Emerg Services New purpose

[Peaceful Warrior]

Any former Leo's out there that had to leave the profession due to ptsd? I had to retire ten months ago and haven't been in uniform in 17 months. As you know as police officers, we have a calling and a mission and I guess you could say a life purpose. All that is gone now obviously and I'm trying to find my new purpose. Some ideas I have are too set up workshops with a counselor for active, potential and retired officers to teach them tools to deal with the stress and trauma, but that hasn't worked out yet. Another idea I have is restore an older car, but finances are preventing that at the moment. Can anyone please give their experience if they have been in this scenario and how they found their purpose again? I have accepted I will never be a police officer again, but I would be lying if I said sometimes it seems like one big dream I've had and one day I will wake up.

 

[LuckiLee]

I wish I had advice for you. My guy is really struggling with this too. He's ex military and now works as a plant manager and hates everything about it.

We keep trying to come up with idea's but not having much luck. He feels nothing can compare to the things he's accomplished already. And civilians don't put half the effort into their jobs that he and his men did. <<<That is sucking the life out of him! It's his number one stressor.

So, we don't have a clue right now and actually trying to figure it out just like you. He does some volunteer work. Teaches self defense to inner city girls with my nephew (LEO), donates time to the occasional fish fry at the VFW or F.O.E, ... And fishing. He does a whole lotta fishing!! :)

Our dream. To own a little general store on a little lake in a little town. Lol. Maybe rent canoes, sell ice cream... J can sell fishing crap and worms...

We've also talked about becoming P.I.'s. I'm the brains. ;) I've wanted to do this since my mom got me into Agatha Christie and Magnum P.I. (& everything in between!)

I'm babbling now. Sorry. But J's in the same "pickle" as you right now. He's working with the VA right now to start school in the fall and finish his degree. Then he wants to pursue his Masters.

I hope some other people chime in here. I'd love to hear more ideas. Good luck Peaceful Warrior! ✌ &

 

[Peaceful Warrior]

Glad to see he back out working, but hate to see he doesnt like it. I'm not at the point yet I could work full time and part time would be a stretch due to severe fatigue. I might could do 4-5 hrs one day a week. It's hard to understand unless one has experienced it. It's a challenge to stay on top of basic activities. Laundry, etc.

 

[Tinyflame]

I can only say @Peaceful Warrior , what intangible qualities of your work encompassed that passion? And then see if those same qualities can be found in a different capacity. that seems realistic to engage in, not too much to handle. Start small.

 

[FragileGlass]

I know there are different branches in the police department, I’m not sure which you served. I know many LEO’s had specialities that found private security firms (non security guard) for consulting purposes in a corporate or private capacity. While I am knee deep in my battle now. I have talked to a couple of Law Enforcement colleges to take on a speaker role in the Fall to discuss and talk about scenarios, security risks, emotional tolls I faced in the Emerge Unit.

I do like the idea of empowering your diagnosis to help others. I understand the disempowerment that comes from being mentally injured by something we signed up for. Our traumas behave a little differently because we chose to do this knowing risks were there but not knowing how the risks would eventually wear us down. Giving your PTSD a meaningful purpose would help many down the road, hopefully give you a chance to feel that there is a purpose for all of it.

 

[LuckiLee]

That's another option he's thinking about. Talking with his doctors about the stress working puts him under. Maybe he shouldn't work right now? Like I said it's his major stressor. (now that I think about it its probably a trigger? These numbskulls' not doing their jobs. People could die!!)

We've been using a to do list o the fridge. Nothing crazy, five or six things. Get light bulbs, milk, clean kitchen floor... It helps with remembering and when something gets crossed off? It's validating. Little victories add up.

Start a list of your own. Small things to start with. We have a dry erase board we use. Grocery list. To do around the house. And important calls and appointments. We also use a calendar. These things keep him (and I) productive. It seems to help alot.

Hobbies? Do you have any hobbies? You mentioned cars. We have alot of car shows here. Do you have anything like that where you are? You can get out of the house and talk with people/or not about rebuilds and such....

 

[Freida]

I started working with an online crisis group. Nothing that takes up a ton of time but just enough to remind me that what I can do matters. Maybe something like that?

 

[Ronin]

Ditto. I picked up charity work whenever I could and was not tired with the endless drama and office obstacles in the way. /not a LEO.

 

[blackemerald1]

I'm so glad I am not alone in feeling this. I used to look at everyone's job and ask myself - do I want to do that yes/no/maybe..no I want my career back... ugh and round and round it goes....

 

[Peaceful Warrior]

I can relate somewhat. Although I didn't want my career back, I think I found a new beginning. As weird as it may seem, I got a part time job at a funeral home. Low stress, nothing to do with prepping or dealing with the deceased. Just transporting flowers to the service and greeting people for services. Gives me a sense I'm still helping people, but not overwhelmed and nothing that causes triggers.

 

[blackemerald1]

Gives me a sense I'm still helping people, but not overwhelmed and nothing that causes triggers.

Unfortunately the organisation I worked for just threw me on the rubbish heap and told me (via their medics) I will never work again. So no re-training, no assistance to get back on my feet. So...I am still struggling to do just that and find something like what you described^^^^^.

 

[Peaceful Warrior]

Unfortunately, what you have gone through seems to be the norm. Agencies distance themselves from you and you are no longer a priority to them. After serving 22 years when my 1100 hours of sick time ran out I was placed on unpaid leave for about 6 weeks until my retirement board approved my retirement. This was a slap in the face since members who become a subject of a criminal investigation get to sit home and get paid while they are being investigated. The only way this will change is either new laws have to be made or agencies will have to be shamed into doing the right thing. I think the local media would enjoy stories like yours and mine. After 3 months of my official retirement date I finally had to email the city manager to get my credentials because no one had given them to me . I did not get to participate in the regular exit process and was treated like a leper. On the other hand I have forgiven those who mistreated me and have no ill-will toward anyone at my former agency. All that is now is a distant memory. So there is hope for you in the future. Rest, get well and you will also find something in the future if you want to work that will meet your needs. As a side note and a word of advice I just went through a transcendental meditation class and it has helped me sleep better, it has helped my disturbing dreams and it has helped my energy levels. And it has helped my quality of life overall. I would recommend Transcendental Meditation to anyone who is in a high-stress job or has suffered an emotional injury.