Hi all,
I just signed up for this online support group after realizing i need to do somthing to try to help myself get better, and what better way then to connect with other people who suffer from PTSD as well. Hmm here to start..
.
I'm 22 years old and I guess I can say I have "Daddy issues". i grew up to a very abusive father who was not only a crazy nut but also a strict hypocritical religious man. My father would always beat my mother, sister and little brother. He did'nt beat me as much cause i guess i was always the smart one to hide when he came home. He would always pull us into the room and scream and cry and say how he was going to pull us all out into the street and shoot us all. That was a usual thing. He did a lot of bad things to my family and everyday I feared for my family and my life. One time on my 11th birthday he tried ran us out of the house beating my mother and threatening to kill us so we spent the whole night hiding in the car. This is all just the tip of the iceberg.
There's also incidents of his girl friends whome he cheated on my mother with everyday of their marriage that have come after us and blew up our car and try to kill us. As well as people who my father had screwed over in his businesses that have come after me. I would constantly get rape threats at the age of 16 from them. I am greatly affected by this. I often have nightmares of my father trying to kill me or the man who I never met that threatened to rape me.
I can't act normal around people and I'm very shy. I'm terrified of men and my past has always strained my relationships. I cant interact or show normal humanly emotions as if I am a robot who doesn't understand it. I have such bad anxiety. I feel like a monster. I'm paranoid all the time and have repetitive thoughts about the past. I wasn't allowed to talk to people growing up so I'm scared of interactions. I also never had a male figure growing up except for my father so I think every man is my dad and it's almost as if I hate all men like ALOT. I'm a wreck. Sorry ranting .
I look forward to talking and getting to know you all.
-Dee
I just signed up for this online support group after realizing i need to do somthing to try to help myself get better, and what better way then to connect with other people who suffer from PTSD as well. Hmm here to start..
.
I'm 22 years old and I guess I can say I have "Daddy issues". i grew up to a very abusive father who was not only a crazy nut but also a strict hypocritical religious man. My father would always beat my mother, sister and little brother. He did'nt beat me as much cause i guess i was always the smart one to hide when he came home. He would always pull us into the room and scream and cry and say how he was going to pull us all out into the street and shoot us all. That was a usual thing. He did a lot of bad things to my family and everyday I feared for my family and my life. One time on my 11th birthday he tried ran us out of the house beating my mother and threatening to kill us so we spent the whole night hiding in the car. This is all just the tip of the iceberg.
There's also incidents of his girl friends whome he cheated on my mother with everyday of their marriage that have come after us and blew up our car and try to kill us. As well as people who my father had screwed over in his businesses that have come after me. I would constantly get rape threats at the age of 16 from them. I am greatly affected by this. I often have nightmares of my father trying to kill me or the man who I never met that threatened to rape me.
I can't act normal around people and I'm very shy. I'm terrified of men and my past has always strained my relationships. I cant interact or show normal humanly emotions as if I am a robot who doesn't understand it. I have such bad anxiety. I feel like a monster. I'm paranoid all the time and have repetitive thoughts about the past. I wasn't allowed to talk to people growing up so I'm scared of interactions. I also never had a male figure growing up except for my father so I think every man is my dad and it's almost as if I hate all men like ALOT. I'm a wreck. Sorry ranting .
I look forward to talking and getting to know you all.
-Dee
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