My world just exploded!

[lostforgottensoul]

They probably have no idea what's going on other than what she tells them i.e it's fine and she doesn't need help.

No they don't. They both know. Her daughter sent her $100, $50 of which was given to me to pay me back the money my dad said he was going to pay me back when he got back. Her son is looking for rehabs.

I will be calling them both at lunch today but they both know the issue. I have also advised her that after these 4 weeks at work that I will be filing an eviction.

Can you get her into a rehab near them?

CI & GA? Doubtful. If we go State paid then we will need to do FL but its possible.

I was told that if I look for a rehab (help her look for one) that I am enabling her and too involved. I want a f*cking plan! And i will make sure I have one, soon.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

And her son is f*cking just like her. God! Its a f*cking bad place to be in, directly in the middle being pulled into both directions, being forced to live and exist with one of them, and being asked to go both directions.

I told him that in the end, she needs to move. That I want to be able to rent out the room to a roommate again and thats what was already being planned. What wasnt was buying their car and he keeps saying she is going to be completely alone and that is SOOOOOO hard for me because this is EXACTLY what my family did to me and I know exactly how it feels. I made 3 attempts on my life over it. That is why this is so hard. But it is also way he keeps playing that card.

I knew talking to him wasn't going to be easy. He wanted rock hard facts. What would it take for my mother to stay past the 31st? Money. I said that on purpose as come Aug 2nd, no money then I now have a legal reason to evict. So, lets see.

I advised him that I didnt want it to get to all of that. That I wanted to move her into a rehab. He asked where does she go after rehab and I said nothing. She cant come up there because of his daughter, he says, so why not after rehab?

It wasnt as eventful as I'd hope. I want a f*cking plan or I will get pissed off enough to make some hard decisions I didnt want to make. But, it will come to that soon.

 

[blueangel371115]

Um, they are enabling her by not enrolling her. I don't know how you put up with them. They are completely lying. I'd pack up her crap and drop her off at their doorstep. She wants help to some extent but can't or won't follow up. That's not enabling, allowing her to go on or providing her with her addiction is. She NEEDS help, that's not enabling.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@lostforgottensoul You might also drive her to their doorstep if I were you as @blueangel371115 has suggested. I'd send gas money for you if you'd need it!!!!, seriously!!!!

 

[scout86]

He asked where does she go after rehab

Is your dad planning on filing for divorce?

Here's the thing. She's an adult. Until such time as she's declared incompetent by the courts, she's in charge of her own life. If her kids think she's not capable of handling her own affairs, they need to get her declared incompetent and have someone placed: charge of her affairs.

Meanwhile, she needs to get going and talk to the county/state and find out how they handle indigent drug addicts. Once your dad's rent runs out, that's what she is.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I'd pack up her crap and drop her off at their doorstep.

You might also drive her to their doorstep

Remember, illegal unless she is willing or I have evicted her. I am trying to create a legal reason to evict by telling my dad to not pay me Aug rent (not sure if he was going to or not but am asking him not to) and see if I can do this Aug 2nd for not paying rent. Which would be a legal reason to evict.

She has a rehab assesment Wed 8am to 2pm (I guess its a window?) but I am working and she isnt getting the keys so I said Ober.

Meanwhile, she needs to get going and talk to the county/state and find out how they handle indigent drug addicts. Once your dad's rent runs out, that's what she is.

She said there is no such thing as indigent rehab (aka: free rehab) in Florida, apparently. She said they told her no free for rehabs in Florida, only sliding scale. However, she has zero money so how does a sliding scale work with zero in a non-indigent rehabs. She got it at the hospital. An entire surgery for free by claiming indigent. So why it doesn't work for rehabs I have no idea. They advertise free rehabs in Florida. False advertising? I have no idea!

This is a f*cking nightmare! That's what it is! But I am finally pissed off and looking out for myself (since no one can see I am inconvinenced at all let alone how all of this falls on me) and willing to do everything it takes such as evicting my step mom (just need to wait 4 weeks to get to the courthouse but will serve her the paper before hand) and buying my dad's car.

None of this feels good though!

 

[joeylittle]

You might want to double check if Dad being on the lease and having paid rent counts as her having paid rent, with her not on the lease. It might not matter.

being forced to live and exist with one of them,

Try and remember that you are deciding to put up with this for a month because you want to give her some time and support. That's what you said upthread, anyway. Remembering that will help you better manage the extreme emotion you are feeling around their actions.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

You might want to double check if Dad being on the lease and having paid rent counts as her having paid rent, with her not on the lease. It might not matter.

I'm not 100% a lease matters with it as you must evict in Florida, lease or no lease or how they got inside your home. But I haven't said anything to dad yet and will check. I did check and researched a lot on local eviction and I know amount of unpaid rent is needed alone with monthly amount. I believe the reason for eviction is needed as well (so like paid up on rent but illegal activity sort of thing). But will call about it as well as my apartment office (and will probably find 10 other people to call to check with lol).

Try and remember that you are deciding to put up with this for a month because you want to give her some time and support. That's what you said upthread, anyway. Remembering that will help you better manage the extreme emotion you are feeling around their actions.

It does help to remember that. I guess she is lucky that I can't get to a courthouse right now as technically she will have 4 addtl weeks if taken that far. If it is taken that far, by then I won't feel bad. Its just so hard right now. I miss my therapist!!! :arghh;

 

[IamJenna]

I'm not 100% a lease matters with it as you must evict in Florida, lease or no lease or how t...

wow I'm really amazed at how ur handling really stressful situation so graciously & doing all the right things to look after urself. It's really inspiring. Just wanted to say thanks for sharing this thread. & I really hope this difficult time passes soon for u!!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Is your dad planning on filing for divorce?

Oh, I forgot to answer this. I have no idea. My brother's ("their") plan seems to get her better and her come up there with dad and them doing whatever from there but from what SHE says, after this, that aint happening. So that one is a toss up.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

wow I'm really amazed at how ur handling really stressful situation so graciously & doing all the right things to look after urself. It's really inspiring.

Wow! That was super sweet to say. What I am saying to myself when reading that: "I'm doing all the right things? Graciously? Inspiring?" But, I suppose no one here has had to hear me loose my mind as I have now 5 times, and I am the "take charge in an emergency situation" sort of person. I always have been. So I guess that makes sense.

All I see is all black and white mixing making grey covering my entire eyes. Or something like that. Or that's how it feels. But my brain says "ok, what do we need to do to get from here to there saftely?" If that makes any sense.

 

[IamJenna]

Wow! That was super sweet to say. What I am saying to myself when reading that: "I'm doing...

lol yeah that makes sense. It's also super resourceful to look for opportunities in a crisis... I can relate to that kind of thinking guess it's one of the positive attributes that comes from years of hyper-vigilence hey lol!
It is inspiring to hear how ur handling it. It reminds me to keep sharing where I'm at with trust-worthy people & ask for help when I'm stuck, instead of doing the default position of isolating & letting my head catastrophize everything & run away with myself.
It also reminds me that it's not the situation that matters it's how I handle it, & watching how ur looking for opportunities & not running away from ur reality is really commendable! :)