Here are some things that have helped me cope and I wanted to share them. I know that my Mom can be very sensitive about certain words and terms used to describe certain aspects that relate to her which has made it a challenge at times for her and I to communicate about certain things and I just wanted to say that I understand and hope that I do not offend anyone with the words that I have pasted here. Please note I quoted from a website healthyplace.com.
You cannot cure a mental disorder for a parent or sibling
Mental disorders affect more than the person who is ill.
Despite your best efforts, your loved one's symptoms may get worse, or they may improve.
If you feel extreme resentment, you are giving too much.
Separate the person from the disorder.
It is not OK for you to be neglected. You have emotional needs and wants, too
The illness of a family member is nothing to be ashamed of.
You may have to revise your expectations of the ill person.
You may have to renegotiate your emotional relationship with the ill person.
Acknowledge the remarkable courage your sibling or parents may show when dealing with a mental disorder.
Symptoms may change over time while the underlying disorder remains.
Mental health professionals have varied degrees of competence.
Strange behavior is a symptom of the disorder. Don't take it personally.
Don't be afraid to ask your sibling or parent if he or she is thinking about hurting him- or herself. Suicide is real.
Don't shoulder the whole responsibility for your mentally disordered relative yourself.
You are not a paid professional caseworker. Your role is to be a sibling or child, not a parent or caseworker.
The needs of the ill person do not necessarily always come first.
If you can't care for yourself, you can't care for another.
It is important to have boundaries and to set clear limits.
Just because a person has limited capabilities doesn't mean that you expect nothing of him or her.
It is natural to experience many and confusing emotions such as grief, guilt, fear, anger, sadness, hurt, confusion, and more. You, not the ill person, are responsible for your own feelings.
Inability to talk about your feelings may leave you stuck or "frozen."
You are not alone. Sharing your thoughts and feelings in a support group has been helpful and enlightening for many.
Eventually you may see the silver lining in the storm clouds: your own increased awareness, sensitivity, receptivity, compassion, and maturity. You may become less judgmental and self-centered, a better person.
