Never Going To Go Away

[Ayasha]

The dissociation and flashbacks are never going to stop, are they? I had gone maybe a month without having an episode and I was starting to think that finally I was done suffering through these flashbacks and losing time. Or not knowing where I am or how I have gotten there. While my therapist told me that with work and time they will get better, there is no guarantee that they will ever fully go away but they will occur less often.

The last part made me hopeful but it is not an easy thing to accept. I guess I am looking for a bit more hope, because this is a very upsetting thought, I want to believe that I will reach a time where I never have to be afraid of dissociating or flashing back to those memories.

 

[PioneerSon]

To feel that there may not be hope and a reprieve from the flashbacks that are associated with my own PTSD as well... that is a frightening thought. We are creatures of hope, which set us apart from the lower mammals of this planet.

Life has show me through the years that the sun always rises the next day... even if it is temporarily obscured by the clouds; a fitting metaphor for our emotional climate as well.

I hope that you can hold on to the lessons that nature give us... there is hope, it is real, and I wish that for you on this Friday evening. Blessings to you... and thank you for sharing.

Keep smiling... :)

 

[Eleanor]

My H's dissociative episodes are getting ... different . Not as severe. He is more in touch with the present moment. They don't last as long. He remembers what happened (then and now.) They went away for a few months, now we've had a cluster of them. The general trend is decreasing.

I know there are people who have been on here and left who've gone to "asymptomatic" and "no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for PTSD." Deafglobalnomad being one I recall in particular. You might search back in "accomplishments" to see if you can find others. There is for sure hope...

Cut yourself some slack here, Ayesha, you've got other issues on the plate as well, AND you are awfully young yet in years - you'll get it sorted...:)

 

[cookinggal]

Its been a year and a few months since my event the flashbacks progressively slow down and are sometimes easier to deal with. It will get better but you believe it will. I promise it sounds harder then it is, just hold your head up high and say " This will pass".

 

[Deleted member 12723]

There is hope and it will improve and get better. I still get flashbacks and it affects me for a day, but they do not happen very often anymore. I still hate feeling the feelings but I have learned how to deal and cope with them.

Like Eleanor said you are young. I wish you the best.

 

[Ayasha]

Thank you all, I am still working on this and knowing that there is hope does keep me going.

And something people don't always understand about me is that when I dissociate, I become (in part) the little girl who was traumatized for so many years. I don't entirely know what that means but that is how I feel--I feel small, lost, and scared. I lose my ability to talk and I feel helpless. I think that, with time and work, that will get better but it will be painful and frustrating to get to that point.

I look forward to the day that I can look back and truly see that I have gotten much better. I do need to remember that I am still growing and learning how to manage all of this, put less pressure on myself.