Relationship Need Supporter Help

[abandon455]

Correct claiming it’s being afraid and needs to clear her head and she’s isolating.

 

[EveHarrington]

It sounds like it’s over.

The back/forth sounds like PTSD, but I don’t know that I’d call it isolation given that you two still have a lot of contact.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Push/pull is pretty common... It sounds like maybe this is the first time she's been pretty symptomatic on you?

 

[abandon455]

Yea, it’s the first time. She seems numb when she’s usually very emotional and talkative. She keeps emphasising she’s coming back but needs time and space and all these negative thoughts won’t go away and she needs to get away from everyone.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Yes, emotional numbing is a symptom of PTSD. She sounds pretty symptomatic. What is it that *you* want? Do you want to stay in the relationship?

 

[abandon455]

I don’t have a issue with the relationship just the fact it’s been two months with little communication and her removing me on social media to spotify like i’m her enemy. Which also triggers my abandonment.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I know it sucks, and I know it is terrible for anxiety. Trying to have any kind of deep relationship talks with her right now will probably either send her running for the hills or set her off like a bomb.

Untreated PTSD is a rough. You have to ask yourself if you can handle this kind of behavior for a long period of time, because this may be how things are for awhile.

 

[abandon455]

What’s awhile? Months? Years? I don’t really understand how you can be extremely close then they take you off everything and pretend you never existed.

 

[EveHarrington]

Yes, this can go on for years.

It’s not likely something that you can really understand unless you have ptsd, sad to say.

 

[abandon455]

so should I just stop trying to talk to her and just consider her out of my life? she says things like " i want to come back just speak to me normally until I'm ready to come back but i don't know when I'll be ready to see you." but she seems to push when i speak to her and then starts arguments when i just sort of give up as her way of keeping me in?

 

[Justme5721]

i'm just suprised this came out over a year later together and being extremely close.

It's much better than 5 years later and married. Mine just up and left without a word. He has PTSD and I believe schizophrenia and maybe narcissistic. 5 years never saw it...thought he was the most wonderful caring generous person. I can't tell you to walk away...it's not easy and 2 months later I still cry everyday and am now taking meds for anxiety and depression. I too believed I could save him. I'm his wife and should stand by his side. This site has taught me I have to take care of me. I'm still learning that one. Even after all the pain he has caused me I cannot hate him and still love him but I know he refuses treatment and what he has done is inexcusable. I hope you find your peace.

 

[EveHarrington]

This may be the best that it gets.

She’s stringing you along by saying that you need to wait until she’s ready to see you. Hint: This is how it’s going to be until she admits to her problem and works on healing.

Honestly, telling you to go away when she’s talking to another guy? I think she’s playing you.