New therapist, how many sessions to decide?

[scout86]

I walked out feeling like I would just lie to him in the future

That seems like a pretty good indication this isn't going to work, doesn't it? That's a difficult topic, for sure, but it's also important. (Maybe life & death important?) If you can't trust him with your thoughts, he's not going to be much help, I don't think. I suppose you could stick with it for awhile & see if it gets any better, but I think I'd keep looking in the meantime.

 

[LuckiLee]

I'm probably wrong but you could tell him how his diploma is distracting you. Give him the story and see how he deals with it. This way you can find out a little bit more about how he "operates". ;) Good luck!

 

[Justmehere]

Have you consulted with any other possible therapists?

I think it’s not just a matter of sticking it out with a therapist for x amount of sessions, but comparing options.

 

[grit]

fauxkiz,

I am very sure your senses are right but also at the same time, it is probably also OK to see him again or give him another chance.
This reminds of me of online dating. You can have the greatest chemistry and then you meet and you are like what??? but we all know the feeling can be just ours, the moment, theirs or combination of any or just pure imagination.
If this journey is really important to you, I thin give it one more chance after you process all your feelings about the last meeting and see how it goes. Keep in mind, no matter how intimate a therapy gets, it is still a regulated profession and there are ethical guidelines one must follow so do not judge him for doing his job but how he can help you heal your pain.

 

[FauxLiz]

@scout86 and @grit I have always relied on my gut instinct about people and with this new T my instinct is screaming NOOOOO! I won't say that there have not been times in the past that I considered lying to my T I have not done so and I don't want to start.

@Justmehere I haven't consulted other T but I am at a point where I think that is going to have to be an option.

@LuckiLee I had that conversation with him yesterday when I scheduled a last minute impulsive face to face session as I unexpectedly ended up in the area of his office away from my home community.

I think at issue here is that the new T feels at odds with my attachment to previous T and it feels as though there is a third party (ghost) in our sessions. Yesterday it seemed as if he resented that I have seen other therapists and wants to prove his superiority by basically telling me that the others have done things wrong and if only they had done them right I would be cured by now and to not expect to be in therapy long term with him as he doesn't think long term therapy is ethical - his words not mine. I am working on typing out what I want to say to him tomorrow as I feel I need to get all of this out in the open. I have started looking for other potential therapists but it is not easy in a rural community.

 

[FauxLiz]

So I had my session this morning with new T and we went over my two pages of issues that I am feeling/experiencing in our relationship thus far. He feels that I am misunderstanding what he says. I honestly don't know, I know that the attachment with my previous T remains strong. I also know that I don't trust easily and that I have been defensive during our session on Tuesday and again today. I have agreed not to jump ship immediately and see if it is possible to develop a therapeutic alliance but in the mean time I am also going to begin identifying other possible T's I will continue to update this thread as things progress and see where I end up.

 

[Justmehere]

Well done on being honest with him and brining it all up directly with him! That took courage.

I would too still consult with a few others. I have probably seen 15 Ts 1-4 times while finding the 3 that have worked for me. If anything, you’ll at least learn about options and more about what it’s like to meet with different styles of therapists.