income coming in from your dad now.

Yes, but my income alone prevents medicaid as my dad's alone prevented medicaid for me. And I am now paid more then his income. His has always been a tad bit higher then mine but this new job pays more. Either way, thats how they measure medicaid, his income alone prevented it thus my income alone, being more then his, will prevent it. But I am going online today with my step mom to get food stamps. Which will help. That means I don't have to continue paying for food for her.

She paid me back for what my dad was supposed to out of the money her daughter sent which meant she cannot get her Welbutrin.

I know this is hard, and I know that she hasn't been the "nicest" person towards you either in the past, so I give you kudos for doing what you're doing!!!!

Thank you! Yeah, I had to set it all aside and be miss supporitive to her. She keeps trying to get me to take sides as do my brother & sister in law so I am being pulled in both directions. I am trying to make each think I took their side. My step mom has no idea i have been texting my sister in law. I also had to set aside what my sister in law and brother has done to me. Though, to hear my brother's voice and to hear him say "I am so proud of you" meant the world to me. I have missed him soooo much!

And my sister in law is oddly nice to me. Weirdly nice. She was the one driving all the crap about me in my family. So, its like griting my teeth when texting her.

Is she old enough?

No, 63 is the target age. Shes 60. 61 in sept.

When I took my daughter in, right after she got out of jail for possession of heroin, she wouldn't follow my simple rules. No drugs, and no smoking. She broke both rules within a month. I told her to pack her shit, and I drove her to a homeless shelter and dropped her off. She lived at the shelter for 18 months. Have no clue where she is now, accept that she is going to marry a drug dealer. Oh what a joyous thing!!!!! NOT!!!!

Yeah, I wish I could do that. I mean, I could but she could take a bus right back to my door, call the cops, and they would force me to let her in. So why bother?

I hate that law in Florida. Squaters that lived in your house in the winter must be evicted. That happened and was on the news. People they didnt even know squating in their house illegally had rights and broke a bunch of pricey shit while there but yet needed to be evicted. It is the most retarded law in Florida.

@She Cat, I will check on it but for now she is getting around ok and im cleaning the house (as I would need to do living alone anyway) and will be signing her up for food stamps. I want to see if she can qualify for some sort of housing due to being diababled (though not on disablity) and being unemployed when her husband abandoned her. But, they all in MI are talking only rehab. I am just not sure a rehab will take her given her meds were all cut in half, her Dr doing a medical detox, and thus not much is in her system now plus she isn't abusing these meds as they are in my safe. I am not sure what you have to do to qualify for a state paid rehab. So lots to check on. I'll chk on other things she may qualify for as well.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@lostforgottensoul How long have they been married???? If it's 10 yrs and she's disabled then she may be able to claim OFF HIS SS. This is something else to check into. Or he may actually have to pay her some kind of support because he abandoned her. Something else to do to fill your already full schedule!!!!!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

How long have they been married????

They got married in '99. So 18 yrs.

she may be able to claim OFF HIS SS

SS and VA benefits. But I will look into that. Ive never heard of that. But household imcome no longer includes his income as he isnt part of the household anymore. Its my income that would prevent medicaid. If thats what you are referencing.

Not sure what else would claim off his benefits would be for.

 

[Deleted member 541]

If she is disabled, then she would qualify for Social security benefits and basically it would come off of his total that he has paid in. My daughter and her son both get SS, and neither has worked, they draw off off her ex husbands SS.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

If she is disabled, then

Disabled but not on disabilty nor can she file again as she waited too long to file. So she has to now wait for age 63.

My daughter and her son both get SS, and neither has worked, they draw off off her ex husbands SS.

Thats an ex though. They arent divorced. I know she cant get his VA benefits, even after he dies. He said he has to be 100% disabled for her to get that and he isn't. He's 50% I believe.

But, a divorce takes time and she, at least, doesn't seem to want to think about that right now. I did mention it to her. Several times.

So, unsure if thats the same if still married and just seperated or if rules change. But, either way, I do think she would have some rights having husband abadonment.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I would still check the Social Security website. Just one more thing to fill your day!!! LOL!!!!!! Keep your chin up!!!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Link Removed

It's always "except in Florida". What the f*ck is up with Florida?

I will research the SS site.

Just one more thing to fill your day!!!

Right! My body is already trying to crash on me. I need to some how split this up as I can't do all of this all weekend. My body won't let me. So, some how I need to under whelm my overwhelmed mind or I will crash and won't be able to stop it.

Oh god this HAD to happen when I can't go see my therapist didnt it?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Here in a bit when she gets up im going to ask if she spoke to him as he called last night but she didnt want to call him back

My bad. She did call him back last night. He didnt answer so she left him message. He is in banking but I guess he works every other Sat. This sat is that sat.

She is researching dual diagnosis places now. She is in tears again because she said "Ft Myers! I can't go there. How would I get there and back and who would visit me?" Sigh! I told her I'd drive her there and then make sure she got where she needed to go after. She isnt come here after and I aaid that. She is now hyper focused on "I have no where to go after" and I keep trying to get her focused back on just going and we can figure out the after later. We hust need to get her in one.

 

[blueangel371115]

She's manipulating you again. She sees you as an easy mark. If she gets you worried that she has nowhere to go, then you won't make her go. Get her set up at a woman's shelter. Don't give her excuses. That's all they are, excuses. She has biological family that need to step up a little more than this. You shouldn't have to shoulder their mother alone. You are totally being used. They probably have no idea what's going on other than what she tells them i.e it's fine and she doesn't need help. Can you get her into a rehab near them? So they can take care of her. If possible, I'd physically meet with her kids and lay down the law with them.