You are understood. You are heard.
You are voicing to us when I know you wish to be voicing to him but he's not listening to you which hurts you deeply. I had to learn the hard way that not all people we hurt or hurt us wish to say anything to us or us to them and we had to live with the deafening silence. Please continue to talk about this to a professional and get this out. Being a psychologist and being a communications major, you have the skills to get through this which is, to me, amazing!! You have all of us here to voice your anger, your frustration, your tears and most of all, what you're thinking, okay?