SeekingJustice
New Here
To be totally honest I've not even spoken to a GP, but after my husband came to the point of telling me I'd been worrying him for a while we surfed the net and PTSD is the most fitting thing (I know I'll need to get it all seen to - don't expect to be diagnosed on here x)
My mum and family were in a car crash, I was pregnant and we had went for a meal. I gave my mum an extra kiss and hug at the door and said goodbye. Next thing I know BOOM BOOM at the door and I am being told in a hospital room she is gone. My lil brother is on a hospital bed, tears of blood, step-dad has glass everywhere over him and a bag draining a lung.
SO I left, disappeared to a new life, new daughter followed 4months later. No justice is court (which is the thing that gets me everytime) I came back a few years later. For years I've fought the 'Not Proven' verdict. Gave up my life, everything in my life is about this ....Career choice, Uni choice, spare time choice. Eat Sleep Dream about it.
I think about it 24/7, Have nightmares the guy is standing at the bottom of my bed, jump at every sound in the room. Had a panic attack when I seen the name of his work van on a van crossing my path, have had them when I've had similar work men come to house, when I see someone who looks like him.
Everyday it's like a ball caught in my throat, kinda like anger but then I have this problem that it spouts, rants, idea's just constant always about the same stuff.
Limited hobbies, and interests, husband is yearning for me to have some new found hobby or thought.
Then at the end of this bubble when I go over what should have been and it pops I just cry and get angry. I see it, everyday I see how it is, shoulda been, what he done.
This is all I am at the moment. Anywho thought I'd throw it out there and see if anyone's experience is similar.
My mum and family were in a car crash, I was pregnant and we had went for a meal. I gave my mum an extra kiss and hug at the door and said goodbye. Next thing I know BOOM BOOM at the door and I am being told in a hospital room she is gone. My lil brother is on a hospital bed, tears of blood, step-dad has glass everywhere over him and a bag draining a lung.
SO I left, disappeared to a new life, new daughter followed 4months later. No justice is court (which is the thing that gets me everytime) I came back a few years later. For years I've fought the 'Not Proven' verdict. Gave up my life, everything in my life is about this ....Career choice, Uni choice, spare time choice. Eat Sleep Dream about it.
I think about it 24/7, Have nightmares the guy is standing at the bottom of my bed, jump at every sound in the room. Had a panic attack when I seen the name of his work van on a van crossing my path, have had them when I've had similar work men come to house, when I see someone who looks like him.
Everyday it's like a ball caught in my throat, kinda like anger but then I have this problem that it spouts, rants, idea's just constant always about the same stuff.
Limited hobbies, and interests, husband is yearning for me to have some new found hobby or thought.
Then at the end of this bubble when I go over what should have been and it pops I just cry and get angry. I see it, everyday I see how it is, shoulda been, what he done.
This is all I am at the moment. Anywho thought I'd throw it out there and see if anyone's experience is similar.
