Sufferer New Here-i Am Quitting Therapy And Need Advice

[City Slicker]

I am glad you are continuing to find things that will be helpful for your journey.

For what it's worth, I tried therapy a few years ago - I lasted about a year of what I would call almost complete destabilization with a therapist that I believe cared but was too inexperienced and too much into her own stuff to be able to assist me clinically. She did similar things to what yours did - and lots more that basically made me feel like I was out of control, and not in a good way.

Best wishes with your journey. You are not alone.

 

[Poofycat]

Welcome to the forum! Is your therapist an experienced trauma therapist? If not, that might be part of the problem.

I recently had a dust-up with my therapist, and I actually learned a lot by going back and working through it. If you decide to go back, maybe approach it as a learning opportunity on your end for how to interact with people you feel dependent on. And always remember that you hold the power in your relationship with your T. You can tell them point blank what does and does not work for you. If they're good, they'll find a way to work with you.

 

[marken]

Thanks for the welcome,intothelight.

City: I had no idea that this destabilization from therapy was so common. I really thought I was going crazy. In the 3 years I have been going there have been numerous incidents with him. As I said, I think he is a good person and I believe he cares on some level but he is not trained to deal with trauma. I have gotten worse and worse to where I am today, feeling out of control as you said in a bad way. It is incredibly helpful to hear others have the same experience.

He is on vacation this week and I am already leveling out a bit emotionally. He comes back next week and things might get very tough when it really hits home that I am done. It will be hard. But I can't keep going through this. Hopefully I will hear today about a group that I can get some support.

Thanks for your help-

 

[marken]

Thanks, poofycat.

I just don't think I am grounded enough to continue therapy right now. I need to get strong again and maybe I can continue then. I just can't keep going the way I am.

 

[marken]

Well, I received word today that I will be starting an intensive program next week (about 15 hours a week) for a few weeks and then into a group that meets once a week. I am relieved but a little apprehensive, too.

 

[EveHarrington]

Good luck! I really hope it's a good fit for you.

 

[marken]

Thanks so much. I am very optimistic about it. I just need to feel stable again so I can function more efficiently and I think that is the point of it. It should only be for 3-4 weeks.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Hey, marken! Like you, I couldn't find a way past the pain and pointlessness of my life. Once I (mostly) accepted that suicide wasn't a good option for me, I had to give myself a reason to go on. So I decided that my life's meaning is to help others. Every day, I try to make someone's life a little bit better. It's such a relief to move my focus away from mysel!

I also try to think of one thing I'm grateful for every day, which is pretty easy, considering that I find opportunities to help someone every day. I still suffer from depression, but it's not as overwhelming now.

 

[marken]

Hi Mal,
Thanks so much for the suggestion. I am really trying. I have started a volunteer job. But I am so overwhelmed with this depression that I have trouble even leaving the house. It is awful. I think that I have not fully accepted that suicide is not an option. All I want is to feel better!

 

[hangingon]

If getting out for fresh air/walk is too much, start smaller. Commit to getting dressed every day no matter what into something that could not be mistaken for pajamas, and take time to fix your hair. Sounds silly but helps you feel like a part of society, purposeful and more confident. And next I would find an encouraging book or resource to pull from daily. I watched an "I am second" video everyday until I had seen them all. Find something positive that works for you and plants the encouraging seed for the day.
As for your therapist, it doesn't sound like there's enough to just call it quits. We all make mistakes and if everyone quit on us with each mistake. . . .
Make your feelings about that the topic of your next session. But you can't expect your therapist to be your sole lifeline, put it back into your own hands. Therapy is to develop effective coping mechanisms not dependency, don't give him that power

 

[MIZZKK]

Hi
First off I wanted to say you have the right to feel how you feel. However having said that I often ask clients to look at it from the other persons point of view. Most therapists work 8-12 hours a day having back to back clients with only 5-10 minute breaks in between, restroom, scheduling new appointments, writting insurance reports and so on fills those 5-10 breaks. So say a practitioner has 40-60 clients a week they can't possibly answer every email. You said yourself sometimes you didn't contact him then during times of stress you needed more reassurance how many emails did you write? While practitioners understand this one email or so is understandable, multiple and abuse of the offer is not, he possibly could have felt taken advantage of and was trying to re-establish boundaries(however he should have said so) or maybe he thought you might recognize on your own. I feel your therapist was being kind to offer it in the first place it was your expectation that you had of him to respond to every email. This is often times where there is a fine line of reaching out and over reaching out.
I don't take it to be malicious but often times patients can only see from their standpoint and only see their needs. A therapist cares about their clients however they are not buddies or friends who you can call on like you would a friend.
So I would suggest you try to look at it from a bigger point of view this man has seen you twice weekly for 3 years it's up to you if to continue therapy or not but it sounds like you need much more care than he can provide.
Have you tried EMDR for anxiety and PTSD? Often times when clients need someone to reach out too it's anxiety fueled. I'd suggest asking your therapist for the name of someone who has been trained in working with PTSD clients and who has lots of experience with EMDR. I think once you get your anxiety controlled you would be fine with your current therapist. However I'd suggest having one last season with him if you are terminating so you can have proper closure and it doesn't set your therapy back to square one.

 

[marken]

Hanginon-I really appreciate your thoughts. I am trying and start my new program tomorrow. I am trying to be hopeful as the past few days have been very, very hard.

MIZZKK-I appreciate the time you took to write this reply. But it really felt hurtful to me. I continually think of his side of this situation and we talk about it on a regular basis as I imagine him to despise me because I reach out for help. I have never abused this situation. It I needed help and reached out whatever response I got was sufficient to tide me over.

I don't want to go into it anymore because it is very triggering to me. But I know the situation and there should have been a conversation. I don't expect (or want) him to be my buddy or friend. I do expect him to act in a professional manner. I can't go into it anymore.