Need Some Advice

[Bfitz12b]

So, lately I have been slipping back into a lot of issues of not sleeping, anxiety hard core, I was already diagnosed with PTSD by 9 different psychs, went through hell for a long time and got really good when I met my now fiancé. Last month or so it's starting to slip again, things happen out of the blue that I can no longer control, I got off all meds minus my Ambien and Vicodin for my back but rarely take it just pretty much wipe the tears and continue forward. I called the VA and they got me in next week, but need some help on how to contain this, I can not go through another situation like the last, been doing well but everything hitting at once has thrown me off my game and affecting my work. Appreciate all the insight and help guys.

Brian

 

[dutchiedelta]

Hello Bfitz and welcome here. Good of you to join us and feel free to browse the forum for what others have found helpful as well.
Does your fiance support you, does she understand bit what you're going through? With a bit of luck she has no clue what it is from first hand.
Next week you'll be going to the VA, well done for a first step.

Pull up a chair and make yourself at home. :)

 

[Grizzly]

On of the biggest things I have noticed throughout my years of reflecting back on PTSD is how I efficiently manage the STRESS part. Once I overload my plate it's over for me. Being able to pre-plan for life events to me are important. Simple things such as a school program takes a lot of mental preparation. IT is mentally and physically exhausting.

Sounds like you have a lot of items on your plate right now. Engagement is a big step. You are essentially pre-planning your future. For most, it can be taxing on the mind. For someone with PTSD...well it has to be multiplied.

Reaching for help for vets is difficult. We were trained to be self sufficient and to be efficient problem solvers in most adverse and stressful conditions. We have an internal voice tells us to Harden the f*ck Up. Tough it out...etc.

You need to tell your fiance. Explain to here what PTSD really means and don't be afraid to ask for help. Be able to pace yourself and know what your mental and physical limits are.

There is a post on the board here about a "Stress Cup". I forget the true title but it's worth a read. Our (PTSD people) stress cup is usually half full all the time. So it takes a lot less to overflow.

 

[Iceman]

I'm the same way as Grizzly. as long as i have complete control of my world, as i see it, with the pre-planned and pre-informed details, i can control the outer me.

Once 1 or more unexpected items get added in, it becomes harder, but trust me, with an understanding wife, or in your case a wife to be, we can roll though the hard parts.

you need to open up 100% to your fiancee. she needs to become your rock, and trust me, she will help you.

I've had a rough last couple of months, requiring weekly appointments, rather than bi-weekly.
It seems that the hardest weeks however, were the weeks when the inner me was hiding, from myself and from my wife. Once i opened up to my wife, It was easier to manage

 

[vikingr24]

"Wipe the tears" is a familiar phrase. The Wall is hard to climb. Keep with the therapy, buddy. You may get pissed about it or feel you are going nowhere. But stick with it until you know you are not making progress. Then ask for a different therapist. It's merry go round you gotta go through, just like the obstacle course. (Hated that sombitch.)

Welcome. Bring a canteen and fill it.

 

[Friday]

Bleed the stress. Burn it off, sleep it out, restructure shit to be able to vent early & often to hopefully get ahead of stress levels, and if not that -yet- at the very least vent enough to avoid melting down / exploding.

Link Removed

Oh... Pain = stress by the by. Chronic pain? In ordinary times, ditto. It f*cking hurts and so damn what? But when other stressors are piling on? I have to get on top of my pain management BS ASAP. In no small part so that I can seriously bump my exercise levels to help bleed & vent other stress. 2 birds, 1 stone. Failure to do so, however, is more like a brick to the face. Reeling what seems way out of proportion given that I usually just suck it up. Increased stressors? Ain't usually. I have to get on top of my pain.

Other forms of stress we don't usually think about are starving & sleep dep. Eat more. Exercise more. Sleep more. Take more breaks. Connect with people. All the shit we generally don't wanna do when other stress levels rise. Problem there, is the more our stress rises, the worse our symptoms get, the less we are able to do the things that lower stress, the more our stress rises, the worse our symptoms get... Vicious cycle. PTSD is a cyclic disorder. Upside? We can plan for that shit. Set up safety nets to pop us back up to even keel when shit starts to go sideways. Downside? Sometimes we just get knocked on our ass and have to crawl back up. That's normal. Ain't nothing to be afraid of, just is. Feel yourself starting to slip? Good. Self awareness sucks all the fun out of a decent tailspin, but it can also stop most tailspins before they become unrecoverable, and we don't lose everyone & everything we care about competing for asshole of the year award.