Relationship Need A Little Help...

[Dijaini]

I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful girl who I believe may have PSTD. She has been abused across the board (sexually, physically, and emotionally), is almost unable to sleep from reoccuring nightmares about those events, and is emotionally numb when it comes to talking about anything that has happened to her. I'm not a medical professional in any way, and I won't be able to procure a professional assessment because she refuses to see a doctor under any circumstances beyond a medical emergency. I seem to have reached my limit in being able to help her (just yelling me what has happened was a huge leap for her) and I was wondering what else I can do? I'm not willing to push her into things she isn't ready for, and I keep making mild suggestions to see a doctor to help with the nightmares (she has, according to her and my observations, not slept solidly for more than an hour and a half for close to 15 years). She is obsessed with not being weak and views most emotional outbursts as such. She just recently cried in front of me and that upset her more than what actually made her cry. Anyone have any suggestions? Right now I am just being there for her, but I'm beginning to feel useless.

Apologies for any and all typos.

 

[Sandra]

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Ladyhope Somerset]

Welcome Dijaini

There's lots of helpful information here for supporters/carers so take some time to read in the supporters section and hopefully you will take some strength from knowing you are not alone.

You want to do your best for your girlfriend and that is wonderful but there are no easy answers, oh how I wish there was a simple bullet point list but PTSD is a very thorny problem. However, there is a very good book "The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship" (How to support your partner and keep your relationship healthy by Diane England PhD). This will give you an understanding of symptoms and treatments.

Keep posting :)

 

[Mrs. T]

I don't know if this will be helpful or not, but I had a similar situation with my husband...in that he didnt want help. Well it has gotten to the point where he's exhausted all other options aside from actually talking about it and he's tired of feeling like something is wrong with him, mentally, but not understanding it. Some of his past trauma is similar to your gf.

I told my husband what I thought (that he has ptsd) and tried to explain to him exactly how I thought it made sense for him, and explained everything I knew about it (trying to 'educate' him about it). he agrees that ptsd makes sense, but unfortunately, also thinks it means he's crazy. Anyways, talking about the symptoms was the easiest for him, so we focussed more on that and talked about how he will only be expected to deal with it (with a therapist) as he is comfortable. He still doesn't seem keen on talking to someone, but he is opening up to me more, and we are waiting for an appointment to see someone.

My point was, maybe talking about the symptoms to start would be the best way to ease her into the idea of treatment.