Need To Vent - Feeling Completely Deperate

[Binkie]

Hi all, can I vent for a few mins?

Today has been hell. Yesterday morning, my friend phoned my psychiatrist and asked him to get in touch with me urgently. No call yesterday and no call today either. I phoned my support worker this morning and was told "she's out but shes due back any minute so I'll get her to call you when she gets back". She never did. I called her several times throughout the day and there was no answer.

I had an awful night last night, nightmares, flashbacks, hallucinations and sleep paralysis. I even dreamed my own suicide, which is highly likely to come true if I don't get help soon. Today I've been feeling really low and the flashbacks have continued, but I've tried to keep myself really busy to distract myself a bit but really, nothing is working.

Eventually, I rang the NHS helpline number (111) and spoke to a practitioner who took my details then phoned my psychiatrist, left a message asking him to call me asap, then phoned my GP. My GP called me back within a couple of minutes and we chatted things through over the phone. He offered to get the crisis team involved but Ii find they are patronising and make me worse. He then offered to admit me to hospital, , which is one of my worst fears so obviously I said no. At that point, HE phoned my psych and left a message asking him to call me (so that's my friend yesterday, then today the NHS helpline AND my GP). Tomorrow, anything could happen but I have a hospital appointment at 3.30pm, meaning I have to leave the house at 12.45pm as it takes ages to get there. I really can't be bothered going, but I will go. The appointment is medical, not psychiatric, but I can't ask for help with one hand then refuse it with the other.

Please don't say 'sorry to hear that' or 'we are here for you' then leave it at that - it isn't helpful, I don't take sympathy very well and would much prefer constructive help and advice.

 

[J'qel]

Find something that takes almost all your concentration to do, or conversely, sleep on it, as long and as often as you need. Either way ends up the same-put the decision off. Know that you can't make a decision like that right now, and decide to make it later. Each time it comes up again, put it off. Repeat until help or feeling better.

It's the best method I've found so far...procrastination can be used as a force for good. Especially since it's so strong in so many of us.

 

[heyheyhey]

Hi Binkie!!

Sorry, if this is patronising, but have you had anytime to exercise and are you eating healthily? These were some basic things I did that helped when I was having a really rough time. Doing some exercise to music can be a good one and especially doing something you enjoy - dancing was great for me and kickboxing.

I agree with the distractions, maybe watching like some comedy - that can get your mind off of things and put you in a more positive state of mind. Distractions with positive stimuli. Things which ground you and please you; I open my window and look at the trees - I remember one bad morning, i just sat on the windowsill and look at the trees for half an hour. Essential oils can also ground you, lavender has a nice, soothing scent. Do you have a weighted blanket or a soft jumper you can snuggle in and take the time to feel? Good music, white noise like rain water - they will also ground you and distract you and put you in a more positive state of mind. Grounding and using positive resources in this way is a good combo. Have you looked into any of Peter Levine's work? It's very soothing and healing and works with these two aspects - Healing Trauma (the book) can be found on Amazon, but you can also order the CD off of Ebay to the UK (that's where I got mine) - the exercises take like an hour and they are very helpful, obviously it may not come straight away but could be really helpful once it does arrive.

Also journalling can help too.

How do you feel about tiny needles? My acupuncturist saved me when my PTSD was going mental. Anxiety UK have recently run a pilot study of using acupuncture for anxiety and many people find that helpful.

Keep us updated Binkie :).

 

[heyheyhey]

SaneLine and the Samaritans can offer support too.

 

[Deleted member 31998]

Hi Binkie,

It sounds like you need EMDR or CBT therapy immediately; it's really problematic that mental health workers aren't taking you seriously and that's negligence at it's finest. Since you're asking for advice while you're waiting for said services, try pursuing creative outlets, be out in nature, exercise, practice your breathing. I will come up with more when I can think of it. Anyways, take care and warm wishes.

 

[heyheyhey]

Also, anything that can ground you in your body - yoga, body scan meditations, progressive muscle relaxation - scheduling in times to practice them each day could go a long way in bringing some relief.

Not sure your income level, but you can get reduced cost therapy at Anxiety UK and you would be seen within two weeks. Or you can be seen within 48 hours, but you would then pay £50.00 per session. Also provide a free subscription to the Headspace app which has some good guided meditations on, as well as one for SOS/panic attacks and severe anxiety.

 

[heyheyhey]

This includes CBT and also access to reduced cost acupuncture at £20.00 per session.

 

[Intrepid]

Nice vent. I need to vent sometimes too.
When I am in crisis it's hard to function. My current therapist said that when I'm in crisis there is nothing else to treat. I need to get out of crisis. I find something to distract myself. I have a long list of distractors that help me when I'm flashing back or getting emotionally flooded. This is only a temporary solution.

When the crisis is over, that's when the real work begins. I've had years of talk therapy. That helped me not feel so lonely, but it didn't get to the roots of the problem. I'm going to EMDR right now, and that's getting past the blocks that kept me sick. It's giving me some back doors to my trauma. It lets me in when the front door is locked tight.

Yes, we are hear for you, even if we don't have the right answers. At least you don't have to be lonely.