New Job

[Sammy]

I have a new job. It is still not enough to support myself but is a move in the right direction. I probably couldn't handle a truly full-time job anyway. I will be teaching English to small groups of international students - the very beginners. It is difficult but rewarding. I have been teaching higher levels for a couple of months and enjoy it immensely. I am pleased and excited about the new job - that graduate degree may actually be worth the hard work. I am also scared silly! Considering all I am dealing with outside my professional world (divorce, for starters) I am happy I can get myself out of bed in the morning. I did orientation this morning and it was all I could do to stay calm and not get overwhelmed. But, I survived. "Breathe slowly...breathe slowly... you can do this, you know how to teach, you are good at this, this is a blessing, blah, blah, blah..." One day I might believe all the things I keep trying to tell myself. :O_o:

 

[Sammy]

Oops... perhaps this should have gone under "Employment." It just felt like a success to me...

 

[Nicolette]

Well done Sammy. Definitely a move in the right direction. :tup:

 

[mamachick]

good job-congratulations

 

[Sammy]

First day at the new job. Mid-day panic attack, thanks to a supportive spouse (ha!) but survived. Thank goodness for Ativan. I feel like I was run over. My feet are killing me! I want my sneakers or slippers...

 

[jokuzzi]

Great job Sammy! One day (or moment) at a time.
Wishing you the best.

 

[Sammy]

Thanks. Day 2 was better. You are right, one minute at a time... Breathe, I am safe, breathe, I am safe, breathe...

 

[jokuzzi]

I'm so happy for you! Glad you're remembering to breathe, it's important.

This may sound silly, but I carry a secret weapon with me that helps me get through some tough moments (especially at work). I carry a small green heart in my pocket, no pocket? my sock, no sock? my hand. It reminds me of a little boy telling that me I have a green heart. He knew I did because he saw it before he (my son) was born. When I see my green heart, I feel stronger and I can do what I need to do. It's helped me many times - my talisman.

If you have something like this that brings you comfort, carry it with you (and make it your secret weapon).

 

[Sammy]

I have tried that... I seem to alway lose them. ;) The job I am doing would be a big challenge for whomever is doing it. It is exhausting and just plain overwhelming. I work at a language school and I was given the level one class - students who either have NO English (I mean none!!) or students who have been in level 1 for months because they don't bother to attend class regularly and when they do, they are disruptive. Nice. At least the classes are small so I teach in a room that is little more than a closet with a window so my students can watch everyone coming and going from the school. I leave school battling the PTSD... "why do they hate me," "I can't do this," blah, blah, blah. I get to go home to a dog that is very old and losing control of her bowels (always a pleasant treat upon entry into the house :eek:), a divorce in the offing, a move so the house can be sold... Home is not much of a safe haven. I usually do whatever I need to do for the next day of school and then check out by watching some mindless TV and telling myself I am doing well to be making it through the day without flipping out completely. I didn't hurt anyone today. I didn't yell at anyone. I managed to eat lunch... I am doing well. Killer headache and all, I am OK. Breathe.... drink some water, breathe, I am OK, breathe...

 

[The Albatross]

So glad for you Sammy, about the classes. I have a ring of my father's I wear it reminds me that I'm the daughter of one tough Jose. I wear it on my middle finger. My husband gave me a ring from my father in law, his dad... now I wear his ring on my other middle finger. He was a great and gentle man. It helps me to remember their strengths.

 

[charliehotelwhiskey]

Congrats on getting a job Sammy.

CHW